The Undecided Love

"HE DOESN'T LOVE ME"

OVIE'S POV

When I hung up, the wave of regret washed over me. I didn’t intend for it to end like that and I sensed the hurt she tried to hide in her voice.

No lie, our fights were too many and I always had this constant feeling that she was testing me to see how I would react. She was messing with my head and we weren’t even dating yet!

I climbed on my bed and placed my phone on my bedside table. I wasn’t someone to date a girl, I usually had flings with them and that was it. No feelings attached, and the girls understood. Females nowadays need someone to satisfy them and just be that male figure in their life. I don’t need love.

But why is Deola different? Even my friends have said numerous times that I act differently, that this isn’t like me. I haven’t slept with her, but why do I feel like it’s more than that? I do enjoy what we do; the kisses, the cuddles, the way she grinds on me and the way she shivers when I touch her.

Do I like her for her body? It has to be for her body, or not.

Maybe I do like her more than that. Or maybe I don’t.

“Why can’t I understand?” I let out a groan and grabbed my phone to call my friend.

“Hey O, what’s up? Your dad is giving you lengthy speeches again?” Her voice rang out and I grumbled.

“I hope, it’s more than that. I somehow called things off with Deola.”

“What?” she shouted, “Hold on, I’m on my way.” And she hung up.

As I was pacing in my room, she barged in all sweaty and was breathing hard, “I’m here. I ran as fast I could so it had better be what I heard on the phone that you wanted to say.” She dropped her purse and sat on my bed, waiting for me to start.

“I said I ended things with her.” I eyed her, waiting for her to jump and slap me or something, but she only sighed.

“Why?”

“Because, I don’t know if I like her for her or for her body. I’m so confused. She has given me so much to mess my head up and f**k, I don’t know.”

“I f*****g told you to stop all these acts of just approaching a girl because of the benefits you can get.” She sighed again and I sat on the floor, cupping my head with my hands.

“But it wasn’t my intention this time. I’ve even told her that I love her before and she said it back, but I can’t help being who I am.”

“And you just decided to withdraw because you’re afraid of commitment?” She hissed and I flinched. She was getting angry and it was all my fault.

“No, I want to be sure I love her for who she is, not her body.” I sighed. “I don’t want to hurt her, she has been through enough already.”

“Sure, like you haven’t done that already. Congratulations bestie, you have received the dumbest guy award.” She clapped and stood up from my bed and headed towards my door. “And I really liked her, the way you talked about her. It seemed she was wonderful. You f****d up O.”

“Where are you going to?” I called out and she just waved me off.

I sat there on the floor to think about everything and I realized I had f****d up. I ended up hurting her intentionally. But there was nothing I could do now. I couldn’t rewind time, I just had to go on with what I intended and hope that it would work out.

DEOLA’S POV

I woke up and felt a presence in my room and I panicked, thinking it was Ovie, but it wasn’t. It was just the guys lying on both sides of my body and I remember when they arrived last night. They didn’t say anything when they entered and I really appreciated it because me saying the story would just amount to me shedding a lot of tears all over again.

And now I feel bad, they were definitely having fun yesterday and they had to leave because of me.

Getting up without trying to wake them up, I wandered into the kitchen to make myself coffee and make toast. I decided to make extras for them because they would be cranky if I made breakfast knowing they were present and didn’t bother to make theirs.

While I made breakfast, I found my mind wandering. New year was around the corner, schools would resume, Ovie and Grey would be back in their rooms. How would it be? Would Ovie come back? How awkward was it going to be staying in the same house as your ex-lover?

Did he even consider me as his lover?

“What’s cooking Dee?” Andrew took me back to earth and I jumped slightly, as I wasn’t expecting the presence of someone.

“Uhm, toasts. Sorry I couldn’t make anything better.” I turned and forced a smile while handing him a slice I was already done with. He only raised his brows at me and accepted the toast, muttering his thanks and biting into it. Guess it was weird that I was gentle and apologizing for no reason.

“Is Junior up yet?” I asked him as I was making coffee, leaving mine without milk and just a little sugar.

“Yes, his mother wanted to know why he left early so he’s sorting things out.” He grabbed his own cup of coffee and added milk to it.

“You want to talk about what happened?” He asked me as I took another sip of my coffee and I sighed before dropping the cup.

“Well, he doesn’t love me.” I gave him a big smile, a fake smile I always give when I’m trying not to cry.

“Did he say why?”

I usually don’t recall most arguments after they happen because my brain has this thing of pushing them away if they’re going to cause me pain. It started like that after my parents’ deaths and sometimes, it was annoying.

“I also want to know what happened.” Junior voiced as he entered the kitchen with his arms folded, “Because my parents are wondering why the three of us disappeared from the party.”

“It’s nothing, he ended things with me and we’ve gone our separate ways.” I rolled my eyes.

“Dee…”

“It can’t be nothing. You kept crying in your sleep.” Andrew piped up with a frown. “So tell us the full story. What happened?”

“Fine! We’ve always been having arguments and he said they were always giving him headaches.” I looked at everywhere except their faces.

“Is that all?”

“And last night, Kola sent him a text with my phone because he was wondering why my boyfriend wasn’t with me and Ovie took it another way. He blew up about how I’m always giving him tests and making him jealous, which I haven’t even done. I was just trying to clear the air that it was a drunk friend that sent the text and he shouldn’t see it another way.” I choked on my tears.

“And on top of it all, he said he doesn’t even love me, that he needs to know if he did and we should just go our separate ways. Why tell me you love me if you didn’t mean it?”

Andrew and Junior shared a look before Junior muttered that he was going to kill the bastard as Andrew drew me in for a hug. I couldn’t control the tears spilling from my eyes and I was shaking so much.

“Don’t do anything to him. You guys warned me and I didn’t listen. I’m to blame.” I managed to let out before I could calm down.

“So what are you going to do now? As per, his rent and all?” Andrew asked me after I'd calmed down as he handed me water to drink.

“I can’t kick him out, he paid for his rent. The only thing I just have to do is be professional as his landlady, after all that was our first relationship.” I gulped my water and asked if they wanted more toast. I was suddenly starving and felt like I could eat a whole elephant.

“Go lie down, we'll take care of it and bring you some.” Junior pecked my forehead and ushered me back to my room.

As I lay down, I let out a few more tears. I couldn’t think of myself moving on without him, I was already too used to his presence, sleeping next to him at night as he strokes my back, the kisses I fell in love with, the way my body responded to his touch. I couldn’t do it. And him being here in a matter of weeks was going to make everything hard, I couldn’t deal.

“Here’s your toasts and black coffee. I made sure you had extra.” Andrew walked in with a tray and I had to sit upright while he placed the food in front of me.

“Thank you.” I took a sip of my coffee and winced at how sweet it was.

“The f**k Drew, did you pour my entire supply into the cup?” I asked him as I set the cup back on the tray.

“I might have added like three spoons of sugar. You don’t like milk so I used sugar as a replacement.”

“I like it still with the bitter taste.”

“I will drink it then, no more coffee for you.” He grabbed my cup and set it on the floor as Junior walked in with another tray containing his and Drew’s food.

“I told you she wouldn’t drink it.” Junior laughed at Andrew and me as he saw me frowning over my coffee and I proceeded to eat my toast as it looked delicious.

“And black coffee will only make her more cranky, and I don’t need that.”

“Do you want us to stay over? Eniola wants to bring snacks and spend some time with you, but I can cancel it if you don’t want to.” Junior asked me as he grabbed his phone, to call his girlfriend, I suppose.

“Yeah, because I would like to see two people when they’re making out at that moment. Thank you very much.” I rolled my eyes at his suggestion and Andrew snorted at my reply.

“Oh, she asked after you though and wishes you’re fine.”

“I’m not fine, I just want to disappear right now because a part of me has been ripped away from me.” I sighed. “My bed is big enough though, you guys can sleep here because I don’t think I can sleep alone.”

They looked at each other and nodded, “Well, what are best friends for?” Andrew smiled at me and we proceeded to finish our breakfast.