My AI Romance

Episode 4

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This week became a very busy week because of the consecutive exams and requirement in almost every subject. I engaged myself in getting grades higher than my previous.

Hindi ko lang maiwasang umasa.

I keep on praying to get the highest award in our graduation so my mom will come back here to praise me. But I guess, it's very impossible now that Nikkolas almost excels in everything.

I'm at this point where I really want to voice what I know but there's something that stopped me from doing it. Nikkolas should not be competing with human like us. Kahit saang anggulo mo kasi tingnan, sobrang unfair na nakikisalamuha siya sa amin.

He has no flaws. He's built to be perfect.

"Hershey..."

I'm busy eating here in the cafeteria when someone sat beside me. I took a glance at once only to know who's it. It was my cousin, Primo.

"You want my help? I can write that for you," he jokingly offered.

He's pertaining to the essay that I'm writing. Pinagsasabay ko na kasi ang pagkain at paggawa nito para wala na akong gagawin mamaya. Anyway, tapos na rin naman ako. I'm just rewriting it para maipasa ko na kaagad bukas.

"No thanks. Papanget ang sulat," sagot ko na siyang mahinang ikinatawa niya.

"Sabi ko nga," umiiling na sambit niya.

Sumabay siya sa akin sa pagkain habang patuloy ako sa ginagawa ko.

We're already in grade 12 pero yung sulat niya para pa ring kinahig ng manok. Even him, he can't understand his own handwriting too.

He became silent at akala ko aalis na siya sa tabi ko kasi tinawag siya nina Drio but he chose to stay.

"I just want to ask something."

Napaangat ako ng tingin.

"Ano?" tanong ko bago ibinalik ang tingin sa ginagawa.

"Is that nerd courting you? Nikkolas Walter?"

I permanently stopped writing and faced him. Pati ba naman siya? Who the hell spread that rumors?

"It's Nikkolas Parker, Primo," pagtatama ko.

Medyo nainis tuloy ako ngayong araw na 'to. Yes, I somewhat like Nikkolas kaya ko siguro nararamdaman ito. I hate the fact that I fell inlove with him. I fell inlove with a robot and it's too impossible for him to felt the same way because he has no feelings.

Kahit pa yata humiling ako sa napakaraming santo ay hindi magiging posible ang mga hinihiling ko.

"Do you like him?" he asked once again.

I wonder why he's interested about it. He should be hanging out with Meiko and Drio not interrogating me by these kind of questions.

"I am not kuya Primo. Stop asking okay? Hindi ako matapos tapos sa ginagawa ko," I annoyingly answered at mabuti na lang tumigil na s'ya sa pagtatanong.

"Alright then. That's good to hear. Just tell me first if someone is trying to court you and I'll give him a punch right away," dugtong niya pa bago ginulo ang buhok ko.

We don't usually talk at school. I already told him na ayokong lumalapit siya sa akin kasi mas gusto kong mapag isa. I only let him talk to me unless it's something urgent. Nakakainis lang kasi kinausap n'ya ako ngayon para sa isang walang makabuluhang bagay.

It's been two days since Nikkolas and I talked. I should be happy now because he followed what I said the other day. But there are some part of me missing his voice and the feeling whenever he's around me. There are some part of me wishing that he is a real human.

Maski ako, nahihirapan na ring intindihin yung sarili ko.

The stressful exams ended. I was heading my way home only if Eleonora didn't blocked my way. A wide smile plastered on her lips while looking at me.

"I guess you're free today? Can I invite you for a lunch then?"

I was about to tell her any reasons that popped up in my mind but she holds my hand right away as if we're really close.

"You know how much I hate rejections. Don't worry, it's my treat," she added with bourgeoning excitement.

Gusto ko pa naman sanang matulog ngayon kasi sobrang pagod ng katawan ko. But here I am now in an unfamiliar restaurant with her, trying to enjoy her company.

"What do you want? I'll pay everything," she said while grinning.

I used to be a ghost because no one can ever see my existence. Hindi ko tuloy maiwasang manibago. I suddenly felt like she had other intentions for approaching me.

"Kahit ano na lang," naiinip na sagot ko.

This is the first time I went here. Eating expensive food or going to any fancy restaurant is not my thing. I am not like her na nagagawa lahat ng gusto n'yang gawin. I'm not like her na hindi mahilig sa mga cheap na pagkain. That's why I think na hindi talaga kami magkakasundo kasi sobrang magkaiba kami sa isa't isa.

I am too way far from her. Masyado siyang mataas kumpara sa akin.

Muli akong nakaramdam ng pagkainip habang kasama ko siya kaya hindi ko na napigilan pa ang sarili kong magsalita.

"Why are you talking to me all of a sudden? Sorry for the question. I just think that I don't deserve this kind of treatment from you because we're never been close."

She suddenly laugh upon hearing my sentiments.

I want to say everything straight to the point. Ayoko ng magpaligoy ligoy pa. I have this type of personality kasi pakiramdam ko, may past ako na hindi ko na maalala. I felt like I have a trauma in trusting people that's why I always make sure that I always know their real intensions from me.

"I'll go straight to the point too, Hershey. I saw you with Nikkolas. He treated you differently the way he treated me. It seems like you're very close. That's why I want to be friends with you. I want to be near him. The truth is, I really like him a lot," she confessed.

I don't know why at this point, I felt pity on her because we're on the same situation. I like Nikkolas too. I won't deny it. Now that I already know the truth, I don't understand why my feelings for him never change. It was still him that I like.

"I'm sorry Eleonora. I can't help you with him. Just a piece of advice... you're pretty and rich, I think you deserve better than him."

Bakas sa mukha niya ang pagkadismaya matapos ng lahat ng sinabi ko. I really want to tell her the truth but I have to keep my promise to Mr. Parker. Besides, I owe Nikkolas my life. He saved me the last time I was in danger kaya hindi maaatim ng kunsesya ko na ipagkalat 'yong napakabigat niyang sikreto.

Eleonora and I's conversation didn't end good. Ramdam ko iyon sa paraan ng pakikitungo niya sa akin matapos kong sabihin na hindi ko siya matutulungan kay Nikkolas. I guess, my instinct was right. She's not really serious in being friends with me. The truth is, she only want to use me for the sake of her own good.

Hindi naman ako nanghihinayang n'ong sinabi niya sa aking gusto niyang makipagkaibigan. Hindi ko lang maiwasang mapaisip.

I wonder how does it feel when you have friends that care for you not because they needed something from you.

It was already 4 pm. I rode the jeepney at 2:30 and I realized that I am almost sitting here for 1 hour and 30 minutes. Nagdecide ako na bumaba na lang dahil sa sobrang traffic. Besides, hindi na rin naman masyadong malayo yung lalakarin ko. I was walking along the park when my phone vibrated.

Vien:

Sorry if I told it too late, sis. I saw your mom. Did you already know about this?

She sent a photo to me. At first, I don't want to believe at it until I felt something hot in my cheeks. I immediately look for a bench where I could sit because I felt like I'm gonna loose my balance.

Vien is my friend that I met online. She's living in Canada where my mom worked. Luckily, she's seeing my mom there that's why I was able to know if she's really okay or not. But I guess, she's actually happy there. Vien sent a photo of her being pregnant.

Mom didn't tell me about this. Is that the reason why she can't come here? Because she's already happy with someone else? Did she already had a family there?

I don't care if people will see me crying here anymore. I just hate myself kasi buong akala ko sanay na akong mag isa. I thought I can handle everything all by myself. But I guess, I was so damn wrong. I still needed someone to be with me whenever I am in a situation like this. I still needed someone who can handle me everytime that I'm in my worst.

My vision becames blurry because of the tears in my eyes kaya't mabilis ko iyong pinahid. I saw a familiar body nang luminaw na yung paningin ko. Nag angat ako ng tingin. It was unexpected seeing Nikkolas again standing infront of me.

What is he doing here?

"How are you feeling?" he asked. I don't know why I didn't get insulted about his question. If I am a different person, I will get mad because he's asking about the thing that is really obvious.

I am crying because I am not okay.

Sa halip na mainis, napangiti ako sa tanong niya. Is this how it feels when someone asked and care about my feelings? Kahit pala papaano, nakakagaan din ng pakiramdam kapag may nagtanong sayo kung okay ka lang ba kahit na hindi at kung kamusta ang pakiramdam mo kahit na hindi ka naman masaya.

Thanks to this robot. I somewhat felt that someone truly cares for me.

Maya maya, nagulat ako ng hawakan n'ya yung kamay ko.

"You're sad because of your mom. You're crying because you felt like you're going to be alone now," mabilis kong hinigit yung kamay ko wala mula sa kanya.

What the hell? Why did he know all of that all of a sudden?

"A-Anong ginawa mo?" naguguluhan kong tanong.

"I just get the data in your mind. By holding someone's hand, I was able to know what they're thinking, their thoughts and their feelings."

Napanganga ako dahil sa sinabi n'ya. Holy mother of the cockroaches! I really salute Mr. Parker for inventing this kind of high class robot.

"Your mom loves you. I am sure of that," nawala ang pagkamangha ko dahil sa sunod niyang sinabi.

I suddenly realize that not all data he's getting is accurate. I felt a group of tears at the side of my eyes forming again.

Did mom really loves me? Why do I feel that I'm all alone now?

Hindi ko na napigilan pa yung pagpatak ng mga luha ko. Unti unting bumibigat yung talukap ng mga mata ko. Due to feeling stress and exhausted, my body gave up. Before my body fell, someone catched me. It was Nikkolas that I saw before everything went dark.

When I woke up the next day, I'm already in my room. I have no idea on what happened yesterday. Due to curiousness, I immediately get my journal to see if I have something written on it.

I was very surprised when I saw a message with an unfamiliar handwriting.

The moment I held your hand, I felt different. You're wrong when you told me that I am a robot with no feelings. The truth is, I already had. I am sad when you're sad. I am happy seeing you smile. And I feel hurt the moment I saw you cry.

Hindi ko maiwasang maguluhan nang mabasa ko iyon. I am a hundred percent sure that I didn't write it.

I tried to read the sentences twice before I realized something.

Why am I with Nikkolas yesterday. What actually happened?

I don't have lots of loads to do the next day that's why I went to see Mr. Parker. I have so many questions that I need to ask about Nikkolas. This is something that bothers me and I really need answers about it right away. Hindi ako matatahimik hangga't hindi ko nalalaman yung sagot.

I am here in his mansion again. The place is very wide. I think it's five times larger than the house where I am staying. It's not impossible na maligaw ako dito dahil sa sobrang lawak.

"Have a seat. Do you want something to eat? I'll prepare it for you," he offered but I refused. There's something that I noticed here. Mr. Parker is living in a wide mansion but I didn't saw any maids here aside from his driver. I wonder what is the reason behind it.

"What is it that you want to know about my son? I can't see any other reasons that brought you here aside from it," he formally exclaimed.

Son

He considered that robot as his son.

I cleared my throat because I can't hide the nervousness that I feel whenever I'm infront of him.

I started telling him the unusual actions of Nikkolas after the day he saved me. I really want him to return on his old away. I just want to save myself for the possible consequences that might happen if I let him stay beside me.

These past few days, I've been receiving lots of deadly stares, emails and messages from unknown persons asking why the hell I am sticking with Nikkolas. I am not used to having life with lots of issues. I just prefer to be silent and alone and far away from the other people. I always hate to be the center of their attention.

"I didn't see any malfunctions in his system but I'll check it again and try to fix it as soon as possible. I'm sorry for the trouble, Ms. Levithan," our small talk ended. Hindi ko mainitindihan ang sarili ko pero may napapansin talaga akong kakaiba kay Mr. Parker. I wonder if he's hiding something or what. I know that there's something wrong here at gustong gusto ko na talagang malaman kung ano iyon.

Curiousity is slowly eating my whole system and I really hate it because I don't want to meddle in anyone's life.

The moment I went to school the next day, I never thought that what will happen became worst. From the deadly stares I received the other day, I often heard them saying painful things to me. Wherever I go, they keep on throwing me hurtful words which I decided to just ignore.

They keep on saying that I'm a hoe who keeps on pushing myself to Nikkolas even if our world are far away from each other. I pretended that I didn't hear any single word even if it became a distractions in what I am doing.

The good thing is, Primo texted me that he's not feeling well so he will not be able to see me at school. Mas maganda na din 'yon para hindi na s'ya madamay pa sa kung ano man ang nangyayari ngayon dito. I was heading my way to my next class when Meiko and Drio blocked my way.

"Tell me what we need to do to stop them, Hershey. I learned marshall arts so you can count on me here." Drio boast while flexing his muscles. I just shook my head because of what he said.

"Seriously Hershey, we're just here for you whenever you need us. You're like a baby sister to us even if you're always silent. I know that what they are saying were not true." Meiko added. I smiled after hearing their side. I didn't notice that I have the two of them even if we seldom talk.

"No thanks. I'm alright. Just don't tell this to Primo." I replied before proceeding to my next class.

This day became very hard for me. I felt like I exist because almost all of them already knew me. I only realized that I slept for almost three hours here in the library when the librarian tapped my shoulder.

"Iha, magsasarado na ako." aniya. Nilibot ko naman ang tingin ko sa library at napagtanto kong kami na lang palang dalawa ang nandito.

"My apologies, Mrs. Samera." I politely said before getting my shoulder bag. I looked at my wristwatch. It was already 6 pm. Mas maganda na din pala na late akong umalis ng school kasi wala ng masyadong tao sa labas.

Primo's number registered on my phone that's why I answered it.

"Did you miss me?"

Pambungad na tanong niya. He's not lying when he told me that he's not feeling well dahil halata mo naman iyon sa boses nya. Medyo paos kasi ito.

"Are you still sick?" I asked.

"Nah. I already heard your voice so I'm all good."

"Okay."

"Are you free this Saturday?"

"Why?"

"Let's go out for a dinner."

"I don't know."

"I'll just fetch you at home. See you, alright? Don't reject me again."

I wasn't able to answer because he hang up the call. What's wrong with him? Why did he invite me for a dinner all of a sudden? Did something came up?

When I'm already infront of our gate, I saw a familiar guy standing beside his car. I wasn't anymore surprise when I saw Nikkolas here. Kaagad kong kinuha ang journal ko sa bag para muling malaman kung ano ang huling nangyari sa'ming dalawa. Hindi naman ako makapaniwala dahil sa nakita ko. He told me that robots has feelings the moment he touched my hand. I know it's so damn impossible! Mababaliw na siguro ako dahil sa mga weird na sinasabi ng lalaking ito.

"What are you doing here?" tanong ko. His arms are crossed while looking at me. Nagulat na lang ako ng bigla n'yang hawakan yung kamay ko.

"You're mad-

I immediately get my hand from him because I'm afraid that he might read what's running on my mind again.

"I wasn't able to talk to you earlier. Is it because you're mad at me?" he seriously uttered. If he's only a human, iisipin ko na baka may gusto na siya sa akin.

Hindi naman sa pagiging assuming. Wala lang talaga akong maisip na rason kung bakit s'ya lumalapit sa akin gan'ong wala naman s'yang ibang makukuha.

I was suddenly hit by the reality again that he's not like us. He's just making my head ache by showing me his unusual actions. Mas lalong sumasakit yung ulo ko.

"I'm tired. Better go home, Nikkolas."

Hindi ko na siya nilingon pa, sa halip pumasok na ako sa loob. When I'm already in my room, I decided to take a shower and changed my clothes. I look at my window only to see if he was still there at tama nga ako.

Mr. Parker might be worried about his robot dahil hindi pa ito umuuwi. I was about to go downstairs and talk to him only if the lights didn't went out. Sa sobrang takot ko, hindi ko maiwasang mapasigaw. I was crying while shouting for help. I have a phobia of staying in the dark eversince. I don't know what's the cause of it.

Later on, I just found myself hugging my own body as my knees collided with the floor.

Napaangat naman ako ng tingin ng biglang may magbukas ng pinto. The little amount of light coming from his flashlight was already enough for me to know who he is.

Mabilis s'yang nakalapit sa akin. Pagkatapos n'on, naramdaman ko na naman ang matinding p*******t ng ulo ko.

I closed my eyes as small details of the past flashed back in my mind. It feels like I am in this scenario several years ago.

Nakarinig ako ng malakas na pagbagsak. I saw myself lying on the floor with rivers of blood on it. Before I totally lost my consciousness, I saw a little boy trying to reach for my hand and everything went dark.

Takot na takot ako ng mag angat ako ng tingin. I can see the details in Nikkolas' face by the small amount of light coming from the flashlight. It feels like he's also scared and worried or maybe because I was just tired that's why I'm seeing it.

"Close your eyes. I won't leave you alone here."

I wasn't able to process what he had said dahil bumibigat na yung talukap ng mga mata ko. I hate to say this but why does it feels like we shared the same dark past years ago?

The next morning, I found myself lying in the hospital bed. I can't clearly remember everything happened yesterday. It was Primo that I saw first when I opened my eyes.

"How are you feeling?" he asked. Nilibot ko ang tingin ko sa paligid habang nagtataka pa din kung bakit ako nandito ngayon.

"F-Fine," I lied.

"You passed out yesterday. Maybe you skipped your meals again kaya bumigay yung katawan mo." he worriedly exclaimed. Was it the real reason why I'm here?

Ramdam kong mas lalo s'yang nag alala ng mapansin ang pananahimik ko.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked once again and I just answered it with a nod.

I stayed in the hospital for two days. There's nothing written on my journal kaya't hindi ko na din natandaan kung ano ang nangyari noong nakaraang araw. Maybe Primo is telling the truth. I passed out because I skipped eating my meals again.

"I'm all good, Primo. No need to take care of me." I said trying to sound alright. I didn't watch his reaction instead, I went on my seat. I look at the door only to see if he's still there. He's watching me pero maya maya ay umalis na din ito sa tapat ng room namin.

After a couple of minutes, Nikkolas enters the door. He's not wearing his eyeglasses now. Before he proceed to his seat, nagulat ako ng tumigil s'ya sa harap ko.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked. Sa halip na sumagot, hindi ko namalayan na nakatitig na pala ako sa kanya.

"Who are you Nikkolas?" I asked out of nowhere. I don't know where that question came from. It feels like my life has been full of mysteries and unanswered questions the moment I met him.

Am I crazy for feeling for this way? Why does I suddenly feel that we already met each other several years ago?