Loving me

Thoughts, Feelings and Confusion...........

After closing my work day in the office I get up to leave. As I was leaving sir..... I mean Risandh offered me the lift to drop me off at home but I politely refused. After that, I walk to home after closing the day at my office. As I reach my home I'm reminded of my parents but I shoved those thoughts aside and entered my home. After refreshing I made myself coffee and sat down to continue reading my book.

After trying and failing miserably I gave up reading. As I look up in the window it is raining. It brought me back my childhood memories. When I was a kid I will almost always dance in the rain as dance was my passion then. My mom always yells a little at me while drying my hair and explaing all the I'll effects rain causes to me after giving a cup of hot chocolate to me while my father looks on amusingly at us. The thought brought a smile to my face but it faded as it made me remember the worst day of my life as well. As those thoughts it bring me the worst day of my life forefront to my I quash it away as its really too painful to remember.

After a whole hour, I look up at my watch and see that it's time to have dinner. So I prepare myself a light dinner then I got myself to my bed.

To my frustration I can't sleep. So looking into the ceiling I thought back yo the afternoon I spent with Risandh........ It's really confusing to that I'm attracted to him. It bewilders me after what happened to me I'm not frigid or afraid of him but honest to God both physically and emotionally attracted to him. It complicates things for me. First of all he's my boss. Even if he genuinely reciprocates my feelings in the future I still have to share what happened to me with him.

My heart tells me to trust my feelings but it's hard for me trust another person. But I can't live in a shell all my life. So I come to the conclusion that I will live the life as it happens. If I develop feelings for my boss it's not the end of the world but a experience of different emotions in life. With that conclusion and a lot hope that I can endure what life has for me in future and a little excited to see my boss I drift off to sleep........