THE ROGUE HE DENIED

Chapter Six

NOELANI POV

Ivana was the last person I saw before I went unconscious. I stirred on the bed when I felt a presence beside me. My eyes fluttered open and Hannah was seated on a chair beside my bed crying. As I sat upright on the bed, she looked up at me.

“You're alive,” she bawled. "When I saw you struggling to breathe, I thought you were going to die. Alpha said you've not recovered."

Hannah was worried about me and not what I had done to her the day before. Engulfed with shame, I looked away from her.

“I'm sorry about yesterday,” I whispered.

“It's alright,” she sniffled. “I'm doing fine, it's you who's still sick.”

“I'm not sick.”

“But the Alph–”

“Please Hannah, I want to be alone,” I cut her off. She stared at me in disbelief. “I'm not going to run off…I can't even,” I whispered, turning my back to her.

As I heard her leave, I curled up on the bed and cried. The scenery from yesterday replayed in my head as the agonizing pain in my heart built up, causing me to gasp for air just like yesterday. With every gasp I made, I cried uncontrollably.

‘I hate him Lana, I do. How could he just reject us like that?' I asked 'I know we just met, but the mate bond is strong enough for us both to slowly get to know each other,’ I cried to Lana.

‘But he's our mate and he–’

‘No Lana, he rejected us, he's not ours anymore. You shouldn't have returned now. You should have stayed behind, then I could have gotten away from here without any regret. Now you're back, he rejected us and I can't run away because he's my other half. And if the bond breaks, it will hurt more than this, till I slowly die!’ I screamed in my head.

‘I'm sorry I was a coward and hid for a long time,’ she whimpered. ‘He's in love with Hannah, I could sense it. When I see her, I'd rip her throat out,’ she growled.

‘I doubt if we could ever leave this room,’ I scoffed. He could have just let me run off the borders from the get-go, pretended like he never knew. But instead he locks me up to keep me anonymous.’

The day went by and I cried till dawn. Later at night, Hannah came to drop my food, then left because I refused to have a conversation with her. I stared at the food and didn't eat it.

I was dying in pain with every passing moment, for weeks. I hadn't eaten food and I refused every medical check-up when the doctor came visiting and not once did Ragnar visit to see how I was. I hated that he cared but didn't care at the same time. Lana wasn't helping matters because she was drawn to his wolf, Ajax, despite the rejection. She could feel his wolf from the moment she confirmed we were mates, but Ragnar was resisting.

I need to be strong, I need not wither in pain even if it can't be ignored.

‘Lana let's transform.’ I commanded

‘You want to run? It would hurt you, given that you haven't shifted in years’. She advised

‘Let's do this. Nothing hurts more than what I'm going through. If I decide to stay beside Ragnar, I can't be considered weak.’

I hopped out of my bed and did some stretches.

I went on my knees and squeezed my eyes shut. Bracing myself for the pain I knew was coming. It had been years since I last shifted, and my body had forgotten how it feels. Every snap my bone made felt like fire burning my body. My breath hitched, then I let out a groan. Whimpering, I trembled as sweat formed on my skin. I pushed further, trying to resist the jabbing pain and cramps that formed in my muscles. My body convulsed, and before the shift could happen, I collapsed into my human form, panting. I was too weak. What was I thinking? I hadn't eaten in weeks. Now I'm suddenly demanding my body to shift. Sigh.

I couldn't give up. I tried again, dragging myself up, using my hand as support. The pain was sharp but not as consuming. I clenched my hands and shut my eyes, refusing to give up. Tears rolled down my face, mixing with sweat as my bones twisted and reshaped until I finally shifted. I dropped to the ground trying to catch my breath, covering my head with my paws.

My senses picked a familiar scent in the air. I lifted my head and saw Ragnar who was casually leaning against the door frame, his tall frame bent slightly because of his height, as though he had been watching me all along, and I didn't sense him earlier on.

Before I could react, Lana took control and charged at him from the door, teeth bared, barking and snarling fiercely. I screamed at her to stop, but she didn't. Ragnar's expression changed, and he let out a warning growl that erupted from within his chest, deep and dangerous, vibrating through the walls as he stepped back and Lana backed away, still snapping at him, refusing to yield. In the blink of an eye, he shifted into his wolf, which towered before us. He let out a deeper growl. He lowered his head, his body trembling like he was at war with himself, then growled even louder. He seemed to be having an internal argument with his wolf as his eyes flickered between steel gray and green. He stood still for a second, then ran down the hallway towards the staircase.

He was trying to ignore me again.

But Lana wouldn't allow it and went after him till we got to a place that looked like a living room and stood firmly in front of him blocking his path, snapping and barking untamed. His pupils dilated, his eyes immediately changed to an amber color and I knew it was Ajax. Lana stopped snapping, her anger melting into soft whimpers as Ajax rubbed his muzzle on us, surprisingly gentle and affectionate. But it vanished and in seconds he stepped back and let out a bone-rattling growl. I tried to break through the barrier of his mind to mind-linking him, but he blocked me out completely.

He was fighting his wolf.

He regained control over his wolf. Immediately, I seized control from Lana, and we snapped and growled at each other, neither of us willing to submit. My forearm pushed hard against his chest, but he barely moved. In response, he snapped menacingly, and instantly pinned me down beneath him. I struggled, snarling at him, refusing to submit. I lunged for his neck, my teeth grazed his skin, then his blood touched my tongue.