Moth to Flame

CHAPTER 3

Mia

Something was seriously wrong with me. I felt like there was something inside my body, and it was growing every day. If I hadn’t been a virgin, I might have thought I was pregnant. I hadn't been keeping any food down, my hormones were all over the place, and I felt like crying all the time. I was restless and sleep evaded me even more so than usual. My heart physically hurt. I felt like I could barely breathe. It had gotten so bad yesterday that I’d considered going to see my doctor.

The truth was I knew what was wrong with me. I knew no pill or medical procedure could fix it. I was in love with Ethan Sodero - love was not a strong enough word. I craved him. I felt so stupid, because I didn't know him. Plus, he was going to be my future boss. I knew I was supposed to keep work and my personal life separate, but I didn't think I would be able to do that with Ethan.

It had only been two days since I’d met him, and he had already consumed my soul. I was trying to survive until my first day of work on Friday. Not seeing him was killing me.

I suspected Wyatt knew something was wrong with me, too. He hadn't been teasing me and made sure not to upset me. I thought maybe he was still freaked out about how I had yelled at him in Ethan's office. I had demanded Wyatt let me take the job, even though he thought the place of employment was too risqué for me. He knew I was stubborn, but I usually didn't go against him on major decisions.

The job offer surprised me, too. I’d walked into Ethan's office, and it was like Wyatt disappeared. It was only Ethan and me. His stare had been so piercing. I felt like he was trying to read my soul.

Of course, my body had betrayed me, and all I could do was blush like an i***t. He’d probably thought I had Rosacea or something. I was really shocked when Ethan offered me the position in the first place.

During our first encounter in the waiting area, I had gotten the impression that he hated me. I was not going to lie, the thought of Ethan Sodero hating me hurt me somewhere deep down. I had been sitting in that waiting room holding back tears because of the way he had snapped at me. I was usually not sensitive to what people said about me or to me, but I wanted Ethan to like me.

Then, Wyatt had come out and told me Ethan had a job opening he'd like me to take. The next thing I’d remembered was sitting in Ethan's office and accepting the job as private secretary to the sexiest man I had ever laid eyes on.

I believed Ethan just really wanted Wyatt to work at the club, and he only decided to hire me to make sure Wyatt took the job. Whatever the reason had been for his decision, I was grateful. I had not been looking forward to going to multiple interviews and waiting around to be called. Plus, I knew I could do the job. I'd spent a few summers and breaks working as an office assistant in the Main Library.

I didn't know the payroll well, but I was sure I could quickly pick up the basics. Also, the job at HADES had a very good starting salary and benefits. It would be nice to start building a nest egg now, so I would be self-sufficient when Wyatt decided to marry and start a family. I had always felt so guilty because I was his burden, and I wasn't even his blood relative.

After we’d agreed to Ethan's joint job offers, Wyatt and I walked to the garage and got into the Range Rover. The atmosphere between us had changed. We hadn’t talked the whole car ride, and we hadn't really talked since that day.

Wyatt had been staying out really late at night and came back looking stressed. I made sure he ate before he left every night, but I was still worried for him. This morning, Ethan had sent Frank over to give Wyatt a ride to the airport, so he could catch a flight to Chicago to meet some investors who had an interest in the club. Of course, Wyatt being Wyatt, he initially protested. He eventually acquiesced, though.

I knew the real reason he had been pissed was because he didn't want to leave me alone on such short notice. Frank had assured him that he would stay over with me and make sure I was safe. My brother seemed to trust Frank. Once I told him that I had no problem with Frank staying over, he had gone on the trip.

Frank was still out on an errand, but he had made me promise I would stay in and keep all my doors locked. I’d told him I was a big girl and could stay out of trouble without his help. Oddly, even though Frank was a huge guy, he had a somewhat calming demeanor. He rarely spoke, but he watched everything. I noticed that trait in him when he had first led Wyatt and I into the waiting area. I could see why he was Ethan's head of security.

I wondered what Ethan thought of Frank "babysitting" me? Had it been his idea in the first place?

Yeah right, as if Ethan Sodero would be concerned about me - his mousy, future secretary to be.

He may not have thought about me, but I sure thought about him all day and night. Every time I imagined him and those eyes, I would get wet. I'd never had erotic fantasies and dreams before, but ever since I’d met Ethan, I'd been having them nonstop. My ultimate solace, which was reading, couldn't even ease my mind.

Last night, I’d lied in bed for hours touching my breasts and nether regions while imagining my hands were Ethan’s. During one particularly hot fantasy, I’d imagined Ethan's lips and fingers between my legs. My body shook as I came so hard I nearly blacked out. If imaginary s*x with Ethan was that great, what was I going to do if the real thing happened? Not that I suspected it would ever happen.

For Christ's sake, Ethan has never even physically touched me.

Truthfully, I didn't know how I was going to handle being so close to Ethan and not be able to pounce on him. I wasn't stupid. I knew guys like Ethan dated hot model types with a lot of s****l experience. I was hardly the model type, and, of course, I am a virgin. There was no chance in hell he was going to reciprocate my feelings.

Still, a girl can dream, right?

The other day, I’d Googled club HADES, and I was shocked. Some of the things reviewers posted about what went on inside the club were truly astonishing. It was a huge moneymaker, though, and quite popular with a lot of different types of people. There were private areas for the wealthy, but there were also general dance areas for the public. I was also surprised one of the floors was a strip club. Fortunately, Ethan had said that I would only be working on the private eighth-floor.

Since Frank was likely to be gone a couple of hours, I planned to start making dinner. Frank struck me as the type of man who would appreciate a good meal. Last year, one of my girlfriends had given me a kitchen rotisserie cooker, so I decided to make my famous lemon and pepper baked chicken. I was going to add fresh cooked green beans with almonds and potato au gratin to the menu as sides. Lastly, I had my fresh baked buttermilk cornbread, which I was sure would win Frank over for life. I loved to cook, and it has always helped to ease my mind.

My father, Mitch, had been so bad at cooking that Wyatt and I made a ‘No Dads Allowed’ sign for our kitchen door. My father died of a heart attack when I was sixteen. He had been Chief of Police in a small town named Sequim.

Wyatt had graduated from college that same year and came home to raise me. I knew he’d had job offers here in Seattle, but he'd taken a warehouse supervisor job in Sequim, so I wouldn't have to be moved out of school and uprooted from the only home I'd ever known. The house had been paid for, but Wyatt had had to pay the utility bills and buy everything. He had never let me work during high school, insisting I focus on my grades. Thankfully, my father had a small life insurance policy which gave us just enough for me to attend college and have a small savings. Dad had been sick his last few months, so a lot of the assets he had had gone towards medical bills.

Unlike my dad, my mom was a free spirit. She had always been learning some ancient new healing practice or taking art classes. She was beautiful, and most people couldn't help but like her. She was the total opposite of me and Mitch. Where we were generally reserved and passive, my mom had been loud and eager to experience everything. She used to take me down to the beach. The beach had always been freezing or too windy.

I remembered my third birthday. My mom had compiled a list of stories she'd heard and typed them out. She’d made a book out of the pages and some old worn leather. She had even drawn pictures to go along with the words. I hadn’t been able to read yet, but she would read it to me every night and show me the pictures. Her book was my most valuable possession.

I'd never been big on material things, but I loved simple and sentimental gifts. The fact that I hated designer labels and expensive gifts bugged Wyatt. He liked name brands and tried to spoil me. Over the years, he'd learned I was not that kind of girl, so he would keep his gifts pretty simple.

On my seventeenth birthday, he had actually given me a Tiffany's locket. The minute I had seen the blue box, I screeched and told him to take it back. After much arguing, he returned the gift and came home with a box from a local thrift store. Inside the box had been a silver chain with a silver angel hanging from it. The angel's eyes had been my birthstone. I’d teared up and let Wyatt put the necklace on me. I never took it off unless I was showering.

My mom died when I was four, before Wyatt had come to live with us. Mom had perished around three o’clock in the morning at an intersection in Sequim. Mitch and I had been asleep. My mom, forever the restless soul, had decided she wanted to go for a drive. A drunk driver had sped through a stop sign at an intersection. She’d been killed instantly on impact.

I still remember my father's face when he’d left the house after he got the distress call. For the rest of his life, he had blamed himself for not waking up and stopping her from going out so late. My dad had died the day my mother died. He’d been physically there but never emotionally. I hadn't been hugged in years until Wyatt came to live with us. My father had seemed to sense Wyatt and I shared a bond, so he’d become even more emotionally unattached.

Pulling myself out of the painful memories, I got back to the task at hand. Just as I was putting the cornbread in the oven to bake, I heard my doorbell ring. Thinking it was probably Frank coming back to check up on me, I rushed to the door.

I had been in the kitchen for hours, so I was sweating and had my hair up in a loose ponytail. I also had on some black yoga pants and my old faded UW sweatshirt. The weather forecast had called for severe thunderstorms and lightning this evening, so I doubted I would be going anywhere. I didn't even look in the peephole before I opened the door.

OH. MY. GOD.

There on my porch was Ethan Sodero himself. I couldn't even speak, because I was sure I had dozed off and this was one of my fantasies. He looked just as handsome as I remembered, maybe even more so.

"Are you just going to f*****g stand there with your mouth hanging open, or are you going to let me in?" Ethan asked, pulling me out of my reverie. Looking at Ethan was always great until he opened his mouth.

"Um, oh yeah, Eth-, I mean Mr. Sodero. Please come in." Great, he just got here, and already I'm stammering like an i***t.

I led Ethan through the foyer, embarrassed about him seeing our apartment. It was cozy and some of the furniture was new, but it wasn't fancy. Ethan's office was expensive and sophisticated, so I was sure he was used to more elegant surroundings.

When I turned around, Ethan was staring at me intently. I groaned as I looked down at myself. My clothes were pretty old and covered in everything from flour to chicken grease. My feet were in white fuzzy socks, and my hair was a disaster. As if that wasn't bad enough, I could feel my face was on fire. I mentally groaned thinking of the image I must have portrayed.

Ethan was just standing there with a small smirk on his lips just watching me.

"Mr. Sodero, may I ask why you are here? Not that it's a problem, but I was expecting Frank instead."

He walked over and sat on Wyatt's overstuffed leather recliner. My nerves were all over the place, so I continued to stand.

"I'm so damn sorry to intrude, Mia. I thought that since Wyatt is out of town, and you don't start until Friday, we could go over some of the business procedure s**t you will need to know. Hopefully, you're not like the last motherfucking cunt who worked for me. She had spent most of her time filing her nails and using petty cash to buy personal s**t. She was a great f**k, though," Ethan said, winking at me.

He didn't just tell me he slept with his last secretary, did he? His words made me feel small and insecure.

Thinking of Ethan being intimate with another woman caused a hole to grow in my chest. His last secretary had probably been some big-breasted, blonde baddie. Now he had just plain, petite Mia coming to work for him. He had to be disappointed, but that was probably why he’d hired me. He wanted a safe girl he felt no attraction to, so the actual job would get done. I wrapped my arms around my body to hold myself together. Ethan's words had broke me.

"Mia, you look to be deep in thought over there. Are you picturing me and my last secretary f*****g on my desk? To help you with your visuals, I'll tell you she was a strawberry blonde and leggy with the best pair of fake t**s money can buy. She didn't get much work done, but she made me happy. I had to relocate her because she started getting too clingy, always trying to stay on my d**k. I don't like that s**t. I can tell that won't be a problem with you, though. I can guarantee I'd never f**k you on my desk or anywhere else for that matter."

Ethan's words made me angry, but they hurt, too. I knew he'd never be interested in someone like me, but it felt worse to hear the confirmation coming out of his mouth. I felt some traitor tears leaking out of my eyes as I tried to brush them away from my cheeks. I would not give Ethan the satisfaction of seeing me fall apart. Although, my very soul ached to know he was lost to me forever.

He just continued to lean back in the chair with a relaxed look on his face while I was rooted to the spot. I knew if I moved an inch, I was going to start sobbing. Damn him for making me feel so sad and small. As if my humiliation wasn't deep enough, my body betrayed me and had a natural response to Ethan. I was tingling all over, craving his touch even as his words slashed my heart.

When I glanced over at him, I noticed what he was wearing for the first time. He had on a pair of dark wash designer jeans, a sky blue button-down, and a navy leather jacket. Even though he was being an asshole, he still looked gorgeous and completely at home. I was falling apart. I could feel the strange electricity sparking all over my skin.

Gathering all the reserve I had, I went over and sat down on the couch across from Ethan. "Enough, Mr. Sodero. You are going to be my boss in two days. If you want our working relationship to go smoothly, I suggest you learn to speak to me with some respect."

Wow. I couldn't believe I’d gotten that all out without breaking down.

Ethan just continued looking at me, and then he smiled. A moment later, he started laughing.

"What is so funny, Mr. Sodero?" I asked, genuinely pissed at him for being such an asshole.

He stopped laughing to look at me again. "Nothing, tigress. It's just that you looked like you really wanted to punch me in the face or some s**t. There are few men who would have stood up to me like you just did. You're either extremely stupid or extremely naïve."

At those words, I turned to go back to the kitchen. I refused to sit there and have an inane conversation with Ethan. In fact, I didn't think I could bear to see Mr. Arrogant every day after all. I steeled myself for what I was going to say next.

I faced Ethan. "Mr. Sodero, I can see that we are not going to suit. I was hasty in accepting your offer of employment. I would like to rescind the agreement right now. I would also like you to leave my house immediately. We have no further business between us." I hadn't signed any of the salary or insurance forms, so I knew it wouldn't be a problem for Ethan to get someone else for the job.

I heard a snarl vibrate through the living room. Before I could think, Ethan was up off the recliner and gripping my upper arm while shaking me. "You little, goddamned i***t! You think you can f*****g agree to work for me and then decline because I say something you don't like? You already said yes. If you don't work for me, then neither does your precious brother. Do you understand, Mia?"

He had practically spat my name like it was the vilest word he knew. I was all out crying now because Ethan had yelled at me, and he was squeezing my upper arms pretty hard.

"Please, Ethan," I choked out between sobs. "Don't fire Wyatt. Please just let go of my arm."

I was still whimpering while Ethan continued to hold onto me. We were only about three inches from each other, and I could feel his body heat. I was scared, but the electricity I felt when I was near Ethan went haywire. Even though he was not touching me in a soothing way, my body responded to him.

I looked up to see him gazing down at me with a look of mortification on his face. His eyes were no longer feral like they had been when he grabbed me. He looked scared, which couldn't be right. Why would he be scared?

As I was pondering this, I felt Ethan let go of my arm. He leaned forward. Before I knew what was happening, he gently lifted me into his arms and headed for the kitchen. His steps were sure and precise. My weight seemed to be nothing at all for him to carry. I was about to ask him what he was doing when he walked over to the refrigerator. He reached into the freezer and pulled out an ice pack.

Ethan picked up a towel and took it and the ice over to the table. "Please take your shirt off, Mia. I'm going to put some ice on your arm where I grabbed you."

I started to refuse. The minute I looked in Ethan's eyes, my protest died. He looked so lost and ashamed, so there was no way I was going to refuse his request. If Ethan Sodero wanted to make amends, by god I was going to let him. Besides, I had on a blue camisole with a built-in bra underneath my sweatshirt. It was not like I would be indecent.

I took off my sweatshirt. Ethan stared at me for a minute. He was looking at my breasts, probably thinking of how small they were. Great, one more strike against me. Ethan picked up the pack and wrapped it in a light towel, so it wouldn't be too cold on my skin. Thankfully, the kitchen was still warm and cozy.

"Come here and let me see your arm, sweetheart," Ethan cooed, looking at me with a shameful expression on his face.

I stood up to take the chair next to him, but he pulled me down on his lap instead. Ethan Sodero's lap was definitely not a safe place for me to be. My body went up in flames. I could smell his delicious scent and see every detail of his face. He was gorgeous, but there was something off about his eyes. They were a little bloodshot, like he'd been drinking heavily. I didn't smell any liquor on his breath, though.

"I'm so f*****g sorry, Mia. I'm such a damned asshole. I barged into your house. I spoke to you like a damn savage. When you stood up for yourself, I hurt you. Wyatt's job is safe, and yours, too, if you still even want it. Please don't be scared of me. I promise I will never hurt you again."

Ethan was rocking gently as he said it. His apology reassured me somewhat. I could tell he was not the kind of man who often apologized, so his words must have been sincere.

I saw Ethan look down at my arm. He winced when he saw it. I heard him let out an audible sigh. I followed his gaze to my skin. There was a large purple bruise in the shape of a hand on my upper arm. I was so damned pale I bruised easily, so I'd had worse.

"I'm a f*****g monster. I f*****g hurt you and left a mark on your skin. I can understand if you want me to leave and if you don't want to work for me anymore. You shouldn't let me near you. If you want to call Wyatt right now, I can give you the number to the home he's staying at. I fully expect him to kick my ass after you tell him what just happened, and I deserve a f*****g beatdown for putting hands on you. My mother raised me better than that. I'd kill any motherfucker who bruised my mom or sister. I'm sure Wyatt is the same way. I'm so sorry, Mia." He finished his apology with his head hanging down, staring at the floor.

I was stunned and completely flabbergasted. I was sitting in my kitchen with my ratty clothes on while Ethan tended to me. He was also rubbing small circles on my back, leaving a trail of fire everywhere he touched. I was pretty sure he didn't even know he was still touching me. I wanted to stand up and get off his lap, but I couldn't bring myself to move.

Ethan's body was solid and felt strong. I leaned back a little to settle more into his chest. This must have been what heaven felt like, because I had never felt anything better.

"Say something, Mia. Please, baby doll. I know you can't forgive me, but let me know whether you're alright."

Wow. Ethan Sodero just called me baby doll. He said a whole sentence to me without cursing, too.

"I'm okay, Mr. Sodero. I'm not scared of you, and my arm is really not that bad. I accept your apology and suggest we put this incident behind us. Besides, I'm kind of clumsy anyway, so I've had plenty of scrapes and bruises over the years," I said while smiling and trying to get him to look up at me.