Can't Hold My Peace Forever

Chapter 2 - Young And Broke

*Zefra's POV*

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“You're fired.”

The phrase kept replaying in my mind with two different voices as I sit on a bench under a tree by the sidewalk. Damn, I only have two days of consecutive absences, and they already fired me. That is just so very nice of them! I have even told them my reason, and they won't f*****g buy it. Like, who would look out and take care of my sister in the hospital because of a high fever that turned out to be a kidney infection? I just cannot ask Molly to look out for her twin since she needs to go to school for a chess tournament that she has been preparing for the last couple of weeks.

And now, I am so f*****g broke. What is left with me is my five to nine PM job at a diner being a waitress. And, I need to find another day job tomorrow. Well, I still don't know if they'll fire me, too, later. But, hopefully, they won't.

---

“Zef, why are you home?” Riley asked me as she sees me walked into the kitchen, while she poured some water into a glass.

“No work. Have you eaten lunch and taken your meds?” I answered and asked her in which she showed me the pills in her hold that she is about to put in her mouth.

“What do you mean no work? Did you get fired?” She asked curiously and went to sit on a chair after drinking her doctor-prescribed meds.

And, I let out a deep sigh in response that she nodded her head with a sympathetic look on her face.

“I'm so sorry, Zef. I know it's because of me. I promise I will do my best not to get sick again. And, if you would just let us do part-time jobs. We wanna help---” She started with her sad voice, but I cut her off.

“We already talked about that, Rile. You need to focus on your studies. I just don't want that the two of you would get through what I have been. It's hard to be a student while you work. Your grades will drop, and it'll be no use in college. That's the only help I need from both of you. Focus, because you'll graduate soon. You only have a month.” I uttered sternly, and she nodded her head in response.

“Well, luckily, I still work at Janna's. They didn't fire me. Not yet. But... don't worry, I'll hunt for jobs tomorrow. And, you, Young Lady, take a rest now. You'll just go to school on Monday if you'll finally get better.” I told her, and she slowly stood up while trying not to make quick movements.

“Okay, that's good to hear that you still have at least one job. Are you gonna visit Mom, later?” She replied and asked me, while I chugged down a glass of water.

“Yeah, and maybe I'll catch Molly there,” I answered as I put down the glass in the sink to wash it, and she nods and smiled at me before heading to her room.

I just want them to have good grades and a bright future and to be not like me. I have been a college student for more than four years already, and still, I haven't finished a degree because I need to do part-time jobs to help pay for the expenses in this household. Well, if Mom would wake up soon and be out of the hospital, I could start saving up for myself again so that I could go back to the university this coming August. But right now, I just need to be both the mother and father of this family. Yes, I am a provider for the last month of my life after our mother got a head injury when she fainted and bumped her head on a curb by the sidewalk that caused her to be in a coma state. She was just working so late every day and could get a few hours of sleep to work again in the morning. So, I need to stop going to college to find full-time jobs to pay debts, bills, and support her medication since she's Diabetic too. And also, I need to take good care of my sisters. Well, all I can say is that I suck at being the head of a family.

What about our father? I don't know. I don't remember his face, or if we do have one. Well, we don't know him, and Mom didn't tell us anything about him. We don't even know if he's alive or not, but we don't care anymore.

After washing the dishes in the sink, I proceeded to make resumes for my job hunting, tomorrow. And, I just hope that I could find even just one but with eight working hours and a reasonable wage.

---

“f**k!” I cursed under my breath as I take a sit on my usual bench near the park.

Well, I just have tried three establishments that have job hiring posters but one of them ended up interviewing me, and their head announced, a minute after, that they already hired someone. Damn, I freaking waited for almost two hours and got nothing. And, the other two? They just forgot to remove the posters. This is just so f*****g great.

But yeah, I won't give up. I should try roaming the south part of the city. It's a bit far from the house, but maybe I could find something there. I just don't want contractual jobs because I need to be at the university in the next three months. I only have three semesters left, and I would finish my Civil Engineering course, and I could finally work with my dream job in my dream workplace.

---

“Ms. Killian, expect an email or a call from us, tomorrow, to know if you will be hired or not. Thank you for your time and have a good day!” The interviewer told me with a bright smile, and I nodded my head.

“Okay, thank you so much, and have a great day too!” I replied and flashed her a smile before I exited the room.

Well, I have applied for the position of cashier in a convenience store at a gas station, in which the shift starts at eleven in the evening up to five in the morning. Wow! Sleep will be erased from my vocabulary if ever I will be hired. I'll just sleep in daylight then because I still need to be working at the diner.

As I passed by a restaurant, I tried to look if they have any job hiring poster, and there is one. But, they need a chef.

Then, I continued searching for my remaining one hour, and I sat down on a bench by the sidewalk. I still have two hours to visit Mom and go home before I will head to the diner.

“Hi! Can I sit here?” A woman asked me as she points at the space beside me.

“Yeah! Sure.” I answered, and I moved to my left to give her more space.

“Are you looking for a job?" She asked me as she sits beside me.

”Yep! How did you know?“ I replied and asked, while I am trying my best not to look at her face. I just don't wanna be rude, especially to women.

"Well, I kinda saw you at the gas station and the restaurant, earlier, and you are looking at the posters." She answered, and it got me thinking that she might be stalking me. Like, what the heck? Why am I thinking such a thing? Well, maybe she's an employer, and that would be so great if she'll offer me a job, a decent one.

"Oh, yeah! And, with this folder? I couldn't be more obvious." I uttered as I emphasize the thing in my hold, and she chuckled softly. Wow, it's such a wonderful sound.

And, I finally got the chance to glance at her face, and I am absolutely sure that she looks gorgeous behind that sunglasses and a big pink hat.

"What about you, what are you searching for?" I asked her curiously, and she took a deep breath. A very deep one. And, I bet her problems seem heavy. Hmm, and no, I am not gonna ask her.

"I'm searching for happiness and a reason to live my life." She uttered with a trace of sadness in her voice, and that made my head snap to her. Oh, she's problematic, and so am I. But, she looks wealthy and pretty. I never thought that rich people have problems, too. Well, maybe just not money.

"Mmm, that seems hard to find in a short period," I uttered while looking at the vehicles on the highway, and she let out a sigh.

"Yeah, because there are just people that would take your happiness forever, and you won't know if you'd still want to live your life." She stated, and she seemed about to cry. Or, she could have been crying even from earlier that's why she's wearing glasses. Mhmm. Could be.

"You should not think negatively, Miss. Do you know what they say that if there is life, there's still hope? Maybe there are other things that could make you happy, and you just haven't met it or owned it." I advised like a real damn counselor, and she giggled.

"I have owned it, and I don't wanna lose it. And, you're right that there's still hope. That's why I'm still holding on that maybe he'd change his mind." She replied, and I'm guessing that it's a person.

"Heartbreak?" I asked curiously, and she smiled.

"No. More of like... life break." She answered, and I nodded my head lightly.

"That seems deep and serious," I uttered, and she turned her head to me.

"By the way, I am Monica. And, it feels good talking to you." She said as she holds out a hand for a handshake.

"Oh, nice to meet you, Monica. I'm Zefra. Zefra Killian." I replied with a warm smile, and I shook her soft smooth right hand. And, honestly, she smells nice, too.

"I usually don't talk to people especially my friends or family about my problems because they thought that I'm capable of dealing with them." She uttered in a sad voice, and I get it; she looks fine but deep inside she's struggling, and maybe, she's good at keeping it.

"No, you should talk that out and let out all your problems even just to one person. Because if not... it'll mess up your emotions, and if it'll consume you, it won't cause you goodness. You'll overthink things, and that leads to depression. And... that is why you are starting to think negatively about the world and life. And, the next thing you'll do is find a solution to that problem so that you'd finally be happy. Just... Damn, I think I'm sounding like a counselor here. I'm sorry, I'm just... You know, maybe that could help. Yeah." I rambled with all I know, and she just kept nodding her head in agreement. I'm just used to thinking optimistically because that's what Mom taught us.

"No, you are right, Zefra. I'm truly glad that I met you. So... can I tell you my problems? And, I bet that you are a big help. Because... clearly, you are the only one I could talk to, right now, before I'd completely blackout and would forget that life is worth living for." She stated in gratefulness, and I felt sympathy for this lady. She might have suicidal thoughts, and I'd gladly help her get through that. I could save a life.

"Yeah, I'm happy to help what I can. Just not money because I'm still searching for some, too. Or, drugs. I don't have one." I replied, and she let out a soft laugh.

"So, what is this life breaking problem of yours?" I asked her, and she composed herself as she clears her throat.

"My boyfriend left me because a b***h stole him from me and forced him to marry her. And, I'm pregnant." She answered, and I gulped.

Well, that's... mind-blowing.