Second Choice

Chapter 2

Third person pov.

        How he sees himself and how people see him are two whole different definitions. One is calculative and manipulative, which is to get what he wants. A good thing in his eyes. Meanwhile, others may see him as spoilt, self center and mean. He just drags those thoughts out of people every time they get to experience how he really is, not just a mirage of what he may think he is. 

How deluded must he be to think that being in denial of other people's feelings is good. He loves his brother but his needs are first. Since he was little he wanted to be the center of attention. Even though he was mean to his brother, he thought that it was fine because he deserved it. Which was way out of line, it was not true at all. He was just a spoiled and manipulative child.

        Every time he thinks of his family he starts to think of his cousin, on how spoilt and blabbermouth they are. They are just so immature for him. How stupid of him to think that when he is the one who is like that. Only other people have flaws or rotten personalities. He is not like that at all, he tells himself when they have to see them. He feels pity for his uncles, having kids like that. It can't be easy being them. With his parents it's different, they are barely there for the twins.

Not taking in consideration that by always being at work they forget to pay attention to him, one of the main reasons for Miles disrespect for feelings and his brothers choices. If only everything could be different, maybe Miles wouldn't be as selfish as he is. That is why he always makes sure that what he wants he gets.

How can everything be so black and white, when can he be happy? He has to find others to be happy but it doesn't work. Looking good and being good doesn't mean that you can get everything in life. He is always good and he can't get the attention he deserves from his parents.

        One day, just one day he will like it to be just about him. Everything is about his brother, Max this, Max that. How can he be the center of attention? He wanted that. The spotlight on him, not Max, just him. He isn't even that interesting, he just stares at his stupid book and paints. How fun can that be? That sounds boring, at the same time, it is boring. Nothing will change that, also, painting isn't that hard. It's just throwing paint in a paper, how hard can it be?

Miles pov.

        I don't like this day already, how can someone be so stupid as to talk to me out of nowhere. I tell you when to talk to me, not the other way around. Just for a day, one day I hope that people understand when they are not wanted. How can they be so desperate? It's disgusting.

Where is Max? He was supposed to pick me up. I think I need to call him, maybe he is reading a book or something. He gets easily distracted with those. 

If it were not by the fact that we are identical things, I will be asking myself if we are even related. He is so boring, and such a nag too. Can he get a life and let me live mine. I need to save him from himself,  it's not even funny anymore to be on his case all the time. It's tiring, being his brother is so much work.

Dialing...

            "Hello"  I hear from the line, wow!! He sounds tired, was he sleeping? Really!! When he is supposed to pick me up!!!!!!!!

            "Don't hello me, you are supposed to pick me up from the movies, move it. I'm waiting inside, call me when you arrive"  When I said that I just hung up. He can be chatty sometimes.

What did I do in my past life to have him as a brother, more like a bother. I only had to wait for 10 minutes before he came, that is one of the things I do like about him, he doesn't take his time. I don't like waiting either way. Waiting is for losers. When I got in the car, I just stayed silent. I don't need to talk to him anyway. He, in exchange, didn't get the memo. I do not want to talk, at all.

            "Did you have fun?."  Really? That is what he wants to talk about, I know for sure that he doesn't even know the name of the movie, he doesn't listen when I speak about going out. Thinking that I will make him come with me. He is not wrong, but I won't invite him if I know it can't help me in some way.

            "No, I did not, that is what you want me to say, no?"  What else can I say, the question is stupid anyway. He knows that I hate that. Still he does it. It's bothersome, to a high level.

            "Then why bother going? I don't understand you sometimes"  He is really asking me that, it's he really asking? Can he be anymore dumb?

            "If you have friends you will understand"  I know he has a friend, that loser Jonah. Either way is like not having one with a friend like that.

            "You are still on that? I have a friend, you know Jonah, I don't know why you always forget and talk bad about him behind my back."  Drama queen much! I just say the truth, what is wrong with that?

            "Yeah, I'm still on that, I keep telling you over and over again that he is a loser, he is barely a friend, why don't you see that? He will leave you one day, I just know it. Don't trust him, simple as that" I know his intentions with my brother, I don't need a distraction in my brother's way. He already has to be there for me.

            "I hate when you say that, I need a life too, why do you always do this? Do you hate me that much?" Hate him? Never, he is my brother. I can only count on him. Only him.

            "No, you know that, I care about you that is why I do these things, I don't want you to be hurt. If any one were to hurt you it would be me"  I couldn't say it better myself. My brother only needs me to make him feel bad. He doesn't need more people in his life to make him feel bad.

            "WOW!! How sweet of you, you didn't have to."  He says with sarcasm, really? I'm being nice here. Is it so wrong to be like this? He is always saying that I should be nicer, but when I am nice he talks to me like that. 

            "Sarcasm isn't helping you, is it?, I was being nice, didn't you say to be nice to people, sometimes I don't understand you" He is a weird guy, only he can be all over the place and still think he is doing good.

We stayed silent for the rest of the ride home, it was for the better. He is confusing me. 

        Our house is bigger than the rest, we live in a small house in a close up neighborhood. We don't live in the pack house, my uncle is the Luna of our pack. They let us stay out of the pack house, we don't like living with all those people. 

We have eleven rooms, my parents wanted a big family so they bought a house with a lot of rooms. I told them what I thought about that idea. Impossible! I don't want more siblings. Now we use the rooms for guests, I have a game room and Max has a painting room. 

Mom has a yoga room, but she practically doesn't live here. I use it to meditate. I need it to get the stress out of me.

Morning

        The smell of breakfast woke me up, that must be Max, he always cooks for us. The cleaning is left to the housekeeper, she comes twice a week. Our parents wanted us to be more independent so the only person who comes to help around the house is the housekeeper and from time to time  gardener. 

They think that both of us take part of everything, and divide the chores, they couldn't be more wrong. I leave that to Max. He likes it anyway. If he didn't he would have said something. He knows I can do it too. I just simply prefer for him to do it. 

        I took a bath, brushed my teeth and put some clothes on, today is a school day. For my luck. The only thing I like about school is ordering people around. Classes are just a piece of it, I do well in school, my grades are as good as my brothers. The process of all of it is what I don't like. Sitting with annoying people and listening to a teacher yap about something that I already know is not fun.

            "Good morning, Miles"  Said Max with that peppy tone of voice this early in the morning. I don't see what it is to be happy so early. I will prefer to be in my bed at the moment. 

            "Yeah, good morning"  Not good at all, but well...

            "Did you sleep well?"  Always with the same question, of course I slept well. If not, my mood would have been worse than it is now.

            "Like all the times you ask, yes, I did"  Please don't ask anymore questions.

            "Fine, I'm glad"  You always are. For real!! Be less annoying, at least for a day. Please!!!

            "Did it pain you to answer?"  Does he really have to be like that all the time? I may be a little annoying but he tops the hat. Why can he just mind his own business and leave me be. I hope he isn't like this when I tell him that there is going to be a party this weekend and I need him to drive me and my friends. 

It's his fault for being so gullible, if he wasn't like that, maybe I wouldn't treat him like my servant. I know what I am doing. He does everything I tell him, so why not? Till the day he stands up for himself, I will keep doing it.

        Maybe I will tell him tomorrow, a day before. He won't say no to that anyway. What he won't like is picking up my friends. Well, not friends really. They talk to me because of who my parents are. Hypocrites if you ask me. Don't care either way, I have my fun and so will they.

They are part of my game, I make the rules and each of them are walking by my rule. Pieces in the palm of my hands. Like fishes in a pond. They feel free, but they are confined in a space that becomes small each day. Seeing the same things over and over again. 

        It feels wrong, like a bird in a cage, what will I give to free them. Those poor things. Others may see me as cold, but I do have a heart and it hurts every time I see an animal stuck, out of their environment. Like I feel in these houses, it feels small each day. That is why I feel better when I just forget, and go party all night long. Consequences be damned. I want to be free, free of any shackle that may be a part of me. That is why, my dear brother, without me, you are nothing. 

I will keep dragging you down till there is nothing left of you. And that is a promise.