The Captain's Backup Girlfriend

September

*Sierra's POV*

Mia stood up from my bed. Walked to the window. Looked out the campus below. Walked back. Sat down again.

“Ethan Hayes,” she said.

“Yes.”

“The Ethan Hayes.”

“There's only one, Mia.”

She looked at me for a long moment. Then she turned to Zara. “Are you hearing this?”

Zara, who had been eating chips this entire time, looked up. “I am hearing it.”

“And you're calm about it?”

“I mean.” She put a chip in her mouth “Yes.”

“Both of you are… so ughh” She turned back to me. “Okay. Tell me everything. What exactly did he say?”

I told them. All of it. The stairwell , the offer , the sixty days.

When I finished Mia was already nodding like a woman who had made a decision on my behalf.

“So let me get this straight,” She said. “He wants to fake date you so Campus and the Hockey club stops thinking he's the cheater. And in exchange you get Journalism connections. Internship contacts...”

“And Jason has to watch.” Zara added.

We both looked at her.

She shrugged. “That part matters.”

“That part wasn't officially in the contract but yes.”

Mia stood up again. This time she pointed at me. “Sierra Morgan, you are going to say yes.”

“I'm not…”

“You are absolutely going to say yes and I need you to understand that right now we can skip the part where you list all the reasons it's a bad idea.”

“It IS a bad idea.”

“OF COURSE it's a bad idea, that's what makes it brilliant…”

“MIA.”

She stopped.

I took a breath. “It's a bad idea. He's the hockey captain. The whole campus is already watching. One wrong move and it becomes a bigger mess than it already is. And I'm not in the business of making my life more complicated right now. I don't know him. He doesn't know me. Fake dating isn't a thing to me. I don't like playing with my feelings or someone else's.”

“Your life is already complicated…”

“Which is exactly why I don't need to add a fake boyfriend to it.”

Zara set down her chips. “I know it's your decision,” she said. “But you did ruin his reputation. Even if it was an accident.” She paused. “And the opportunities are really good.”

I pressed my lips together. I did ruin his reputation. But it could be resolved differently rather than fake dating.

“Finally!” Mia screamed. “Zara, I've never been this proud of you.”

“Zara,” I said. “You're also doing this?”

They both laughed. Mia grabbed my arm. “Say yes. Sierra. Say yes.”

“No,” I said.

Mia stared at me. “You haven't even…”

“I mean it could be solved a little bit differently…” I tried convincing them. Or myself at least.

“Yes. But think about the Internships. Contacts and a chance to spice up your life by dating the most…”

“Mia. No.”

She threw herself backwards onto her bed with the energy of someone being deeply wrong. “You're making a mistake.”

“I'm making a decision,” I said. “There's a difference.”

Zara had stopped talking and was just staring at Mia while smiling.

“Final answer,” I said. “No.”

Mia flopped back down. “You're going to change your mind.”

“I'm not.”

“You are.”

“We'll see.”

She was quiet for a few seconds then screamed and spoke up as if she had just remembered a random thing she had been wanting to tell me.

“You know the girl from the party?”

I stopped pulling my duvet back. “What girl?”

“The one Jason was kissing.” She said casually. My stomach dropped. “Her name is Kayla. She's in your biology lecture.”

I turned around slowly.

Mia was examining her nails. “I wasn't investigating or anything. I just. Looked a little bit.”

“How long?” I said.

“Huh?”

“How long has he been talking to her?”

Mia looked up. Her expression did something careful. Like she was about to drop a bomb. “September,” she said quietly. “Her i********: has a comment from him from September.”

I looked away for a second.

“September was the beginning of the semester. The beginning of when I and Jason started building something together.

“Okay.” I said.

“Sierra…”

“I know.” I got into bed. Pulled the duvet up.

She didn't say anything else. Neither did Zara.

I couldn't sleep.

Mia could. Obviously. She was out within minutes, breathing slow and even. Zara was still awake. I could tell. Neither of us said anything about it.

I stared at the ceiling.

September. That's what kept getting me. Just that one word sitting in the middle of my chest.

September was when I started paying attention to him. The way he always saved me a seat if we had classes together. The way he got me coffee every morning. The way he remembered things I mentioned once and did it for me. The way I started looking forward to seeing him everyday.

We had been building something until he finally asked me to become his girlfriend. And in September, while I was doing all of that, he was already talking to Kayla.

I turned onto my side.

I thought about the Internship.

The one I actually wanted. Investigative desk, real byline, something that meant something before I graduated. I had applied in October. Sent a follow up in November. Another in December. One more last week that I read back four times before sending because by the fourth draft it was starting to sound like begging.

I sent it anyway.

Nothing.

I thought about home. About my dad closing a folder whenever he heard me coming down stairs. About my mum's laugh going slightly too bright that weekend, the version she uses when she's covering something she doesn't want me to worry about. About Evan who had just gotten accepted into college.

Sixty days, I thought.

Journalism connections. Internship contacts. Opportunity I couldn't get on my own no matter how many follow up emails I sent.

Sixty days of being seen next to someone the entire campus was currently paying very close attention to.

And Jason would have to watch.

I hadn't wanted that to natter. I still didn't want that to matter. But lying there thinking about September, thinking about the fact that I wanted to confess my feelings.

It mattered. Just a little.

I sighed. Tomorrow I was going to accept Ethan Hayes' offer.