Constant as the Stars Above

PROLOGUE

I closed my eyes. I imagined a paradise scenery; visually having waterfalls, lush of green trees and beautiful flowers, a clean and green pool of water, and marvelous view of the mountains and hills. The sky was a perfect combination of sky blue and white. The heat of the sun is hot, but not enough to scorch my skin badly. I approached the pool of water and dipped by bare foot. The water’s cold but not enough to make me shiver. 

It was the perfect idea of a safe haven. Somewhere far where no one can reach and hurt me. Somewhere safe where I can be myself. Somewhere private where I can be with someone I want to be with. A place no one can touch. A place no one can see. Even those people who are closest to me. Even my family. 

A place only me and him can go. A place only for us.

I want that. Peace.

It’s the only thing me and him needs. Away from all of these mess. Away from all of these people.

“Ace, are you alright?” I heard him asked.

I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was slowly taking glances between me and the road. His eyes twinkled when he looked at me and I can’t help but adore by how it shone every time it looked my way. I laughed remembering something, those eyes never shone the way it did now compared to how it was before. It used to be contempt, then pity, but now love. The way it always sent my fiery soul and heart on fire every time he looks at me. It was the color of the sky which only reminds me of paradise, of a safe haven, of peace.

Now I'm craving it more.

I smiled to assure him that I was fine. I am fine, as long as we’re together away from things that could possibly separate me from him. I’m never been this contented in my whole life, but simple stolen moments with him like this is more than enough for me. I’d take it any day and would never trade it even by the wealthiest and most expensive things offered to me.

“Yes, I’m fine. Stop worrying.” I answered and smiled sweetly.

I looked at the seaside highway in front of us. We both don’t know where this road may lead us, but having long drives with him out of nowhere, just the two of us, is always the best. The roaring waves of the sea beside us looks engaging and promising.

I stared at it for too long. Personally, I believe that oceans are always the most mysterious things in the world. It’s cold and unwavering depths holds more darkness than night itself. Its ripples and waves are dangerous and unpredictable that can affect infect and influence one after another.

Life, fate, and destiny are all alike with ocean.

Mysterious. Dangerous. Unpredictable.

One day you’re up, the next you’re down. One day everything’s serene, the other is chaotic. One day its sweet, the next is sour. No one really knows, we all just have to go with the flow.

They are mysterious in ways we do not know and do not completely understand. But one thing I realized for sure is that the three of them always work together, hand in hand. That makes them more dangerous. The more we fight the way it flows, the more dangerous it is to us. Just like the waves in the ocean, the more we fight the current, the more it takes us with it.

I sighed, I shouldn’t be thinking things like this. We’ve risked going out and instead of worrying of the things we left behind, I should enjoy and treasure the moment we have here now. We can ever rarely enjoy random dates like this one because our actions are being monitored. As long as I have my Romeo with me, problems I have back at home, remains back at home. Having him around makes life easy, if not, well at least it’s better.

He grabbed my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. He tightened his hold on my hand and brought it to his lips. He showered my hand with slow and gentle kisses as his thumb massaged parts of it. I stared at him; from his messy brunette hair down to his narrow nose, and well-sculptured jaw.

I chuckled and felt my cheeks turned pink, but I did not stop him from kissing my hand nor did I stop staring at his face as if I am memorizing it. I am overwhelmed by his simple gestures and I am overly enjoying it. If only we could stay like this forever. If only I could stop time for a while so we’ll stay like this. If only.

Contented and happy.

But guess fate wasn’t really with our side, destiny contradicts with our wants, and life – this life we hope and wish wasn’t really ours in reality to control and decide. The universe does not align themselves to us, we align ourselves to them.

Before I completely realized what was happening, our car went pummeling down the highway and into the depths of the sea. I felt my head bumped with the car roof many times, I felt something trickling down my forehead, but I have no time to focus on that because the car was still continuing to drop.

I closed my eyes as we made contact with the water. I tried so hard to breathe but every time I do, I only inhale water. I punched the car door open but it did not budge. I tried to open my eyes and I saw the person I love. He was out of his seatbelts and his side of the door was open. But why wasn’t he going out? He reached out his hands to me and tried dismantling my seatbelt.

My seatbelts. I looked down at my waist and saw that no matter how much he tried to remove it, it won’t budge as well.

I’m stuck! Horror immediately washed over me as I realized the situation we were in. I tried helping him remove it. The energy we both gave in is not enough to destroy the belts and set me free. I started to panic. I felt the air I have left is not enough to get me out of my predicament.

I looked at him and held his hands, stopping him from what he’s doing. The water is slowly enveloping our car, leaving no trace of free space to breathe. I closed-opened my eyes when I felt it sting from the salt water. When he saw my struggle, he withdrew his hand from me and attempted to remove the seatbelts again.

I sadly smiled as I imagine all the curses and complaints he have inside his head. Even if we’re below water, I can feel myself swelling up to cry.

My Romeo grunted as he struggled to remove me from the seatbelts. We only have so little time left. My side of the seatbelt is stuck. The water is slowly rising inside the car. The car is sinking deeper and deeper in the ocean. We need to get out. He needs to get out.

But I can’t make it. I can't.

If he won’t go, he’ll be out of breath too and he can’t survive as well. One of us at least needs to go home. And I’m pretty sure I want him to go home. I want him to survive. He needs to survive. I stretched my arms to touch his face.

The moment my fingers traced his face he stopped struggling. I took a few seconds to memorize all his features inside my head, which I know will be erased in my memory as well as I’ll be erased from the face of the Earth after this tragedy.

He looked at me with pure worry and horror plastered in his face. I tried to move closer to him, planted one last kiss on his soft lips and pushed him away from me as hard as I can. Indicating that I want him to go, that I want him to save himself that I want him to leave me for him to survive.

I’m out of breath. I can’t take it anymore. Him struggling was the last thing I saw before I slowly closed my eyes. The perfect image I had in mind of paradise now turned real as I ready myself to welcome heaven.