When The Going Gets Tough

Now What?

He cooks the breakfast and serves scrambled eggs on toast with bacon, it smells sooooo good, we sit at the table and start eating, there is a huge weight in the air I can feel it, but nobody talks. I glance a look at him and he's watching me with those deviatingly emerald eyes. Yes you guessed it staring again. I quickly look down and try and intently cut my food up ready for the next bite and I hear a small throat clearing cough. 

"Did you um, ... Check?" He says so quietly I only just hear him

"Yes" I say, I can't look up, I don't want to see the questions or sadness in his eyes.

"And?" He puts hi hand on mine to stop my sawing action of my I hadn't realised I was doing.

"I.. oh god this is really embarrassing.." I take a deep breath, here goes if I say it quickly then it's just out there "I've never had s*x before so I don't really know how it would feel the next morning, all I can say is I'm sore" I remove my hand from under his, now I've said the words out loud it feels so real. I out my hands on my lap, eyes still cast down.

"Please don't shut me out I'm here to help" he says honestly, I can hear sadness in his voice.

"I don't know what's worse, I have no idea what happened, no memories of it. I don't know what to think. It's all just too much" I'm half sobbing by the end of my sentence and I can feel the tears running down and drilling from my cheeks. 

I hear his chair push out and the next thing I know I'm in his arms and he's walking, he sits down and I realise were on the sofa and I'm straddling him, none of that matters big ugly crying is going on, and he's just holding me tight and stroking my hair. 

I wake up still in his warm embrace and realise I must have cried myself to sleep. I lift my head.

"Are you okay" he asks

I'm sat straddling his lap mere inches from his face, I can't help myself I lean forward a gentle kiss him on the lips, I sit back "thank you" suddenly a thought hits me "what time is it?" He looks blankly at me "what's the time!!!" 

He grabs his phone from the arm of the chair "it's 6:15 everything okay".

"s**t s**t s**t. No I've got to go to work, I have missed the bus" I can feel a full on melt down approaching, what the hell am I going to do, I need that money. "Can you drive me? Please it only takes 25 minutes by car. I need to be there by 7:20" 

I get up suddenly torn. I need to get in the shower and get ready, but if I want to press charges I need to not shower. Well it's probably too late. 

" Yeah okay, I will run home and get freshened up and come back with the car" he states standing up

"What's the matter, what's going on in that head of yours?" 

I look up at him "I need to shower" the look he gives me says he understands

"Did you want to press charges? Or attempt to?" He asks

" I don't know what happened, I doubt it will go anywhere, I'd like to find out what actually happened and somehow I don't think the police are going to be much use"

He nods in understanding "okay get ready I will be 30 mins tops okay" he kisses the top of my head and disappears.

I jump in the shower, get dressed quickly, nothing exciting they will sort me out an outfit when I arrive. I attempt to make my hair look good. It doesn't place ball but Millie will help me out she always does. 

It's 10 to 7 and I hear the car pull up in the drive, I grab my bag and throw my phone and keys in it and rush out. I get into the passenger side and reel off the address while plugging my seat belt in. 

When I look up he's holding a container, "what's that?" I ask.

"Dinner, my aunt made it here's a fork" he says, I take them off him on auto pilot how did I get so lucky to find this friend. 

He pulls out the drive and head to the town I mentioned, I open the tub and see some some bolognaise pasta, I waste no time getting it down me. Once I've finished I look up at 47* he glances my way and then giggles.

"What!" I exclaim. 

" You have a little sauce on your chin" he giggles.

I pull down the visor and there it Is, sauce splodge on my chin, I wipe it off and close the visor.

"I'm going excuse your giggling like a girly over a saucy chin because you have been so amazing today" I say trying to sound chill. 

"I'm here for you if you need me okay" he glances at me and I nod. "So what do you do for work?". 

"Nothing just work at a club the owner knew my mom so IV managed to pick up a shift here and there" I say trying to be noncommittal. 

"What do you do at the club" he asks

"This and that, what's with the 20 questions about my occupation? I say, teasing him is fun he's dying to know. "Are you sticking around to be my ride home? I finish at 11?" 

"Will I find out what you do?" He asks clearly intrigued

Hopefully I just managed to get a lift home "you won't miss me, I'm the one in red" I laugh knowing this is confusing him more. 

We reach the next town and I direct him to the carpark round the back of 'Club Xcess' we get out the car and head to the back entrance and knock 3 times on the door.