Moth to Flame

CHAPTER 12

Ethan

You promised. Those two f*****g words had been the death knell in our relationship.

I couldn't be there with Mia in the next room. I had to leave, so I dressed quickly and grabbed my keys. The villa had a fleet of cars stored in the garage. I chose a black Maserati Quattroporte and pulled out of the driveway. I called Marcello, the butler, and ordered both him and the staff from last night to stay at the house for the day, and asked him to make sure that Mia ate and had everything she wanted. Next, I called the chauffeur and told him to offer his services to her in case she planned to explore the city.

I peeled out of the gates like a bat out of hell. I had no clue where I was going, but I knew that I would be getting piss ass drunk for most of the day. I drove to a small café in downtown Florence that was frequented by various Organization members where illegal goods were smuggled in from the basement. Lots of the Cosa Nostra nodded and welcomed me when I stepped through the doors. They still remembered my father and had always shown the utmost respect to me when I visited.

I walked over to greet Donato, the owner, and told him what I wanted. He led me to the back and boxed several bottles of Diesel 190 proof and black Sambuca for me. He had one of the stock boys carry it all out to my car. I slipped him a gold clip containing several hundred American dollars and shook his hand before leaving.

With my liquor in tow, I headed to a small luxury inn where I had taken some b***h the last time that I was in Tuscany. Mia was the only woman, besides family, that I had ever taken to the villa. Just thinking about her caused a deep pain to form in my chest. I pushed the memory of her aside and pulled into the gates. I parked in one of the few coveted parking spaces. Then, I grabbed my overnight bag and stuffed it with some of my stash.

Inside, I walked up to the reception desk and asked for a suite. The clerk looked like he was about to tell me some bullshit, so I slipped another clip of hundreds across the desk. He led me to their best room, which had a living area and a bedroom with a huge king-sized canopy bed.

I gave him a large tip with orders that I was to be left the f**k alone. The fucker actually bowed to me as he was leaving. When the door closed, I stripped down to just my boxers and opened the Diesel. I wasn't even going to f*****g bother with glasses; I'd just drink the s**t straight out the bottle.

The intense burn felt good going down my throat. With every sip, I saw my baby doll's battered and bruised body. I drank to numb the pain that formed every time I thought of her. She probably thought that I was a f*****g psychopath because of the way I had used her. Gulp. She was so goddamned sweet and innocent and I ruined her. Gulp. How the f**k was I going to live without sunshine when I had finally adjusted to the light? Gulp. I was so much of a goddamned coward that I couldn't even f*****g face her after what I'd done. Gulp. She deserved the f*****g best, but she had let my pathetic ass touch her. Gulp.

By now, I was so f****d up that I was stuck between the nightmare and the reality. I was half way between alert and passed out. I stumbled off of the bed to grab the bottle of Sambuca and started drinking the s**t like water. I just wanted to fall into unconsciousness so that I wouldn't have to see Mia's bruised body in my mind. In one f*****g night, I had managed to destroy the only thing that ever mattered to me. There was no way she was going to forgive me for that s**t. I would be lucky if she didn't press charges for s****l assault.

My brain was beginning to feel fuzzy, so I went to the bathroom and heaved up the little that was left in my stomach. Then, I went back to the bedroom and drank more Diesel. That s**t was strong as f**k, just what I needed.

Eventually, I passed out. When I came to again, my f*****g head was on fire and it was nighttime. According to the clock, I had been out for over 9 hours. My mouth was dry as f**k, so I grabbed my bottle of liquor and continued to drink. I decided to call Marcello to inquire about my baby doll. Just because I couldn't f*****g face her didn't mean that I wasn't worried.

He picked up on the first ring. "Marcello, I'm just calling to see how Mia is doing."

His accented voice sounded sad even to my drunken ears. "She refused to eat, Maestro. The maid, Tazia, has a fondness for the little mistress, and has been trying to coax her out of bed all day. I am worried, Sir. Tazia said she has been lying in bed and sobbing uncontrollably all day. Tazia did finally manage to bathe her and change the sheets, but she's been comatose ever since. We will watch her closely tonight. Will you be home tomorrow, Sir?"

My baby doll wasn't f*****g eating or moving! I was frantic. She had to be f*****g starving after all the energy she burned. Even worse, she was probably in excruciating pain because of her injuries. The fact that she wasn't even in the mood to go to the library told me how bad she must've been feeling. The thought of her crying in that bed where I had f****d her made my f*****g chest constrict.

I pulled myself together so that I could answer Marcello. "Yes, I'll be home tomorrow. My sincere apologies and thanks to both you and Tazia. I will make sure you are all compensated well for this. Please ask Tazia to keep trying to get Mia to eat. If there are any problems, don't hesitate to call me." I hung up after he promised me that he would do all they could to assist her.

Mia was in physical and emotional pain, and I was the cause of it all. I couldn't f*****g catch my breath. I felt a torrent of tears leak down my f*****g face and I sobbed onto the nearest pillow. Never in my goddamned life had I cried like I did at that moment.

When there were no tears left, I went back to my f*****g liquor. Before long, I was out of it again. I began to see a hazy image of my babydoll sitting on the bed next to me. I apologized to it and rambled on about how much I loved her and how sorry I was. The hallucination disappeared and I was left alone. I passed out again.

I had that same nightmare before and it was more vivid than ever. I begged for the devil to take my demon soul so that I couldn't hurt my babydoll anymore. When I came to, I was sweating like a f*****g animal. The clock said that it was five in the morning. I pulled out my phone and called my anger management therapist. It was still night in Seattle, so he should have been awake.

He answered after a couple of rings. "Hello. How can I help you?" I could hear his wife laughing in the background. The sound made me think of Mia and my stomach clenched.

"Doctor, this is Ethan Sodero. I'm sorry to call you, but you said to call anytime day or night. I need your help. I f****d up. I hurt my girlfriend Mia really badly. I feel like doing everyone a favor and f*****g offing myself. I have a gun and lots of liquor and…" My f*****g voice broke.

"Ethan, calm down. Listen to me. Go into the bathroom and pour the liquor down the toilet. Stay on the line with me so I can hear the toilet flush." I went into the bathroom and did as he said. Normally I would argue about this s**t, but my brain was all kinds of f****d up.

"Thank you Ethan. Is Mia there? Can I talk to her?" I told him about me leaving Mia and coming to the inn to drink.

"That's okay. I need you to tell me exactly what happened, but before you do that, I want you to unload your gun and put it away in a drawer." Again I did as I was told. After that was done, I sat back down on the bed.

"She was a f*****g virgin. I f****d her too hard and hurt her. I saw the f*****g bruises, scratches, and blood. I couldn't f*****g stop. It was too much; she's in pain." Deep guttural cries came out of my throat. I could feel myself slipping again.

"Listen, Ethan, get yourself together. Don't be a selfish asshole and hurt her more by killing yourself. You have to go back to the villa and apologize to Mia. She's probably scared and worried sick about you. Don't think about yourself. Talk to her about what you think you've done and be there for her."

He didn't f*****g understand. "What I think I've done!" I shouted, throwing his words back at him. "You didn't f*****g see her. She was a goddamned mess. She looked like she'd been in combat."

I could hear him sigh on the other end. "Ethan, it may not be as bad as you think. It sounds like you were rough with her, but from what you've told me, Mia loves you and you love her. Don't throw that away on an assumption."

Could he be right? Could she really forgive my sorry ass for doing that s**t to her? I couldn't hope because the disappointment would kill me.

The therapist hung up after I promised him that I would sober up and then go home to Mia. I called room service and ordered a pot of strong Italian coffee and some toast. My stomach was f*****g burning because it was so empty. The food was delivered in less than ten minutes. I had left instructions to leave the cart outside my door.

I drank the coffee black and ate some toast. Immediately, I started to feel better. I had a bottle of painkillers in my bag, so I took two. When I was sober enough, I began to go over my therapist's words. He was right: I should be willing to fight for my baby doll. She was my f*****g life, and I wasn't going to lose her just because I was an asshole. I slept for a few more hours and then woke up to get dressed.

I showered in the large bathroom and put on a fresh set of clothes. Looking at myself in the mirror caused me to grimace. My eyes were bloodshot and I was pale as a f*****g ghost. I also had a day's stubble on my chin, but my f*****g hands were shaking so badly that I didn't want to try to shave. My hair was a yellowy mess as usual.

I left the bathroom and ordered a fresh pot of coffee. When I was sure that I was sober, I grabbed my bag and headed for the Maserati. It was especially warm out today, and I thought of all the things I could be doing with Mia. This was her f*****g birthday vacation and she was stuck inside because of me. I was going to apologize to her and make sure she was okay. If she wanted me to leave, I would make arrangements and return to Seattle. Wyatt and the rest of my family were probably going to kill me, but I deserved it.

With a new resolve, I headed back to the villa. The drive over went smoothly. I looked out the window at all the couples on honeymoons and s**t, mauling each other in the goddamned street; it should have been me and my baby doll.

A grave-looking Marcello greeted me at the door. He told me that they had gotten Mia to eat a little breakfast, but she still hadn't left the bed. I mustered up every bit of strength I had before going into the bedroom.

Through the glass doors stood Mia, looking out over the balcony. Her lustrous mahogany hair was blowing in the soft breeze. She was even wearing one of my blue silk pajama tops that hung past her uncovered knees. She was also barefoot. I could have stayed there and observed her forever.

As if she sensed me, she turned around and my f*****g heart splintered. Her face was red and puffy, and yet she still had tears falling down her cheeks. Her beautiful doe eyes were dull and lifeless. She was even paler than I was, and there was no flush to her beautiful skin.

"Ethan. You… you… promised me." Her voice was rough and scratchy. I couldn't go to her, because if I did, the last string holding me together would break.

It was now or never. "Baby doll, I'm so f*****g sorry for what I did to you. I know there's no excuse, but I couldn't control myself. I never meant to hurt you. The bruises… I can understand if you want to press charges or something. I will never forgive myself for f*****g you like that. I… I… love you so goddamned much. I'm so very sorry."

She was silent. I managed to pull my head up to look at her. She had stopped crying but she looked f*****g confused.

"What the hell are you talking about, Ethan? Why would I press charges against you?"

She was really going to make me f*****g say it. "I hurt you, baby doll. I was too f*****g rough. I saw the injuries. I always knew I was a f*****g monster, but I never thought I would hurt you."

My legs gave way as I fell to my knees on the Turkish rug. Mia came and sat in front of me. I couldn't bear to look at her so I kept my head lowered. Her scent enveloped me and I cried out. I felt her hand stroke my hair, even though I wasn't f*****g worthy of her touch.

"Oh, Ethan, you didn't hurt me. Sure I was sore and there were bruises, but you making love to me was the best moment of my life so far. Do you know how erotic it felt for me to be wanted so fiercely? Knowing that I could make you feel so much pleasure made me feel invincible. I loved that you lost control and became uninhibited with me. I could feel how much you needed me, and I reveled in that. All the bites, bruises, and scratches were you claiming my body for all of eternity. The only other blood was from my virginity, which I was glad to shed. It was my sacrifice to show my complete devotion to you and only you. I loved every minute of our lovemaking. I came so many times that I died and went to heaven in your arms. I don't know if you noticed, but I marked you up, too. I don't regret a damn thing. I love you so much, Ethan."

I didn't move for fear that this was a dream and I would awake soon. Mia's fingers continued stroking my hair lovingly. I looked down to see her smiling up at me. Her eyes were lit again and there was a light blush on her cheeks. I reached out and grasped her other hand.

"I… I… thought you were angry at me. I promised not to hurt you, but then I did it anyway."

She f*****g kissed me on the cheek. I didn't deserve her all-consuming love. "Ethan, I have told you time and time again about making assumptions. Didn't I just say you didn't hurt me? I was angry because when I woke up, I wasn't wrapped in your arms. You were in the other room, so I figured you didn't…want me anymore, even though you promised that you wouldn't get tired of me after we had sex."

Fuck. That was what she had meant.

I was a goddamned i***t. All this time she had only been angry because she thought I had abandoned her. A weight was lifted off my chest, and I felt like I could breathe again.

"I always f*****g want you, baby doll. I love you more than words can say. You're the only thing that I can't live without. Don't ever think that I could get tired of you. I'm yours and only yours, forever."

I couldn't stand to spend one more second apart, so I pulled her into my arms. We kissed like two drowning souls in a sea. I tangled my hands in her hair and moaned into her mouth.

"I love you. I love you," we both mumbled between kisses.

Mia straddled my hips and pushed me down so that I was lying on the ground. "I don't think I can let you off too easily. I think you need to be punished. I mean, if I let you get away with stuff, how will you ever learn?"

She rubbed her silken cheek along my stubbly jaw. "Mmmhhh, I like that. You should not shave more often, Ethan."

I put my hands on the back of her neck and directed her sweet mouth back to mine. Our tongues tangled together in a lazy dance. I became drunk on the potency of her. She reached up and pulled off her nightshirt. Her gorgeous breasts were bare and her pink n*****s puckered eagerly. She leaned down to put one in my mouth. I sucked it into my mouth and savored the sweet taste. She moaned loudly and leaned more into me. I never broke eye contact as I took her other breast in my mouth.

"Ethan!"

I was obviously not the only one enjoying our play. I nipped her lightly as I continued to suckle her like a madman.

"You are so delicious, baby doll. I won't ever get enough." She crushed her lips to mine again.

After a few minutes, I broke our kiss so that I could take my clothes off. Mia did the honor of removing my boxers. Then, she stared at me while she slowly stroked my c**k.

"Lie back down on the floor, Ethan." I did as I was f*****g told because I was hers to command. She went over to the closet and grabbed something out of her purse. My eyes bugged out when I saw what she was holding.

She saw me gawking and winked. "I have been carrying these with me since that night. I was hoping I would get a repeat performance." In her hands were those f*****g fuzzy handcuffs that we used the night she gave me a lapdance. If possible, my already engorged c**k got even larger.

My baby doll sat down on the floor again. "Sit up so I can put these on, and then lie back down."

I followed her orders. I felt the cuffs go around my wrists as she licked the back of my neck. I shivered from the sensation. When she finished, she came back around and straddled my hips.

"Time for your punishment, big boy. I'm only doing it because I love you." God, I f*****g loved it when my little tigress came out to play. I wanted to touch her but she was in control, so I let her do what she pleased.

She trailed kisses down my chest until she reached my abdomen. I felt her tongue lick the V of my hips. I moaned out loud. "f**k, you're going to kill me."

She didn't stop until her tongue made contact with my shaft. She sucked me down her throat like I was her life's sustenance. I struggled to hold on as she obliterated my senses.

Suddenly, she stopped and crawled back up my body. I looked down to see her core leaking wetness. There was a contented smile on her mouth. She was looking directly into my eyes as she licked her lips. She put her hand on my throbbing c**k and stroked me softly. I dropped my head back on the rug. I was humping thin air in an attempt to get my d**k in the right place.

Wet heat surrounded my c**k as I felt Mia's honeyed center sliding down. She wouldn't put it in, just kept sliding over me, making my c**k brush against her p***y. Her hands were flat on my chest. I watched how her beautiful hair swirled around her body as she kept up her glorious torture. If she kept moving, I was going to f*****g explode.

"f**k! f**k! Please… please… babydoll. I need you to put my c**k inside of you."

Her eyes had been closed but now she opened them wide and a low moan came out of her throat. She had reached her orgasm and was panting hard. Her nails clawed into my chest as she crested.

When she could move again, she took my c**k and carefully guided it to her entrance. She took me in a little at a time. She would lower herself and then rise up a little until she got used to the size. Both our breaths were coming in short gasps. My handcuffed hands were digging into the carpet. I wanted to slam into her so f*****g badly.

Finally, my d**k was full encased in her warmth. She was just as tight and hot as I remembered. She leaned down and kissed me. Her n*****s were pressed hard against my chest. I kissed her around her mouth until I reached her neck. I was gentle because she was still bruised from our last session.

"I love you, Ethan." Those sweet words that I thought I would never hear.

I thrust into her and she whined loudly. Because of her earlier revelation, I was no longer afraid of hurting her. She sat up and started riding my c**k. I licked my lips so that I could savor her taste. She went slowly at first, but then she started getting into it. She rode me with abandon. Her eyes were closed again and she was humming. The only sound that could be heard was our sweaty bodies slapping together - this is what I craved. I wasn't Ethan Sodero; I wasn't a f*****g mobster. I was just a man making love to his woman.

My throbbing c**k was stretching my babydoll to the hilt, making her cry out with every stroke. She maneuvered her body so that her hands were on either side of my head and continued to ride me hard. I met her thrust for thrust. She opened her eyes and looked me deep in the eyes. I gazed at her, hoping she could see that my soul belonged to her now.

She screamed, crushing her lips to mine. Her walls clenched and my c**k exploded. I came so hard that I could only see flickering colors. Her body crushed mine as we laid there trying to catch our breath. My wrists would be f*****g sore later, but at that time, I couldn't feel them. The only thing I could feel was my d**k still buried deep in her sweet p***y. I would never move again if it meant I could stay in this blissful state forever.

Mia kissed the base of my throat, causing my pulse to speed up. All I could smell was strawberries. We stayed like that for a long time. I had almost fallen asleep when she stirred and reached down to disconnect us. I groaned at the feel of the cool air on my c**k. I wanted to be back inside of her. She pulled me up to remove the handcuffs, her smooth lips ghosting over my hands.

"Are you okay? Your wrists are a little red." I pulled my hands in front of me and worked out the kinks. I twisted a finger in a tendril of her hair, pulling her closer.

"I love you."

She f*****g blushed. "I love you, too."

We sat there with cheesy grins on our faces, just touching each other.

Eventually, I managed to stand and lead her over to the bed. I flexed my back to get some circulation flowing. We crawled in, and her head immediately went to my chest again. She played with my n*****s a little before her hand stilled over my heart.

Her breaths were coming slowly and regularly, so I knew she had fallen asleep. I looked down at my angel, and a warm feeling spread through my entire body. I stroked her hair and kissed her forehead, reveling in the feeling of being loved. Hearing her mumble in her sleep made me f*****g buoyant. She said my favorite words as I found my slumber.

We spent the rest of the afternoon in bed exploring each others bodies. We licked and stroked every inch of skin between us. Our breathless moans became one. Our hearts beat together. I plunged into Mia and she cried out. She scratched her nails down my back as I thrust inside of her over and over again.

"More," she moaned. I complied by putting her legs over my shoulder and embedding my d**k in her wetness. Her walls clenched as she came. I pounded into her while she had another orgasm before reaching my release.

Slowly, we kissed while still moving our joined hips. I lowered her legs and settled them on my hips. My c**k started to harden again. Lazily, we rode each other to another climax.

As we kissed, my baby doll harshly tugged my hair. I would've probably had a headache because of the strength she was using, but I couldn't stop her. We bruised each others lips with the force; neither one of us could get enough. We were no longer making love. We had ascended to a higher plane where our souls danced together. I couldn't tell where she ended and I began. We were one f*****g being. We were equals in our love and need for one another.

When I couldn't take any more rapture, I reached down and removed my d**k from Mia. She whimpered with the loss. I immediately kissed her.

Then, I got up to use the intercom. I ordered Marcello to have the maid deliver a tray of food and leave it outside of our door. I told him that he and Tazia could leave after that. He had a slight chuckle in his voice, which I was sure was because he heard us. We had made so much goddamned noise that we could probably be heard in Milan. Smirking, I turned around to ask Mia what she wanted to eat.

"I want a big bowl of spaghetti bolognaise, salad, and garlic bread." I ordered the same with a few added extras. After that, I went into the adjoining room, which had a bar with a mini fridge, and grabbed two Godiva bars.

My babydoll's eyes lit up when she saw what I was carrying. I held them both behind my back. She pouted and held out her hand. "Gimmie one, Ethan."

I teased her for a few minutes before opening it and putting a piece of it into her mouth. She let out a guttural moan when the chocolate hit her tongue. "Yum, that tastes almost as good as you do." My c**k jumped in response. I looked down at it.

"Down boy, no fraternizing with the enemy. She's trying to kill us." Mia laughed and took another bite. She was so hungry that she ate her whole bar and half of mine.

"Greedy little minx," I said, tickling her sides. She stuck her tongue out and I claimed it. We kissed for a minute before she pushed me away.

"Ethan, I can't take anymore either. I'm not even sure I can walk."

I smirked and started whistling. She slapped me on the chest while mumbling, "cocky prick".

Mia wanted to watch a movie, so I turned on the mounted television and gave her the remote so that she could choose. I couldn't tell what we were watching because I was sucking on her t**s the whole time. After awhile, she got tired of fighting me off and went to put on a t-shirt. I scowled at her before going to the dresser to get a pair of boxers.

When I got back to bed, she took my head in her hands. "Later, Ethan. We have all the time in the world." I kissed her cheek before snuggling in to watch TV.

Soon, there was a knock on the door letting us know dinner was ready. I went out to the hallway and rolled in the cart. There was a reclining couch with a coffee table in front at the back of the room. Mia came over to help me set the food up. We pulled out couch cushions and sat on the floor to eat. We were both f*****g starving, so everything tasted extra good.