Lessons in Love

Chapter 78: A Connection

POV: Riley Campbell

Ben was furious with us. I didn’t blame him. He hadn’t been prepared for the curse to be for anyone but him. He walked into our suite and immediately started pacing. The sound of giggling from Claire’s room made him stop and rake his hand through his hair.

“You’re home earlier than I expected.” Claire said with a smile as she came out of the bedroom with Shawna and Lisa. She took one look at Ben and turned to the girls. “Would mind taking these last few bags up? I’ll join you in a moment.” She smiled politely. The girls nodded and left the three of us standing in the living room.

“What happened?” Claire asked, her smile replaced with concern.

Ben sighed. “The curse is for Rick.” He said. “I don’t have all the details,” Ben growled a little as he made eye contact with me. “But it’s not good.” He managed.

“Oh, Ben. I’m so sorry. We all know how much you care about him.” She said, and looked at me expectantly, like I was going to explain everything. I detailed only what Lulu had said downstairs.

“What about the rest of it?” Ben demanded. “You know what the rabbit is all about. Why won’t you tell me?” He growled again.

“I can’t,” I snapped back. “Do you honestly believe I’d keep it from you if I had any choice in the matter? Ben, I meant what I said. I will help you and him in any way I can, but I have to do as Lu asks. She knows what she’s doing, and she won’t hurt Rick. I promise. If she thought he could handle it right now, she would let me tell you everything, but she can’t do anything about the rabbit right now.” I ranted.

“He has nightmares and panic attacks. He had one this morning. He couldn’t even make it up to his suite.” Ben yelled at me. “The council will demand he be stripped of his title if it gets out. Anyone could have seen him. Anyone could have heard us this morning.”

“Ben,” Claire interjected. “You need to calm down.”

Ben growled, turning away from us and raking his hands through his hair. “He needs help. He needs …”

“Ben,” I reached out and touched his arm. I tried to be calm. “I know how scared you are. I’ve seen him have a panic attack, too, and it ripped my heart out. I desperately wanted to take all the hurt and fear away for him. Believe me, I completely understand where you’re coming from.”

“Then why can’t we help him? Why not tell him the truth?” He asked through gritted teeth so he wouldn’t growl.

I sighed, trying to find a middle ground. “He needs to focus on himself. He needs to find a way through what happened during the war, and he won’t be able to do that if he’s worried about the rabbit. It’s likely why Smokey told him he needed to forgive himself before he could catch it.”

Ben let out a long, frustrated breath. “I hate this.” He said softly. “I hate that you can’t tell him, and I hate it even more that you can’t tell me.”

I wrapped my arms around him. “I know, Ben. I promise I will tell you when the time is right.” Ben’s arms snaked around me.

He dropped his chin on the top of my head, and I heard him sigh again. “Okay,” he grumbled.

“It’s going to be okay.” I said firmly into his chest.

“I should get going.” Claire spoke up behind me. “Ben, a word, please.” She said firmly as she moved to the door and opened it. Ben followed her out and closed the door. When he came back in, he looked queasy.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Are you okay?” He asked quietly. “Did I … I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.”

I almost laughed. “Is that what your mother wanted to speak to you about?”

“Yeah,” he looked at his feet. “She’s right, I shouldn’t have.”

“Ben,” I stopped him. “People argue. We can argue. Rick has been your best friend your whole life. You’re allowed to be upset about all this.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes,” I smiled and pulled him into a hug.

He wrapped his arms around me with a sigh. “This isn’t how I wanted tonight to go.” He grumbled.

“I know,” I whispered. “Me neither.” I pulled back and looked up at him. I took his hand and led him to the couch. He sat down, and I snuggled in next to him. “Tell me about the two of you.” I said, burrowing into his shoulder.

“Me and Rick? What do you want to know?” He asked.

“I know you protect and support each other. What did you do that’s just for fun?”

I felt his chest shake with a quiet laugh. “What didn’t we do for fun might be a better question.” He replied. He got quiet, thoughtful for a moment. “We watch movies together, go for runs. When we were kids, we’d lay out in the fields or by the lake sometimes and stargaze. We used to do that a lot.” The sadness in his voice betraying the fact they hadn’t done so in a long time.

“We’d lay there and plan out our futures. Sometimes, we were co-alphas of Sapphire Lake. Other times, we’d run away and make our own pack.” His voice smiled. “If we created our own pack, we'd have called it the Apple Blossom Pack, and we were going to grow huge orchards. It was the only thing we knew how to do.” He laughed. “We stopped doing it when we were teenagers. The last time …” he trailed off.

“What happened?” I asked when he’d fallen silent.

“It’s not a story you want to hear.” Ben said, getting up. “You hungry?”

“Ben, whatever it is, I’ll understand.” I said, getting the distinct impression I may not.

Ben let out a sigh and sat on the coffee table in front of me. “Rick and I have always been close. Closer at times than we were able to understand or were comfortable with.” He said. “There’s always been a connection, something we just … we can feel it. Like a mate bond, but … different. Maybe it’s why we always clung to the co-alpha thing so hard.” He confessed.

Ben took my hands and looked me in the eye. “If I tell you this, you can’t be mad at him ... or me.” His cheeks got pink.

“I won’t judge either of you for something that happened long before I came into your lives.” I promised, but the more build up to the story he gave, the more nervous I was to make any such promise.

“Our birthdays are six weeks apart. My birthday is first and, unsurprisingly, birthdays weren’t a huge deal in my house. So, the night before my eighteenth birthday, Rick took me up to the cave, and we laid there like old times on the ridge looking at the stars. We started theorizing about how we were connected. We joked a bunch, suggesting the same things we had as kids.” Ben paused again.

“We got serious as the night went on, trying to understand the connection, and we wondered if we were mates.” He said quietly. I didn’t react to that. It wasn’t common for same s*x mates, but it certainly wasn’t unheard of. It was a reasonable assumption, I rationalized. Still, I felt jealous of the closeness they shared.

“It was almost midnight when we’d convinced each other that when the clock hit twelve, I’d turn to him and claim his as my mate. We sat there nervously, and when midnight struck and nothing happened, we figured it was because he hadn’t turned eighteen yet. In those six weeks, we were inseparable. More than usual. There was a hum of energy around us when we were together. We were certain that feeling was a mate bond.” Ben’s hands felt damp on mine. He broke eye contact and stared at our clasped hands.

“So, we went back up to the cave, and just before midnight, Rick kissed me, and … I … kissed him back. We …” Ben’s face was beet red, and he clenched my hands tightly. “It was so strange,” he said, seemingly lost in the memory. “The tension between us was different than we’d felt, and that hum that had followed us around for over a month seemed to be making sense in that moment. But when we were done, and I looked at my watch, it was after midnight. We weren’t mates. Rick grabbed his clothes and took off. I didn’t see him for a week after that. He avoided me.” Ben said with a sigh.

“It was months before he’d train with me, like he didn’t want to touch me. When he did start training with me again, that was the only way he made physical contact with me for a long time. When his dad died the following year, I’d put my arm around him to comfort him, and he leaned into me. It had been the first time in more than a year we’d touched each other with anything other than claws or fists. I felt it again that night, that connection.” He said gently.

“That night in the hospital, I couldn’t leave, and I couldn’t explain why, I felt that weird hum between him and I, and I couldn’t. When Lulu said he was part of our power bond, that he was tied to it, I felt that connection again. I haven’t felt it that strong in years, not since his dad died.”

“What does it feel like?” I asked, trying to suppress the jealousy that was starting to boil over.

“It’s not like the mate bond.” He said, making eye contact again. “It’s something different. There’s nothing s****l or romantic to it, but it … it is love in some way. I think that’s why we thought we were mated back then. We didn’t know what a mate bond really felt like. At least I didn’t until now.” He kissed the top of my head again.

“The mate bond is like … it’s love and peace, comfort, but it’s romantic and s****l. The minute I smelled you on that envelope, I knew there was no one in the world I would ever be satisfied with or love as much. The bond I feel with Rick, it’s love and peace and comfort, and I know there is no one in the world other than him that I’m ever going to protect as much I protect him, but that’s where it stops.”

“Does he feel that bond?”

“He did when we were younger, but after his awkwardness on his birthday, I never brought it up again.”

“Maybe you should?” I couldn’t believe I was suggesting it, but if it helped them find a way to get Rick past his trauma, then it would be worth whatever discomfort I felt.