My AI Romance

Episode 14

Forgotten

I waited for Nikkolas when I'm already in school to know if he really forgot me. Hanggang ngayon ay ayaw ko pa ring maniwala. Hindi magsink in sa utak ko yung sinabi ni Mr. Parker. This is what I want pero hindi ko maintindihan yung sarili ko kung bakit nasasaktan ako sa mga nangyari.

Two days without Nikkolas. It feels like God is giving me a sign to start forgetting him. Ito na rin ata yung pagkakataon para sanayin ko yung sarili ko na ibalik yung dating mga araw na hindi naman kami nag uusap.

I just made myself busy for the upcoming exam before the semester ends. After fixing my bag during lunch break, nagdecide ako na magpahinga muna sa pagrereview. I was about to go outside the room when I saw Nikkolas getting inside the room.

My heart is pounding too fast. Like the scenario I am expecting, parang hangin niya lang akong nilampasan. His aura was like the usual Nikkolas I know since before.

"N-Nikkolas," I called. Noong unang pagtawag ko dito ay hindi s'ya lumingon. He just took a glance on me when I called him once again.

I immediately compose a reason about why the hell did I call for him.

"Lunch?" I said while my voice almost c***k.

"Are you inviting me to go with you, Ms. Levithan?"

I guess, Mr. Parker was right. He already deleted all the data installed in Nikkolas. I got teary eyed after hearing his answer. Bago pa man tuluyang tumulo yung mga luha ko ay kaagad na ako tumalikod paalis sa harapan n'ya.

I don't want to see any other students seeing me crying kahit na wala naman silang pakialam sa akin. Mr. Parker just deleted the recent datas installed in that robot.

I don't know if I'll be happy because he still remembers a little detail of me or should I feel the other way around? He's not anymore the Nikkolas who's always following me. The way he talked to me is far different unlike the previous days.

I forced myself not to get distracted by what is happening right now. There are times na halos hindi na ako nakikinig sa subject teacher ko kasi madalas akong napapatingin kay Nikkolas.

This is a bad sign.

Sa halip yata na makalimutan ko s'ya ay mas lalong nahuhulog yung loob ko. I tried to erase those thoughts kahit ngayon, hirap na hirap pa rin ako. I just decided to look at it on the positive side. This is for my own good.

After doing my work in the library, I decided to go home. Pakiramdam ko sobrang napagod ako sa mga nangyari ngayong araw. I am tired not just physically but also mentally and emotionally. Pagkababa ko ng taxi, hindi ko alam kung maniniwala ba ako sa nakikita ko.

I don't know if I'm just tired now that's why I'm seeing her o talagang nandito s'ya sa harap ko ngayon.

"Anak," it was my mom who immediately went to my direction to hug me. I was stuck in my position and still can't believe of what happened.

"Ano pong ginagawa niyo dito?" tanong ko. I was expecting that she will visit me during special occassions pero noong birthday ko, hindi man lang n'ya ako sinipot.

I thought she already forgot me and I wonder what's her purpose on being here with me again. Pumasok kami sa loob at habang kumukuha ako ng maiinom sa kusina, pumatak yung mga luha mula sa mga mata ko.

I immediately wipe it and make sure that I left no traces when I faced my mom again.

Silence ate the whole room before she speaks.

"Anak, I'm sorry," aniya.

Bumaba ang tingin ko sa tyan nya. She's pregnant and I guess the rumor was right. Hindi pa naman gan'on kalaki yung tyan nya pero napansin ko kaagad na may nagbago doon.

I smiled while trying to hide all the pain.

"I understand mom. No need to worry. I have my friends with me during those times that I needed help. Primo is also here with me kaya ayos lang po ako," sagot ko habang pinipilit na ngumiti sa harapan n'ya.

Maya maya ay hindi ko inaasahan ang biglang paghawak n'ya sa kamay ko. I really miss those times that she's here with me. Hindi ko man matandaan lahat pero alam kong nand'yan s'ya para sa akin noon simula ng mawala si daddy.

"W-What about your husband? He doesn't want me to be part of your family right?" my voice cracked.

I am sure about this thing since nahahalata ko naman iyon sa tuwing magkausap kami ni mommy through phone call.

She didn't answer. Tears escaped from her eyes as she holds my hand. I'm afraid of asking her to choose. Dahil alam ko kapag pinapili ko s'ya, masasaktan lang ako sa magiging sagot n'ya.

"It's okay, m-mom. As long as you're happy. Wala naman pong problema sa akin," sambit ko at kaagad na pinunasan yung mga luha mula sa mga mata ko.

"I will stay here in the Philippines with my husband, anak. I promise you na palagi kitang bibisitahin," aniya bago ako niyakap.

It's a good thing na hindi na rin ako naniwala sa mga sinabi n'ya. She told me that will visit me everyday but it didn't happen. Like what I am always doing, pilit ko na lang na inintindi ang lahat. I just wish that she's okay with her new family now. She can be happy without me kaya't siguro panahon na para sanayin ko yung sarili ko sa ganitong set up.

Maybe, it is true that I am born to live my life alone.

Mahapdi ang mga mata ko dahil sa kakaiyak buong gabi. The good thing is, I don't have any friends so there's no reason para mag isip ako ng paliwanag tungkol sa pag iyak ko. There are people who saw me in this kind of situation but no one dared to ask.

No one cares for me.

I just made myself busy again on our schoolworks. The subject teacher for this morning didn't arrive kaya maingay na naman sa room na 'to ngayon.

I stopped writing for a moment to know what's the commosion all about.

It was the Arcadian's ball this friday.

"Hershey is very lucky the last time because Nikkolas invited her for a dance. Ano bang meron sa babaeng iyon?" Dane exclaimed.

Her voice is too loud enough so I heard it. Parang sinasadya n'ya pang iparinig sa'kin 'yon.

Binuklat ko yung journal ko at tama nga ang sinabi ni Dane. Nikkolas asked me to dance with him. That's the first time he changed his actions towards me.

Napatingin ako sa pwesto ni Nikkolas. Kanya kanyang pakulo ang mga babae kong kaklase para mapansin n'ya ang mga ito. Some are giving him letters and chocolates pero walang kibo pa din ito.

Based on the book of the Philippine History, Filipinas are known for being be modest and not this type that I am seeing.

It is year 2030 now at hindi ko maintindihan na ganito na pala karupok at kadesperadong magfirst move ang mga babae.

I observed what will Nikkolas do next. He rejected even the prettiest girl here in this room. Busy ito sa pagsusulat habang nakakunot pa yung noo.

When everyone is at seat, kinuha ko yung natapos ko. I just waited na maglunch break muna para kumaunti yung tao dito sa loob. I took a deep sigh first bago ako tumayo mula sa kinauupuan ko. I gave him the piece of paper that I am holding.

"I'm not interested," he said when I'm already infront of him. He didn't took a glance even once.

"N-Nikkolas."

Pagkatapos kong sabihin iyon ay tsaka s'ya nag angat ng tingin. Our eyes met kaya't napalunok ako dahil sa matinding kaba.

I cleared my throat again before giving him my part in our group presentation. Pagkatapos kong maibigay 'yon ay kaagad na akong tumalikod.

"Ms. Levithan," napako ako mula sa kinatatayuan ko ng marinig ko yung boses n'ya. I don't understand why there is some part of me who misses those times when there is no formality between us.

"B-Bakit?" nagulat ako ng tumayo s'yang nakapamulsa habang nakatingin sa akin. Tumingin ako sa paligid at napansin kong wala ng ibang mga estudyante dito.

"Is it true that I invited you for a dance during acquaintance?" kunot noong tanong nito. Hindi ko magawang tumingin ng derecho sa kanya kaya't tumango na lang ako habang nakatungo.

There is a deafeaning silence between us. Akala ko ay wala na ito sa harapan ko kaya't nag angat ako ng tingin. I am very surprised seeing him looking directly at me again.

"Can I invite you to be my partner this friday then?"

It took a minute for me to process what he had said.

Umalis siya sa harapan ko habang ako ay naestatwa pa rin ako. Nagsimula na siyang magligpit ng mga gamit. I was about to speak ng nilampasan n'ya ako kaya't hinabol ko s'ya ng tingin.

"I'll take that as a yes," he said without turning his back on me. Naiwan naman akong tulala matapos ang nangyari.

Is it true that he already forgot me?