Shadows of Obsession

Care

Soft headlights illuminated Lauren's sharp profile. He drove slowly, but his brows were furrowed, furrowed, yet he maintained a steady speed.

Ella was reminded of the past. Back then, Lauren liked to wear white, spotless pullover sweaters, much like an elegant tree growing amidst the bushes. Now, he kept everything bottled up inside, making himself tired and others wary of his sudden outbursts, so different from before.

"I've thought it over," Lauren finally spoke, "living together was my oversight." Ella felt a bit awkward, tugging at her slightly long hair ends. "So, you want me to move out? I haven't found a place yet, give me a few more days…" "Ella, I'm not kicking you out," Lauren's voice was inexplicably anxious, "there's a new residential area, I'll take you to see it." Ella stammered, "No, I, I can't afford it." She didn't know where to look, her eyes wandering.

Lauren pressed the accelerator slightly, "Just go live there."

Ella stared at him in confusion for a while before saying, "I don't get you, you said we should break up, we're already broken up, so why do you still care about this and that…" Lauren cursed, "Stop nagging!"

Ella stared at him for a moment, then laughed coldly, "I'm nagging? Yes, I, I eat your food and live in your place, so if you tell me where to live, I have to live there. If you let me speak, I speak, if not, I'm nagging." She started to stutter completely, her breath catching several times, taking deep breaths, racking her brains to express even one percent of her anger.

"You think just because you give me money, I have to take it? Give me a house, and I have to live in it? I won't! I'd rather sleep on the street! This is... this is... food thrown at me with disdain!" He finally remembered the term, pounding the car window forcefully, making a thumping sound. "Stop the car." He yanked at the door handle, but it was locked and wouldn't budge. "Stop the car!" Lauren was a bit at a loss, "No."

He reached out, trying to grab Ella's hand that was pounding on the window. Ella's still thin arm used all its strength, and Lauren, needing a hand to drive, couldn't hold her down for a moment.

"That's not what I meant." He was a bit anxious, using too much force. Seeing Ella wince in pain, Lauren relaxed his grip a bit but didn't let go. He pulled Ella, turned a corner, and drove into an alley.

Ella covered her eyes with her hand. "I really, really can't take it anymore." Lauren's mouth moved, but no words came out for a long time. "Ella, I just want to help you." Ella covered her eyes, her mouth twisted into a high sneer. "I don't need anyone's help." Lauren's breathing became more rapid, like he was in pain. "That's not what I meant, earlier. You know, I just want to take good care of you." Ella moved her hand slightly away from her eyes, and under the car lights, seeing those eyes, Lauren felt like someone punched him in the chest, first making it hard to breathe, then the pain set in.

Ella laughed sullenly, "You said it, damn it, I'm too late. I'm too late." Lauren looked at Ella, finding it impossible to focus on driving. He pulled over roughly by the roadside but still refused to press the unlock button on the car door. His face was a bit pale, but his eyes were dark and intense.

"I’m with her, but... this is a different matter. It's about me taking care of you. The world out there is so chaotic, and it's not easy being alone. I just want to help you, why... why do you insist on going somewhere I can't see you?" Ella stared at him in astonishment, finding Lauren incomprehensible yet somewhat familiar in a way she couldn't describe. She recalled how Lauren used to hold her years ago.

That face almost overlapped with the past, and Ella had to steady herself to forget the illusion.

Thinking about it, she wiped the corner of her eye with the back of her hand and smiled slightly. "You just said, you and her, and you and me, are two different things?" Lauren glanced at her, then looked away, rubbing the leather on the steering wheel. "Two different things. Consider it something I have to do. We are still friends. I can't just abandon you." Ella pressed her head against the car window with some force. The slight dull pain made her headache feel a bit better. She tapped her fingers on the glass.

"It's not two different things, let me tell you. Lauren, can you be my brother? Can you be my friend? It's all one thing! I was also your lover. You chose her, so stop interfering with me. Why don't you understand!" Ella looked at Lauren, who was still staring at his hand on the steering wheel.

Ella stared straight ahead for a long time, speaking each word slowly and clearly: "If one day, it really becomes two different things, I will act like I never knew you. I will go far, far away." She seemed extremely distressed, lost in thought.

Lauren turned his face to look at her, hesitated for a moment, then gently patted the back of her hand.

Both of them were lost in their own thoughts, sitting in silence for four or five minutes. Lauren finally spoke, "Why are you still acting like a child?" He tightened Ella's seatbelt a bit, coaxing, "Let's go see the house first, okay?" Ella didn't refuse this time.

After a ten-minute drive, they arrived at the place. Lauren got out first, opened the passenger door, and Ella slowly got out. The decorative lights atop the residential area were all lit, and the landscaping was done, though the flowers and trees had just been planted. The soil was uncovered, and the smell of organic fertilizer was strong.

The sales office door was locked. Only the model homes were furnished, while the rest of the buildings were still rough shells with scaffolding. The red-painted lift was powered but no one dared to use it.

Lauren searched his pockets and found a bunch of keys. He led Ella up the stairs. The model homes were well-decorated, with bookshelves filled with books. But when she grabbed one, she realized it was just foam covered with stickers.

Real flowers wilt, but plastic ones stay forever. Real things get hurt and bleed, but fake ones remain eternal. A model home, a showcase, couldn't tolerate too much reality.

Lauren spoke very little, letting Ella choose for herself. She eventually pointed at one randomly. The two had spent less than two hours together, most of it arguing. When they finally quieted down, the silence was too heavy. Lauren twisted off two keys from the bunch and handed them to Ella. "Have it cleaned up and buy some things. You can move in tomorrow night." Ella sat on the couch, legs crossed, took the keys, stared at them for a while, then asked, "Did you keep a spare?" Lauren's face changed, and his tone became sharp, "Let's go." He seemed to be exposed and walked ahead. The hallway lights weren't installed yet, leaving the vast space echoing their footsteps.

Ella followed for a few steps, then stumbled, her heel scraping against four or five steps before she fell to the cement floor. The pain made her gasp for breath.

Lauren's voice came from below. "Did you fall?"

He came up quickly; it was too dark to see him clearly, only his rapid breathing could be heard. "Does it hurt? Let me help you up." Ella tried to move, realizing nothing was twisted, and stood up with the help of the wall. "I'm fine, don't bother." She walked a few steps and noticed Lauren's footsteps closely following. She almost tripped again.

Lauren grabbed her left hand, "Watch your step." His tone was urgent. "Let me help you." Ella looked down at the pitch black below, now scared of falling again, leaned on him completely. When she snapped back to reality, her face felt hot. She swallowed nervously, in the darkness with just the two of them. The unfinished homes on either side, without doors, looked like big black holes ready to swallow them. Ella was scared, but not of the dark.

She cautiously said, "Lauren, I was a bit harsh today. We never argued like this before." Lauren responded with a grunt, and they were almost at the ground floor.

"Lauren," Ella's forehead was covered in sweat, "come back, I'll listen to whatever you say." She regretted it immediately. Such things needed the right moment, a bit of wine, the right atmosphere, some certainty before making a move. Ella could repeat herself, but the first time carried the most weight, saying it too much would cheapen it.

Lauren stood silently. Even through his clothes, she could feel the warmth of his hand. His reluctance to speak made Ella more anxious, her thoughts swinging wildly.

Lauren's breathing changed slightly. "I can't do it." He was silent for a moment before asking, "Is that clear enough?" Ella stood for a while, then walked ahead of him, her pace quickening as she tried to leave him behind.

Ella rushed towards the direction with streetlights, and Lauren followed. "Where are you going?" Ella didn't reply.

"Tell me, Ella. Where are you going?"

He followed for a few steps, and gradually there were more people around. Lauren reached out and grabbed her shoulder. "Listen, we'll talk at home." Ella shook him off and walked even faster. A few pedestrians, carrying full shopping bags, passed by, chatting and laughing. Lauren, behind her, called out in a low voice, "Where are you going? Not going back? Do you have any money with you?" Ella's voice was hoarse, "I do."

Ella weaved through the crowd like a fish finding water, impossible to catch. Lauren said, "Stop." Sweat formed on his forehead, unusual for him even in the heat of summer, fully dressed.