Becoming part of the Griffin family (COMPLETED)

Chapter 6

I push him away and reposition myself to sit on the couch as Judah sits down also.

Judah attempts to pull me closer, but I push away, needing to keep some space between us.

As we sit we get to know each other.

I ask about his childhood, he asks about mine.

I ask about what he did during his time with other packs, he asks about my school, my friends and lastly, he asks about what I want for my future.

I pause for a moment before replying “I wanted to be a pack nurse or doctor”.

His face turns confused as he asks “why do you say wanted, like past tense?”.

I look down in defeat. “You really think once my father knows you are my mate I will have any other choice? You're an Alpha, soon to be his Alpha, and my brother is in line to be your second. Do you think either of them would forgive me if I rejected you? Made you weak?”.

I sigh before I take in what I have just said, “I’m sorry I know you haven’t done anything wrong, it’s just not the life I had planned”.

Judah smiles softly as he interrupts, “you don’t need to apologize. I understand where you are coming from. I felt the same about becoming Alpha at one point. I fought it for a while, but it was futile, I was born for this”.

A tear creeps down my cheek before I even realize I'm crying. Judah’s thumb sweeps across my cheek, wiping it away “but you do have a choice. I won’t force you into this. If this isn’t what you want, I will help them understand. You are my mate and I want nothing more than to see you happy, even if that means I settle for being your friend instead”.

“You really mean that?” I ask softly, looking up into his eyes.

He nods firmly, “I want you to be happy”.

I lean back into the couch as my tears continue to silently fall. “I thought my mate would see me only as his possession, something he controlled and someone who obeyed him. Not someone who cares about me” I whisper, more to myself than Judah.

“I know we have only just met but I care about you Poppy, about your happiness. I won’t force you into anything. Although you should also know that if this did happen we would be partners, I wouldn’t expect you to obey me.”.

I frown before he answers my unspoken question, “In public, yes, I would need it to seem as if I'm in control, since I am the Alpha, I need to keep the respect of my pack. But behind closed doors, or even quietly in public, like through our link, I want you to feel the freedom to talk honestly with me, give me your opinion, your thoughts, feelings. I don’t want a mate who just submits to me, I want one who compliments me and leads by my side, my true equal”.

“I hear what you’re saying, but I still can’t believe it’s true" I breathe, looking up to catch his eye as I continue, "You're an Alpha, ownership, possessiveness, getting others to submit to you. It’s kind of what an Alpha is in my mind. How can I trust what you are saying?” I ask, tilting my head to the side.

Judah reaches out, palm against my cheek as he reassures “I know it’s hard to believe but I will prove it to you” he pauses, looking slightly nervous. “I also don’t want to lie to you Poppy. Some of the stuff you said is true. That much I can’t change. It’s in my nature. I’m an Alpha and you‘re my mate. I can’t help but be possessive over you. Seeing Jacob, my own brother, touch you filled me with rage I haven’t felt before”.

I nod, understanding he can’t fight his nature. “I get it, the possessiveness. But I don’t want to be like your mum either, where men are scared to even talk to me”.

His uneasiness spreads into a knowing smile. “I can see why. My dad is fiercely protective of her ever since another Alpha tried to kidnap her as revenge... he almost succeeded and mum was injured. Ever since then, he has been like this. Mum says she’s okay with it but I can see it bothers her sometimes”.

“But we don’t have to be that way?” I ask, hesitantly hopeful now.

But Judah's groan has those hopes dwindling, “The thought of another wolf touching you drives me insane, makes me want to rip them apart" he says, closing his eyes as he does, face tense as if he sees the image in his mind, "And keep in mind, the only wolf I have seen touch you since I have known you’re my mate has been my brother” he reiterates, opening his eyes back up to look at me.

“Maybe we could try?" I hesitantly ask "I really don’t want to live a life where I can’t be near half the wolves in the pack because they’re scared of you”.

"Poppy" Judah starts, fingertips brushing along my cheek, "I wish I could say yes, wish I could do that for you.... but I'm also not ready to lie to you. Sitting beside you now. Your neck bare of my mark is enough to have my wolf unsettled, pacing within my mind".

I reach up, my hand enclosing his as I lean into his touch, "How about no touching until I am marked?" I ask, hoping for compromise instead of all out isolation.

Judah's smile goes wide, his whole body shifting to face me now as his other hand moves to hold my face completely “you’re going to let me mark you?”.

I softly push back, shuffling out of his reach and looking down as I reply “not for a while... not until I’m sure”.

He nods, a small smile still lingering on his lips, “the fact your even thinking about it makes my wolf insane”.

I tilt my head, asking instead “so that’s a yes?”.

He nods “I will try my best”.

“That’s all I can ask." I finish, glad we have reached some kind of agreement, all be it a small one.

Silent reigns between us.

"What's your wolf's name?” I ask, the question bursting from me.

Judah is surprised but then.... I see his eyes cloud darker for a moment, and only a moment before he blinks, and they're back to their usual blue.

“Salem...... to say he's eager to meet you, your wolf, would be a grand understatement" Judah smiles, hands pressing along his thighs as he does.

"Tell me about him" I order softly, hoping to appease Hope even just a little as she continues to pace back and forth in my mind, hoping, pleading I'll do more than just talk with the wolf before us, the wolf known as ours.

'Not truly ours.... not until we accept him.... not until they wear our mark' Hope growls her correction, displeased with the current state of events.

"He's a true Alpha" Judah begins, silencing Hope immediately as she keenly listens to each of his words about her mate, "stubborn, possessive and strong. If he had his way he would have marked you last night in my office, the moment we had you alone..... now tell me about your wolf. Her name?”.

"Hope" I smile in return, my wolf's silence making conversation a little easier, "We haven't been together long... but she's strong, loyal and so much smarter than me. She notices things, wolves, scents before I even have an inkling".

At Judah's smile, Hope's content I continue, "Like on our way back from school the other day, the rogue. She scented him before the bus had even stopped. Took us through the terrain, the river to lose him before I'd even seen a bunch of his fur".

"Of course, her first instinct was to fight but it was the day after she arrived and.... and..." I pause, Judah's body now tense as he works to breathe slowly in and out.

"Are you...?" I Begin, Judah cutting me off as he asks, "Why didn't you call for help? Alert someone... anyone?".

"I... we..." I stutter to reply, Judah's eyes turning to face mine as they shutter between light and dark.

"It's always been... I've always been fine... I've handled it" I state, my voice wavering more than I would like and Judah's eyes going wide at my words, making me sigh and close mine at my mistake.

Judah moves closer, his hand softly holding my jaw as he asks deathly quiet, "It's happened more than once?".

I could lie... the thought is fleeting but... there.

"Yes" I breathe, my eyes opening to find his pitch black now.

"They... dad... my brother's... they would have never let me return to school if they knew" I prompt, Judah scoffing at the words as his hand moves more gently into a caress, "How many?".

"How many?" he asks again as I hesitate to answer but his eyes, the mix of dark and light have an answer dropping from my lips before I've even thought all the words through.

"Over the years.....Five..... but only one has come back... he was the most recent".

Judah's touch is gentle as his strokes his thumb along my cheek, his eyes telling me just how much I mean to him, how worried he is...."You can choose from the warriors" he begins, making me frown. His eyes turning serious as he finishes, "One will be accompanying you from now on".

"What?!" I near yell, leaning out of his reach.

"Poppy" he starts as I get up of the couch to pace the floor before us, "I'm not being followed, stalked for the rest of my days. We are more than capable, Hope is more than capable".

"I know... I know" he starts, walking in front of me to pause my steps, forcing me to look up at him before he continues, "I know you, your wolf are very capable but... but these risks... these threats... they are only going to get worse having your scent tainted with mine".

"If the rogues were attracted to you before" he continues, hand landing on my waist, holding me close, "If they were attracted to you before, having the scent of an Alpha binded with yours will push them to near frenzy. I can't risk it. I won't risk it" he finishes, the sternness in his eyes letting me know there is no point arguing on this. There will be no compromise.

My eyes break from his, looking down to the small space between us before stepping back, freeing myself and granting some distance between us... as much distance as I can get right now.