My Playlist

Chapter 37 – The Basement

I wasn’t supposed to be watching my big brother. I was the younger one and he was supposed to be watching over me. He was five years older than me but things doesn’t really go with my mom’s luck then. He was born with a mental disability called ADHD and the thought of raising a special son wasn’t on my grandfather’s list at that time. He wants to have someone who will be taking the business over after grandfathers’ but since he wasn’t able to reach grandfathers expectations he wasn’t able to go out and be known as the new member of the family.

Ever since I was born, I get all I want because my grandfather favors me over my big brother Sean. Sean was still a family member so he knows somehow he’s special to the family. One day, I was in my playroom and I was playing all my luxury toys when he came in and wanted to play. I was only five years old and I don’t know how to approach situation regarding my brother’s condition. “Play, play, play” he said. He grab the one I was playing with and started playing on his own. “Give it back! Sean. That’s mine!” we were fighting over the toys when it broke down. It was shattered into pieces. We both cried and that is when all the maid came in and tried to stop us from crying. Mom came home and found us crying. She tried to calm me first and I stop as soon as I got a hug and a kiss from my mom then she went on to my brother and tried to stop him from hurting himself because he does that when he’s agitated or something like that.

I was only staring at my brother and all the people trying to please him with everything. I wasn’t jealous. I was just so curious why he does that. Mom told me that my brother needs special needs but I didn’t know he needs a lot of care for his age. After our small fight, I saw my brother going to my grandfather’s study and as a kid, I followed my brother. He went to an open room that leads downstairs. It was so dark and cold and I told my brother to go up but he smiled and continued exploring the room. I found a switch and the room lighted up and it was amazing. There were too many wine bottles and a lot of stuff. You can play, watch, and drink till you break.

Since then, we’ll go there everyday and eat a lot of food in there till there’s one time my brother eat something that made him collapse. I tried to wake him up but he wasn’t waking up so I ran upstairs crying and shouting “Mommy”. The door leading to the study room is locked. I tried to open it but I couldn’t. I wasn’t able to do anything but to shout and nobody can hear my cries. I came back to my brother and tried to wake him up crying but there was no luck. After minutes of waiting next to my brothers’ body, the maid in charge of cleaning that room came down and saw us lying there unconscious. We were sent to the hospital fast but there was no more they could do. My brother died of a massive allergy and I was diagnosed with a trauma that leads me to hallucinate about my brothers death. Two years of therapy and family support, I was able to go back to normal life. My father was living with us that entire years of therapy until one day, he disappeared again. That basement was sealed for that entire two years and I think my grandfather used it as his home office here in Manila. Every time, I step into that room, memories of all the things happened comes back so I don’t really go there anymore.   

There are almost 20 doctors in the room right now. I told Eli “I am fine. I want to rest”. Eli told the doctors her sincere gratitude and told them I am already fine. “What was that?” asked Eli. I told her nothing but she kept on asking “You’ve never been that sick. Your fever was almost 40 degrees and the doctors are always trying to stabilize you because you kept on seizing. Do you know what that meant?” Eli kept on spilling everything that happened while I was unconscious. “I’m fine now, allright? It was just a simple panic attack” I said. She looked at me and muttered “Panic attacks?”

I told her the story about my childhood and Sean. “That’s why?! Remember the DJ on your 15th birthday? He’s name was Sean and you cancel the party because you don’t want to attend. Is that why, you told me don’t hire anyone with the name “Sean” on their forehead back then, right?” I smiled and let our a big sigh after. “It reminds me of the most helpless moment of my life and I may be cured but not entirely. I still miss him even though we don’t really understand each others’ vocabulary back then, he has a lot of spirit and he was very bright”. I didn’t realize, my tears are falling like waterfalls again. Eli wiped it and told me to rest and she still needs to take care of something.

“What is it?” I asked her. “Nothing, just rest for now. I’ll take care of it” she was about to open the door when I asked her what it is all about. “The media knows that you are here in the hospital and there are too many reporters downstairs trying to get a cover on your story. It’s been hectic for everyone for almost two days”. I was shocked when I heard that I slept for almost two days. “No, the concert is tomorrow, right?” she responded with a shake on the head. “We are not canceling tonight event, right?” I asked her but she told me that it might get canceled because I am still not okay yet. “No! We are going as is with the plan. No delaying of things anymore. I can do it and I am fine. Just please Eli!” I beg her to listen but she told me “Just rest, I’ll figure things out, okay?” I gave her my half-smile and she continued on her way. I rummage on my bag next to the bed and look for my phone. I saw “21 Missed Call from Love”. I got worried and called her back. We chatted for a long time and I took a nap after.