A Worthy Wolf?

Chapter 15 - Raven

I stood in the center of the lounge that I had spent so much of my life within. My family home... it felt like my head was spinning as I watched as my mother so animatedly discuss the prospect of my engagement party... the wedding itself, and everything in between. She described Brayden with many more nice words than the man deserved in her enthusiasm, and a sense of dread washed over me. How was I to mention the plan Brayden had for me now?

No. I had to find a better way to handle this...

I looked toward my father where he stood, leaning against the door frame, taking in the scene, that same steady, calm look upon his face that he always had. His familiar brown eyes watching me with what I suppose could be described as curiosity. Was he expecting me to respond? I would do well to get a word in with the amount my mother was talking... He offered me a small smile, before diverting his gaze to my mother.

"There will be so much to do! Dresses for the party... oh the wedding! Rae-Rae! Wedding gowns... do you know how amazing it is to shop for a wedding gown? You are so lucky..." Her voice was filled with sweetness and daydreams as she spoke, dropping herself onto the sofa with a wistful sigh. Maybe my Mum and Dad could remarry instead? Give her the wedding she seemed to so desperately want? Because I wasn't sure I wanted one anymore...

But no sooner had her dreamy breath slipped from her lips, and I had naively thought she may be ready to take a break, her arms began to move around in excitement as words flowed so easily from her lips of the ideas she had for what I could wear to the engagement party. "You will look so perfect! Did you have ideas?" She threw her question at me. "Or do you need me to help? Oh, sweetheart, say you need my help!" She looked at me pleadingly. My heart sank. I did not know what to say. What to do.

This arranged marriage was something that had been expected, likely since the day that I was born. I was the only daughter of the hierarchy within our pack. And, I think my mother had long since accepted the idea, as hard as it was. She still had days when that wavered, but she was excited at the thought of me marrying a man who was capable of caring for me. And, just as he had charmed me, Brayden had charmed my mother. My Mum thought the man was wonderful. She was excited at the prospect of me becoming his wife. I had been too, until a matter of hours ago. Now, I did not know what to do...

My Mum sat watching me. Her eyes filled with nothing but affection. Sheer happiness. "Aww, Raven, it will be so perfect. You will make a wonderful couple." She released another contented sigh. One filled with so much anticipation. Only I had no hope toward the wedding. Not like my mother had. Any hope I had was now long gone.

But as I now considered the wedding with fresh eyes, I realized I had perhaps never wanted this. The excitement I saw in my mother was so real. But this was my wedding. Should I not feel the same? There should be ideas bouncing around my mind of what I would like, shouldn't there? Plans for our future... but there was nothing. Everything seemed to have change, I told myself. But, would I feel the same had I not learned of his deceit? I found myself questioning, and the answer told me more than I think I expected it to. I was sure that nothing would change had I not learned of his deceit. That was the thing. And that in itself told me that perhaps this wedding was never the right thing for me after all.

"Aww, Raven, we have to knock the guy off his feet!" Mum near squealed with excitement and I heard what sounded an awful lot like a wry chuckle from my father as he walked from the room with a shake of his head as I heard him mutter.

“Hmm, I am sure he will be...”

I looked after him with confusion, but before I could ask him what he meant, my mother was back to her enthusiastic chatter once more. Her hand was resting upon my hand this time. “Do you want to go shopping for a dress, sweetheart? Hunt until we find one that you feel perfect in? We could make a day of it!” Mum asked, her eyes looking towards me, and her sheer happiness was clear, my heart twisted with guilt.

I desperately wanted to say no. tI wanted to tell her everything. That was what I had always done with my Mum. When something was bothering me... if someone had hurt me, she was the first person I would run to... talk to... but this time, I just could not find the words. I did not have the heart to shatter her happiness. As my eyes wandered across her gleeful faces, suddenly all words that I needed seemed to have slipped from my lips. Instead, I simply nodded. Swept along in my mother’s own excitement, it seemed the engagement party may well be happening after all...