Lessons in Love

Chapter 29: Our First Fight

POV: Beta Ben Westlake

I’d driven Rick home, but he wouldn’t tell me what happened. I hadn’t wanted to push him. He’d looked so defeated and miserable. I hadn’t had it in me to ask more than “Do you want to talk about it?”

All he had said was “I just want to go home.”

I had walked him to his door and had every intention of going into his suite and making sure he was okay. “Why don’t we blow off the rest of the day?” I had suggested to him. “My father’s visiting Marcus. He’s not going to know we’re missing.” I’d given him a smile.

“I think I just want to lay down for a bit.” He’d said.

“You sure? We could watch a movie.” I had offered. Rick seemed to consider it, but I had seen the cloud of emotions cross his face, and he’d shaken his head. “Rick, I don’t …” I had let out a sigh. “I don’t want to leave you like this.”

Rick had given me a weak smile. “How about after dinner?”

I’d smiled back at him and gave him a pat on the shoulder. With that settled, I had headed back to the school. I had walked back, trying to blow off the anger I was carrying. I had managed to calm down some, but when I walked into the school and called out for her, she gave that glib little reply … I snapped.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I growled at her.

“I beg your pardon?” She raised her eyebrows at my tone.

“You couldn’t leave well enough alone. You had to force it, didn’t you?”

“Force it? Ben I …”

“People grieve at their own pace, Riley! You should know that better than most.” I snapped. “You said it yourself you’re not qualified to help him, and …”

“You have no idea what happened here today.” She said, dropping her guard and letting me feel the anger underneath her calm exterior.

“And you have no idea what happened in that gym!” I screamed at her.

“I’m not doing this.” She said with furious calm. “When you’re ready to have a conversation, where you listen to what I’m saying, I’ll be at home.” She moved to go around me. I reached for her, and she jumped back from me.

“Don’t. Touch. Me.” She leveled a growl so vicious I froze. I felt a hint of fear mix in with her anger. I suddenly found it hard to breathe. I’d frightened her. Riley turned around and left me standing there shaking. I wanted to follow her. I wanted to apologize. I felt my chest get tight, the way it had when we had thought about rejecting each other.

A fear of my own gripped me. I had scared her so badly that she wanted to reject me. The pain in my chest got sharper. I ran out of the school, taking a shortcut through one of the fields to get to her doorstep at the same time she did.

“Riley,” I was out of breath and rubbing my chest. “I’m sorry, please.” I panted.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now.” She growled at me quietly. I knew the volume of that growl was to avoid the neighbors hearing.

“I’m so sorry.” I said, pressing my palm into my chest.

“Please,” she scoffed. “The only thing you’re sorry about is the pain in your chest. I …” she grunted and clutched at her chest. “I don’t want to talk to you right now.” She managed. She hurried up the steps and locked herself inside.

I made my way back to the packhouse. I kept feeling these sharp pains in my chest and a sadness that I wasn’t expecting from her. She hadn’t been angry at all, I realized, she was hurt. I had hurt her and threatened her. The pain intensified, and I had to grip the railing of the main staircase to keep upright. It passed a moment later. I rang the bell at Rick’s quarters. I was a lot earlier than I said I would be, but the pain in my chest was sharp, and I was afraid to be alone suddenly.

When he didn’t answer, I went up to the third floor and knocked on his office door. I had every intention of letting myself in, but the pain that gripped me dropped me to my knees. I reached out with a mind-link, hoping to connect. I was so dizzy from the pain that I honestly didn’t know if I’d gotten my message to him. There were footsteps behind me, then hands under my arms. I was hoisted to my feet and dragged into Rick’s office.

“What’s happening?” He asked.

“Riley,” I gripped my chest, leaning into him.

Rick moved me to a chair and sat me in it. “Sam is going to check on her.” He said a moment later. “I need you to breathe through this, okay?” He pulled my tie off and unbuttoned the top few buttons of my shirt. He was moving around the space after that, and I lost track of him. He reappeared in my line of sight a moment later with a glass of water that he rested on the coffee table in front of me.

“Sam says he’s with Riley.” Rick said. “He needs you both to focus on something positive.” Rick grabbed my shoulders and forced me to sit up straighter. “Ben, you have to do this. You know what could happen if you don’t.”

I did know. I could kill her. I could kill both of us thinking about how ill-matched we seemed to be, about how she wanted to reject me. About how I deserved to be rejected. I was sweating profusely, and the pain made it impossible to breathe for a moment.

“Ben, you’re hurting her right now.” Rick’s voice was incredibly calm considering the circumstances. “You don’t want to hurt Riley, do you?”

“I … already … ARGH!” I growled through another stabbing pain. “Did.” I was able to breathe for a second, but throbbing was so intense. I was lightheaded. I just wanted it all to stop.

“Then apologize.” Rick said. “Practice your apology on me. Right now, what would you say if she was here?”

I opened my mouth to speak, but another bout of pain robbed me of air. My vision was starting to close in around me. Rick was talking to me, but his words were getting lost in the void I was starting to drown in. The door opened behind us, and I smelled jasmine. I felt her fear and her pain. I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted it to end. Sam lay Riley down on the couch, touching her shoulder and her face. Even through the pain, I wanted him to stop pawing at my mate.

Rick’s hands were tight around my face. “I need you to breathe, Ben.” He growled at me. The fear in his eyes made it harder somehow. “Ben, please.” He whispered, shooting a look to the couch.

“Riley!” Sam shook her shoulders. Her face was contorted in pain. She was dying. No, I was killing her. I was doing this. I had to pull myself out of it, but I didn’t know how. My aura was building up inside me, ready to explode. I was already doing enough damage.

“Riley!” Sam grabbed her face roughly. “You have to breathe!”

I blinked, and there was suddenly air in my lungs. I was on the floor somehow. Rick was picking himself up off the floor. I looked to the couch. Sam was on his knees, giving his head a shake. Riley was gasping for air, same as I was. I tried to move toward her, but my body felt heavy. She rolled onto her side, pulling her knees up and curling in on herself. Her face was red, and there were tears pouring down her cheeks as she sobbed.

Rick grabbed my shoulder, and I looked at him. His expression immediately softened. “It’s okay.” He whispered. “You’re both okay.” I closed my eyes and cried a little myself.

Rick helped me up and put me to sit back in the chair. He moved stiffly toward Sam and stretched out his hand. Sam took it, and Rick hoisted him up. Rick seemed calm, but Sam seemed furious.

“You two need to talk this out.” Sam growled at us. “And the next time you want to play ‘reject the mate’ at least have the courtesy to do it in the same room. Your aura, no matter what it feels like to you, helps each other.” Sam’s growl broadened as he moved toward the door.

Rick stood back in front of me for a moment. “I’m going back to my quarters. If you need anything, either of you, just let me know.” He said, gently patting my shoulder. The two of them left us there, panting and afraid.