Reflections

Chapter14:Roles reversed now

One evening I was coming from the library, after long hours of uneventful and unsuccessful night of studying. I couldn’t study without him. I missed him so much. I decided to leave early. I walked outside and what I saw next left me baffled. I saw Mr Right, there on the sidewalk with another woman. I knew she was the new girlfriend. I had seen him post her just days after we broke up. It didn’t please me one bit that he had moved on from me so quickly. She was beautiful and poised, very well put together. They looked perfect together. There goes me with my jealousy.

He had blocked me everywhere on social media. He wanted nothing more to do with me. I was not having it. After he blocked me everywhere, I went straight to his email. I begged for one last meeting. For closure, I said. When, in reality, I just didn’t want to see him with another woman.

I tried to explain to him, I knew I was wrong, and he was the only person I had wanted in my life. I’m known to be very defensive, as well as persuasive. I have reasons for everything. More like excuses if you asked him. A very good defense mechanism if you ask me though. But from another observer, I looked manipulative and controlling. He gave me another chance, and he forgave me and left the new girlfriend.

I never changed my ways. I did eventually tell him why I was so indifferent. I told him I was still hung up on Mr Wrong, and I didn’t know how to love him right. If he could take him back, at least teach me how to love better. He tried so many times to convince me that Mr Wrong didn’t love me and that he was the right guy for me. Nevertheless, I couldn’t control how I felt nor the connection he and I had between us or the fact that I was hurting the innocent heart of the poor guy. He didn’t deserve it. Looking back, I should have let him be happy with that girl instead of asking him for love back and hurting him more now than I did before.