Not My Mate - Finished

Episode Ten - The Meeting

Kayne, Seth and I sat down in the meeting room with tea. The rest of the family had dispersed to a nearby small guest house to rest and go home in the morning. For a few moments, we just sat there and looked at each other in silence. I felt awkward, a weird feeling pulling at my chest. I had grown fond of Kayne, and with my mate, who I also loved, sitting in the same room, nothing felt completely right. We each sat in corners of the room, no one near each other, but I longed for physical contact and wasn't sure who to go to. Either would be happy to have me close, but I wasn't sure I could swing that without making the other upset.

“Seth. I know Bria touched a bit on the fact that a deal was made here, but I'm also aware it likely wasn't explained well.” Kayne said, breaking the silence.

“Right.” Seth mumbled. He didn't really look at either of us.

“When Bria came to live here, to be my wife, and my pack's Luna... I knew it wouldn't be easy for her. Honestly, I knew it wasn't easy for me. I'm not sure how much you've been told, but my mate died a few years ago giving birth to my first child. It tore me apart. I never thought I could love anyone else. That being said, I'm getting older, and the pack will need an Alpha to replace me. That's why I reached out to other packs offering alliance for a mate. It felt weird to me, but I knew the only way I'd bring myself to do it is if I forced my own hand. I knew Bria would always want to be with you, but I still needed an heir. I told her that if she carried my child, she could be with you, occasionally. I will still need her here often to take care of the child and the pack.” Kayne explained.

“Will you two still be physical? Affectionate?” Seth asked.

“Bria?” Kayne's eyes met mine.

“I'm... I'm not sure.” I whispered. Now it was my turn to avoid eye contact.

“I'm not sure I can share a mate. I would almost rather be without.” Seth said.

“I'll finish, and leave you two to discuss it. My hope is that she brings the baby with her for the first two years, while it nurses. Once that time is up, the child can stay here with me while she visits as much as she'd like an feels able while balancing her duties. You may come here, too, but need to remain inconspicuous to the pack. I don't mind whatever you two do. That's it. Talk it over.” Kayne said. He didn't leave any room for any other questions before he exited.

“You mean... you wouldn't want to be with me?” I managed to choke out.

“I'm not sure Bria. I expected you to come here and wait for Ben to become Alpha and let you come home. I didn't want you to love him. I didn't want you to have s*x with him. That's for me, only.” Seth said.

I felt betrayed. “I did this for you.. for us. I'm of course happy about the baby. I love him, er, or her. But I wasn't exactly excited to jump into bed with someone I didn't know. I wasn't sure I was ready to be a mom, but I did it. I wanted to get to you as quickly as I could instead of spending five years away from you.” I said. Tears streamed down my face and I could taste their saltiness as they ran into my mouth, flooding my words.

“You didn't ask me. You didn't give me a choice.” Seth said.

He had me. He was right. But how could he hate me for doing what I thought was best for us?

“I'm sorry.” was all I could manage to get out.

“And what... you think I'm going to help you raise his baby? You're going to come for visits on weekends and play house? Act out some small sliver of what we were supposed to have... with a baby that isn't even mine?”

“No... that's, not what I wanted.” I said.

I wasn't sure what I wanted. Maybe that WAS it, maybe I was being unfair and expecting too much out of him. Maybe I was selfish.

“You should go.” I told him.

“Yeah... I should go.” He got up and left.

Kayne caught the door as it swung and came to kneel in front of me. I was still crying as I recapped the conversation.

“I guess... I guess I thought he would want to be with me no matter what. That he would be happy I was getting us together sooner. I would be happy, grateful, whatever, if the rolls were reversed.” I told him.

“He'll come around. Give him time. Let's get you to bed.” Kayne said.

He helped me out of my chair and up the stairs. I stripped to my bra and panties and climbed into bed. I snuggled up with him, letting soft sobs escape into his chest while he stroked my hair.