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Big Tree

Colton's POV...

There she was standing right in front of me ,and I couldn't take my eyes off her.

Everything was the same except for her eyes. Once a deep blue color just like the crystal clear ocean were now a sharp grey with no shine. The years of hurt and loss had all but gathered right there, in her eyes. They were my favorite thing about her. On the inside by the pupil was a tan, sand color. Which was always her favorite: The color of sand. Then on the outside was a deep, blue color. Filled with excitement, and secrets nobody knew. The shine alone would brighten up any room.

Once a small, tiny, but strong brave 18 year old now looked like a battered and defeated twenty-two year old. I knew something resent must have happened and it must have been bad because she was making circles with her finger on her left side. Second rib to the top. The same rib I use to rub for hours at a time. It was her comfort. Laying up against me while I made tiny circles on her side, leaving a little red spot. Most of the time she would fall asleep. But what she was doing right now was something she did when she was scared or nervous.

“E are you okay?” I point to her side and she looked down at it and moved her hand as quickly as possible.

“Yeah, no i'm fine, but hey I have to go” tears gathered in her eyes, and I knew she wasn't okay, but that's something she was good at. She always hid what she was feeling. It was her favorite game: pretend.

“E you don't have to go, you just got here, and besides m-” but before I could finish my sentence she turned and practically jogged out the door. My legs ached to chase after her. To grab her face in my hand and feel the softness of her lips. The sweet taste. I longed to feel up and down the length of her. The one thing that I finally was allowed to do. A fear she had long but gotten over, and passed. I wished to take her in my arms and to tell her how sorry I am, but I couldn't. My legs wouldn't allow it and my heart felt to heavy to move. She was the person I didn't want to see, did care to even go look for yet when I got home, but now it's obvious from God that he wants me to talk to her. I finally had some strength to start walking. Aiden walked up to me after getting his ice cream.

“I bet you were not expecting her to show up here.” he said.

“No not at all.”

We got to the truck and I decide we were going to go to big tree. A place where me and E used to go everyday, and swim and sit in the big tree right off the lake. A place where all the parties happened. A place where people could be themselves. It was the most perfect place to be. It was a place me and E found back in Middle School, when we were hanging out one day, just walking the back roads. We kept it a secret up until High School when we decided it would be fun to have a big party at our senior year. About half of our grade showed up, some from other schools, and some younger class mates. there was about 100 acres of just straight beauty. the tallest trees surrounded the most blue lake with a tiny dock. next to the small lake was the biggest tree of them all, open in the middle of the tree and you could sit right on top of it. It was almost like a large table. And off to the side was our initials. It was pour tree.

After E, and I would get done swimming we would climb up the ladder we made for it and would lay down, stare at the leaves, and then eat our crazy sandwiches we made for each other, after that would would lay on each other and fall asleep. One night we stayed there so late we decided to just sleep there. We grabbed some blankets out of the truck and stayed till morning. The feeling of her waking up in my arms was pure heaven. Something that I would never forget.

“Where are we going?” Aiden asked. taking me back to the real world.

“Oh sorry, we are going to big tree.” I stayed in a daze.

“Colton, are you okay?” his voice has a hint of concern in it.

“Yeah bud, i'm okay.” I said

“So why did you come home?” he asked

‘Well Mom called and let me know what was going on with dad. I didn't really want to come back just yet. Things were getting busy at work, and we are working on a big contract, but once mom said that dad was.. well he is in the condition he is in. I decided it was best to come home.” I looked over at Aiden who was staring straight ahead

“Dad asked about you before he got really sick. You know that right?” I could tell there was a hint of anger in his voice.

“No Aiden. I didn’t know because nobody told me about dad until it was too late.” my face began to heat up. I bit down on my lip, something I always did when I was angry. Aiden was stepping into a place where nobody should walk and the more steps he took the more the volcano at this place began to boil.

“We did tell you, or we told someone to tell you. They said that you were busy, so we left them a note.” Aiden’s voice rose with every word that he was spitting out, “You should have came home Colton. We needed you, and you weren’t here. Mom is losing two people in her life. You and dad. You can't expect us to be okay.”

My head was pounding now.

“And you think i’m okay? Because i'm not Aiden, i'm not. I'm losing dad, E, and mom. I don't want to lose you either.” I looked down, “look we have to stay strong, for mom, and for everyone else.” I pulled to the side of the road and took a deep breath.

“It’s not easy to stay strong in a world like this, Colton. You need to give us some slack. It’s hard you know. I losing dad too. I lost you the day you left. Mom doesn't talk to me. I don’t have many friends beside Bonnie. It’s hard Colton, really hard, so don’t even think for one bit it’s all about you.” he stared straight ahead.

My head boiled, and my eyes burned.

I kept the voice in my head inside, and pulled into the park.

It was a twenty minute walk to the spot, but it was a beautiful hike. It was E’s favorite about Big Tree. She love to go later in the day, so that when we were hiking, the sun would be setting. The colors of orange, pink, yellow, and red peeked through out the sky. It stretch out like arms grabbing you and pulling you into them. The way her eyes would grow big. The dark blue in them was so fascinating. When she looked at something that she loved her face would get a light pink-red tint, her head would tilt to the side and then she would smile. I missed it, and I missed her. I turned to face Aiden and saw the deep concentration in his eyes.

“Aiden?”

“Yes?” he said while turning his body to face me.

He kicked the tiny, tan pebbles on the ground with his foot. The sun was starting to disperse behind the mountains. Summer was getting closer and closer, and the air started to feel warmer and tasted sweet and salty.

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you have to deal with all of this. I know its not easy.” I turned to keep walking, so we made it before dark.

“Its okay. I know it must be hard for you too. We just need to be strong for mom, and the rest of the family. We are the men in the house now. We have to start taking care of things now.” He kept his eyes to the ground.

“Well since i’m not gonna be home you’re gonna have to take over. I’m going to have to get back soon before we finish this big contract.”

“Colton no. We are already going through so much and for you to leave again. I don’t know how much more mom can take.” His voice got quiet, so I tried to change the subject.

“I know buddy. How are you and Bonnie? Have you told her how you actually feel?” Him and Bonnie had been friends for as long as I can remember, and not once has Aiden told that girl how he feels about her. She was raised in a good Christian home with a good family. She had two brothers. One that was her twin, Bayer, and then her oldest Brother, Berkeley. When we first met the Cappelli’s was when me and E’ were dating. The were such a loving family, and Bonnie was the most outgoing person there. She brings out the best in Aiden.

I glanced at him and waited for an answer.

“Ha, really funny Colton, but no I haven't told her. I planned on it though. I’m just trying to find the right time to do it.”

“Well for some brotherly advice. Don’t be stupid and just do it. But for some personal advice. Don’t be me Aiden because you might lose your chance.” I set my hand in his shoulder.

We reached the water, and I walked on the long brown and mossy dock. Once I got all the way to the edge. The boards had started to wilt away, and holes started to pop through the board. I got down and ran some of the water on my face. For it being a big body of water the water was so clear. I longed for summer to be here. Just like I longed for E’.

I felt someone come running up behind me, and before I could turn around to see I felt strong hand push hard on my shoulders. I felt the cool water connect around my skin, leaving a tingly feeling throughout my whole body. Water rushed into my lungs, and my feet hit the bottom of the pond. I pushed off from the ground and shot out of the water. I coughed up all the water that went into my mouth, and whipped my eyes to see who had shoved me in the water. I raced to the dock trying to get out, but stopped to hear someone laughing. I looked up to see Aiden holding his stomach while rolling on the ground.

“Oh you think that was funny Aiden?” I looked up at him. His face got stern, and hard.

“It was a joke Colton” he stared back at me.

Without realizing it, I reached up to grab his wrist and pulled him in. He came up from underneath the water coughing. I threw my head back into a fit of laughter. As soon as I had calmed down Aiden started to laugh with me.

We got out of the water, and walked back with nothing but wet clothes and a smile on our faces.