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Mom's Anger

Colton's POV...

I woke to the flight attendant calling my stop over the speaker, my heart was pounding in my chest. Like a bird trying to break out of a cage, or someone trying to break out of their everyday pain. I got up without realizing that I did and walked off the plane. Once I got to my bags the heaviness in my heart and stomach started to lift. The only thought that was on my mind was my mom. I just needed to get to her, and for her to hear me out. I felt bad enough for not coming home sooner, and helping her when she needed me most. I stood waited for my bags to come to me from the belt. As soon as they came around the corner I grabbed them and starting walking towards front entrance. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a little girl with long brown hair yelling my name and running to me with her arms stretched out wide. I turned my body enough to see my whole family standing there with ‘welcome home’ papers up in the air, and I realized the little girl was my baby neice, well not a baby now, but that’s beside the point. I dropped to my knee and held my arms out while trying to keep the water from my eyes from falling.

“Untle ‘olten!” Sophia yelled, and jumped into my arms.

After several months of being gone the smell of her strawberry scented hair felt so soothing, natural, and so normal. The tears in my eyes burned but I held them down. I didn't want Sophie being worried. For a little girl who was only five years old, she managed to have the biggest heart and see good in anything that stepped into her path.

“Sophie?” I pulled back and looked at her.

 Her face got concerned and I could tell she knew that something was wrong. Her bright hazel eyes got dark and her brows knitted together.

“Yes untle ‘olten?” she said with a soft tone.

I looked behind her to see tears falling down my mom's cheeks and the rest of my family At that moment i realized dad wasn't here. A single tears slid down my face and Sophie wiped it away slowly. A single smile lit up onto her face making my heart heavy.

“You know you give the best hugs eh?” I said quietly trying not to choke up.

“Yes, but E gives better ones.” at the mentions of E’s name Sophie’s eyes lit up.

My head slowly fell to my hands and I tried to keep it together, I lifted my head and wiped my tears, and looked into her tiny round eyes.

“You're right, Soph, she does give the best hugs.” I hugged her one more time before standing, grabbing her hand and walked towards the others. I finished giving hugs and receiving warm welcomes, and then walked over to my mom who had her back to me and was looking out the window. Her body had became smaller, stiffer, and I could tell she had lost weight, but who could blame her.

“Mom...?” I said softly

She turned her body took one look at me and then fell into my arms. Her body shook as she grieved on me. She grieved for the thought of losing dad. She grieved for the depression that had recently consumed her life, and She grieved for me and all my brothers that had to go through this. She pulled back and looked at me.

“I'm sorry son, I shouldn't be doing this. I'm much stronger.” she turned again and looked back out the window.

I walked up next to her and stuck my hands into my pocket

“It doesn't matter if you are strong enough or not, mom. What matters is that you give god the chance to fix your heart, because you can't do it by yourself. God gives us a time​ to be born, and a time to die. A time to kill, And a time to heal.

There is a time to weep. And a time to laugh.

There is a time to be sad. And a time to dance.

There is a time to love. And a time to hate.

There is a time for war. And a time for peace.” I took a deep breathe because I knew the next part wouldn't come easy, “ You just need to trust him.”

Mom turned her head to look at me and the angry rose in her face.

“Trust him? Trust him Colton? He is taking your father from me.” he voice rose “You didn't even call all these years, you didn't care enough to even be here, you have no right to use the word, trust. Not now, nor ever. I trusted you to come home and be here for us, but you choose to leave” everyone was staring now. Some dropped their head. I knew she didn't mean what she was saying, but it still hurt.

“I get it mom, but you didn't tell me sooner. You didn't give me the option to come home sooner. Hell I bet you didn't want me here anyway.” my voice broke and I couldn't say more even though I longed to take it out on her. I turned on my heel and walked out.

I walked till my calves burned and ached. I walked till the pain in my chest grew into nothing more. By the time I pulled my head up I realized I had been walking for an hour,or so, and I was at my front porch. Nobody was home so I looked for the key to the house. Third rock to the right. I looked under to see a red, somewhat rust old key. When I unlocked the house I put the key back where I found it and walked in. Everything was where it was when I left. Couch by the back wall, dad's chair by the window, TV remote and holsters on the table by the chair. Nothing has changed. The walls were still a dark, red color and the kitchen yellow. Old and rustic is how my mom always liked it. I walked upstairs to my old room, and opened the door. I was surprised to see that my bed was made, my medals were still where I left them, and clothes put away. And a fresh set a sheets on my bed, and bed made the way its suppose to. Mom must have cleaned my room for me before I came home.

I set my bags on my bed and put away the things that were in them. I hung up my suits I brought and folded my extra shirts, and pants. I heard tiny paws walking through the house, and soon around my bedroom door popped the head of old Bandit. I called him to me. Once I was done in my room I opened the door and took a left down to my parents room. I stood in front of the door, not daring to go in. I couldn't, I can't. I put my hand on the golden handle and turned it enough to open the door just an inch, the smell of my dad came shooting out at me, like the bullet of a gun whizzing past my head. I shut the door, and let the air out of my body that I had been holding in.

“Colten?”

I turned around to find my baby brother standing down the hall with a confused look on his face.

“Hey Aiden. I was just...” I looked back at the door, and then back to him “actually I don't know what I was doing.”

"Even though dad is at the hospital, I still can't go in there either.” He looked at the door with the same face I had made.

  Aiden was only seventeen. I know that this was hard on him. Nobody had the best relationship with dad, but we all tried. I put my arm around his shoulders and started down the stairs.

“Let's go get something to eat, what do you say?” I looked at him.

“That sounds great actually.” he said through a smile. And with that we walked out of the house we grew up in together. leave all the memories of dad behind for the time being.