The Lost Angel

Chapter 19

I was standing on the shore in Cork, Ireland. By the time we were able to end the lock down and finish all of the paperwork, it was three months after his death. Once word had spread everyone in the Agency wanted to send Michael off. It took another week to finally negotiate things. In the end, it was my crew and Adam’s that were included in our trip. John wanted to be here as well but he was dealing with the backlash at home.

The one helping widow within the Agency had been found. The guy had been in love with her forever so it didn’t take her much to convince him to help her. He was no sitting in a cell at our holding facility awaiting trial. There had been nothing linking Widow to anything in the system but her cohort told us everything we needed. Widow was now a fugitive and had been unceremoniously kicked out of the country even. She had no allies with our organization she could get help from. The story had spread like wildfire so no one was willing to even speak her name.

“It’s time Angel.” Jake spoke softly to me as he placed his hand on the small of my back, nudging me forward.

I slowly walked toward the water as memories surfaced. Michael had brought me here once after we had graduated and before his first assignment. He was so happy here that it was only fitting that he should rest here. He had told me he loved me on this trip. Before we left, he told me to always remember him like this. He must have known, somehow, that he would be changed after that first mission.

When his will was revealed after his death, it said that this was the last place where he was truly happy. I don’t think he ever came back here after he left me. I looked into his files and he had refused anything in Ireland altogether. It warmed my heart to think he wouldn’t come here without me.

I was wearing a light blue mini dress that was his favorite. I kept walking until the water came to my knees. It was a little cold but I didn’t feel it. I took the lid off of the urn he was in and began tipping his ashes into the sea. I prayed that the ashes falling into the sea would carry out and be free. I stood to the side as the last of the ashes in the urn fell into the water.

“Goodbye my friend. Return to the mother of us all and may the Goddess protect you in your next life.” I turned and headed towards the shore. “I’m going for a walk, alone.” No one argued or tried to stop me. Jeremy just looked at me and nodded.

I continued to walk off the beach, not even stopping for my shoes. I wandered through town, walking aimlessly without realizing where I was headed. Completely absorbed in my thoughts. I had walked right outside the town. The country side was beautiful with the rolling hills and meadows.

Coming back to myself, I realized that my feet had led me to our picnic spot. On one of the days of our trip, Michael had arranged a picnic outside of town for us. My mind had barely remembered this spot before, but it came back in vivid detail. We had come out here in the evening before dusk to enjoy a dinner together. We sat on a red blanket with a basket between us, I was wearing this same dress. It was night before we realized how long we had been talking and laughing. It had been the most wonderful night.

No one knew that I had secreted some of Michael’s ashes in a vial. His will had stated that he wanted a part of him to be laid to rest with a part of me. I walked into the meadow, away from the road. I sank down into the grass close to the spot we had our picnic. Pulling the knife I had on me out, I dug into the soft ground. Once I was sure that it was deep enough, I removed the vial from the pocket in my dress.

Before dumping the ashes into the ground, I closed my eyes and prayed “Goodbye Michael. You were my first friend and lover when my mind left me. I’m sorry I could never truly love you the way you deserved. As you wanted, I give you a lock of my hair to be buried with your ashes. I pray you find happiness and love in your next life.”

I tipped the vial upside down and allowed his ashes to fall into the hole I had made. Tossing the vial aside, I grabbed a lock of my hair and sliced it off with the knife. A single tear escaped as I filled in the small hole concealing a piece of ourselves into the ground.

Before I stood, I brought the knife to my palm. “As for the one who took your life. Widow, wherever you may be, I will find you and swear that you will pay for your lies and deceit. But most of all you will pay for this death.”

Pulling the knife across my palm, I allowed the blood to drip over the ground. “As witnessed by the Goddess herself, my blood has been spilled and my vow will be fulfilled.”