Present and Past Desires

Chapter 2 - A Troubled Mind

According to my dad, Walter was in love with me. More than that, he heard about my mum’s medical condition (her test results showed kidney failure), and was willing to sponsor her treatment.

“Really, dad?” I was super stunned and felt like I was in a trance the day he told me. Because this guy only sighted me for two days and we hardly said a word to each other. Though he looked charming, attractive and gorgeous, I didn't feel a bit drawn to him. I only wondered why he was suddenly interested in me.

My dad was the only one in the living room when I finally made it home. He had a newspaper in hands. I found it odd. I mean, who still reads newspapers these days when everything is on the net? He dropped his papers and cast a surly look at me, then at the clock. “You went to see Jabari?”

I wasn’t surprised he guessed right. “Of course, I did.” I murmured, avoiding his gaze.

“Melody. Didn't I tell you to stop seeing him already?” His voice climbed gradually. "Is he going to sponsor your education or foot your mum's bills, or grant me that proposal?”

“So this is what it's all about? Money, right?" I felt so hurt and disappointed that he didn't seem ready to consider my feelings. “Do you even care if I love Walter or not? Why did I think all you were after was a good name?"

“Exactly. Which is why I'm holding this paper. The Wellingtons family is in the headlines. If they had a bad name, they wouldn't be ranked among the top ten successful families in the States.” He blurted, pride glowing in his eyes. “Do you know what that means? Getting married into such a family is no small feat.”

Then his smile faded. “So you’d better cut off whatever ties you still have with that pathetic boy and prepare for your new life.”

Pathetic boy indeed.

Pathetic couldn't even describe him right now. He was such a total jerk and the world's best loser, to think he would just toy with my heart after all these years.

“You know what, dad? I'm willing to marry Walter." I announced.

The transformation on my dad's face was so real. His smile warmed my heart for a moment.

“I know you were only fooling around all these while. I promise you, you'll never regret this.”

I was so tired and not in the mood for any discussion, so I walked straight to my room, flung myself on the bed, and stared at the ceiling as I grew lost in thoughts. I didn't even have the strength to cry.

The second thing I had not bothered telling the pathetic boy, was that I had no intention of getting rid of the baby, because I still loved him. I was only bluffing to see his reaction, and I admired the fact that he was willing to accept the baby, despite his financial constraints.

But right now, the thought of having his baby alone made me feel sick. It also made me feel like killing Jabari. I wouldn't blame Ella for being so ignorant. I never let her know who my boyfriend was, because I always felt intimidated by the stories of her rich boyfriend she always fed my ears with. I didn't want to feel ashamed of mine.

Good Lord. To think her rich boyfriend the entire time was Jabari? I felt so broken and stabbed deeply.

My phone rang severally, but I ignored it and finally turned it off.

Though on the other hand, more questions also kept ringing in my head. Why was an affluent family like theirs in a haste to do the wedding? Why didn’t they pick a girl from their rich circles?

“Mel, you have to get ready. The Wellingtons will be hosting a dinner party tomorrow, and Clinton wants you to be there,” my dad announced excitedly the following morning.

I furrowed my brows. “Clinton? Who is Clinton?”

He gave me a puzzled stare. “Walter’s dad, dearie. He wants to make a formal introduction and announce your engagement.”

“Really? So soon?” I was startled. "Why the hurry though?” Maybe this was my chance to get some answers. “Besides, I always thought people of their caliber hated mingling with our kind. So why are they suddenly interested in me? And I’m only eighteen.”

My dad snorted in disgust. “You ask a lot of dumb questions most of the time, and I hope you don't embarrass yourself out there. You will be nineteen in less than three months. My grandmother had my mum at seventeen.” He returned his focus to the tie he was knotting.

“But why me?” I pressed. “Why our family?”

He patted the neatly knotted tie and finally looked at me. “We are not just any family. I have known him for a long time since I started work in the bank. We just hardly ever came in close contact.” He simply said.

I stifled a grunt and rolled my eyes. Talk about asking dumb questions and getting dumber answers.

After he left, I walked over to the fridge, picked an apple to chew with my thoughts, and slumped down on the sofa in front of the TV. I surprised myself with how calm I seemed, considering my sudden pregnancy and this whole rushed marriage arrangement. Funny how the only thing that kept replaying in my mind was an image of Ella hugging and kissing Jabari.

The pain in my heart returned. I couldn't wait to see the disappointment on Jabari's face when he heard I'm getting married.

Ha! I would show him he was a real loser to think he would just fool me.

Well, back to reality, I had to figure a way out of this pregnancy before anyone noticed. But my train of thoughts were interrupted when Spencer, my elder brother walked into the living room.

He had graduated two years before Jabari, but was yet to get into college. The first year, he didn’t make his papers. Second year, he claimed he hadn’t saved enough. Third year, he missed his exams, and now, year four, he said he had finally saved enough money and wanted to sponsor me so I wouldn’t miss out. He would take the exams next year, he decided. Amusing, right?

Deep down, I knew all these were flimsy excuses to cover up the fact that he loathed schooling. It wasn’t just his thing. I only wished he wouldn’t use me as an excuse for the sake of future references.

“Mrs. Wellington. What are you thinking?” he sneered with a coy smile, leaning on the armrest of the sofa next to me.

I rolled my eyes and took a large bite of my apple, making my mouth swell awkwardly.

“You know you would really have to learn to eat like a lady now, right?” he raised his brows. “Well, that’s by the way. How is your pathetic boyfriend? Didn't you break the news of your engagement to him yesterday?”

I shot him a glare. “Were you eavesdropping on my conversation with dad last night?” The apple muffled my voice.

He let out a scoff. “I didn’t need to want to have to eavesdrop. Didn’t you notice I was in the kitchen?”

Whatever. I returned my attention to the TV, barely registering anything on the screen because my eyes and mind were a thousand miles away. I only wished Spencer would leave me alone.

“You know it’s one thing to break the news to him yourself, and then leave him to handle the heartbreak. But it’s another thing for him to hear it from a different source and feel more hurt.” He paused, peering at my face. “I wonder why you seem off and weird these days, though, because I remember how excited you were after meeting Walter for the first time. You talked about him nonstop with dreamy eyes, and now he is being offered to you on a platter of gold, you don’t seem…”

“You don’t seem to have work today?” I finished for him.

“You don’t seem excited.” He totally ignored me. One of his best talents.

I took the last bite of my apple, sighed, and tossed the seed onto the table. Maybe I should bare my mind to him, huh? Except the break-up and pregnancy part of course. “To be honest, I’m just doing a lot of thinking. Why is Walter suddenly interested in me when we barely know each other? Why do they want to rush the wedding? And why didn’t they pick a girl from their circle?”

Spencer smacked his lips, a distant look appeared in his eyes. “You want to know why? It's a very big secret and I'll only tell you on a condition."