HDD
463 Words
I chose to initially exclude the title of this because somewhere in the depths of my mind, I thought that would cause a bit of intrigue and suspense. Or maybe I just can’t think of a title. Today is the 19th of July but this was supposed to be written (finished) on the 19th of June. I was itching to write and since it was father’s day, I thought it was fitting to write in respect to the ‘holiday’.
People, especially ones who belong to one of the various African cultures and fond on interchanging the word ‘respect’ with the definition of the word ‘fear’. We have been programmed to fear our parents and other elders in society, but most
especially (tautology?) our fathers. The phrase “I will tell your father when he gets back” is often used to send any semblance of joy and most times appetite away from a child once the words are uttered, not because of the fear of disappointing or angering our fathers, but because of the fear of what punishment would be inflicted.
We fail to realise that more obedience is commanded as a result of respect and love than from fear and anger. A child will get used to the pain from beatings and heartache from insults, but will never get used to the feeling of letting down someone they admire and look up to. Someone who has shown them love and care, and has done things not only out of a sense of responsibility but out of love.
We need to realise that paying school fees, clothing, feeding, sheltering are not what make a good father anymore. Those responsibilities can be carried out by anyone from Yahoo boys to young entrepreneurs to sugar daddies, to boyfriends to charity foundations. Being a father is about the emotional availability, the ability to make a child feel important, making them know their views, opinions and thoughts are seen and acknowledged by you, making them believe in their capabilities.
Thank you to all the fathers that put a smile on their childrens’ faces when they enter a room, the fathers that don’t consistently remind their children of the sacrifices they made and make their children feel like burdens. Thank you to the fathers that hype their children’s businesses not only when it benefits them, to the fathers who don’t physically abuse in the guise of discipline or emotionally abuse in the guise of scolding.
To all mothers who have to take on the role of two parents. To the brothers and sisters who have to be parents to their younger siblings. To the friends who have to be parents to each other. Happy daddy’s day to everyone who deserves to be called a father.
- Writer
