Lessons in Love

Chapter 15: The Longest Short Walk

POV: Beta Ben Westlake

“You okay?” Rick mind-linked me.

“No.” I growled at him.

“What do you need?”

“I don’t know.” I growled, but this time it rattled through my chest. I cut off the link to him. I needed to calm down. My mother gripped my arm a little tighter and slowed our pace.

“I think we should stop at the house quickly and grab a pair of my flat shoes.” She said as she steered us toward the house. “I keep them in your old closet,” she said as we stopped in front of the house. “Would you mind running up and grabbing them for me?” I nodded and headed inside.

I got upstairs and opened the closet of my childhood bedroom. There were no shoes that I could see, but there was a note. ‘Let it out, my brave boy’ was all it said. She knew he was going to do this, and the shoes were a way for me to hide for a minute and let out my anger.

Tears stung my eyes. I didn’t want to do this. Riley would feel it. She would feel everything I was feeling, and none of it was good. I thought about her standing there in front of my father. She had dealt with everything from the aggressive handshake, the dismantling of her teaching position, the tone and aura my father threw at her and she never wavered.

I had felt her rage and her determination. I’d felt her disgust, too when she saw my mother’s swollen eye. She spent thirty seconds with my family and knew more about us than anyone had bothered to notice in my lifetime. She was so much braver than Rick and I had been today. I felt ashamed of us for not standing up for our pack, and I felt ashamed of myself for not defending for her. She had been right to think about rejecting me. I was a coward and she deserved better than the life I could give her. I needed to talk to her. We needed to reject each other, the sooner the better, I thought.

An intense pain ripped through me, and I dropped to one knee clutching my chest. I let my growl surface and my aura push out of me, taking the rage and fear with it. I reigned my aura back in quickly, but the throbbing in my chest continued. I got up, rubbing at my chest, as I went and found mom’s shoes in my parents’ room. I heard the front door burst open and my mother giving instructions as I came down the stairs.

“Sit her on the chair here. Sam, be a dear and grab some water from the kitchen.” She said. I smelled Riley. I smelled her and felt her fear like it was my own. I came down the last few steps and saw Katherine holding her hand and rubbing her back.

“Just take a few deep breaths, Riles.” She cooed at her. I wanted to push Katherine out the way and comfort my mate. I took a step forward when Sam rushed past me with the water, snapping me out of it.

“What happened?” I managed to ask without growling, but I was white knuckling mom’s sandals.

“Riley collapsed on the sidewalk.” Katherine said.

“I didn’t collapse.” Riley protested as she sipped the water tentatively. What had happened scared her badly, and I realized it had been me. My thoughts about rejecting each other had cause her that pain. She looked up at me then. It was my turn to feel regret. She put the water down and started to get up.

“Whoa!” Sam said, forcing her to sit. “I think we should call the doctor.”

“I’m fine,” she insisted. “I think maybe I’ll meet you guys a little later, though.” She said, standing up. “I think I need to … call home.” She said, rubbing her chest. “Luna Claire, thank you for your hospitality.” She said to my mother. She made fleeting eye contact with me.

“I’ll walk you out.” I said stupidly.

“You’ll walk her home.” My mother said, taking her squashed sandals from me.

“That isn’t necessary, Luna Claire.” Riley smiled at her. “He’s your escort today, and I don’t want to keep you from your work.”

“It’s no trouble.” I interjected. “I insist.”

“Your mother insists,” she corrected dryly. “But I suppose I can’t argue with a Luna or a Beta.” She plastered a grin on her face, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

We walked in the most uncomfortable silence. We could feel the questions and concerns mounting between us until the tension was so thick, not even our claws could have cut through it.

“I’m sorry.” I said feebly.

Riley let out a long, slow breath. “No, I’m the one who should be sorry. I was totally distracting you during your father’s speech.” She said, looking up at me.

I made eye contact but couldn’t hold her gaze. The bond felt incredibly intense when I did. “I … uh …” I looked forward again. “It’s okay, this is all just a surprise.”

“Not really,” she snorted. “You’ve known longer than I have.”

I tried to feel her emotions, but she had managed to figure out how to lock them down. “I think I knew your first day here.” I admitted. “I didn’t know it was you until the other night, but I knew the scent was … you sent a letter to the Alpha and Luna. I smelled you off of that. You?”

“Thursday, right before the patrol.” She stared straight ahead. I couldn’t feel her emotions, but I could feel the effort it was taking her to keep them from me. “The acting Alpha’s letter had your scent on it. Rick had told me you’d given it to him, so it was easy to put the pieces together.”

“I thought I was going crazy for two weeks. Rick would smell like the letter sometimes and Sam, but they’d also been helping Hannah at the greenhouse, so it never occurred to me that my ma… you were actually here.” I stumbled over my words.

“Can I ask …” she sighed and shook her head.

“Anything.” I replied quickly. I was blowing this, I thought, and ran a frustrated hand through my hair. I felt a spark of arousal from her before she locked herself down again, and we both blushed.

“You were really angry the other night. I just wondered what happened?” She managed to ask.

“I was having dinner with my parents when my father informed me that he was going to be acting Alpha.” I said quietly, not wanting anyone else to hear me. “I want to explain everything, I just …” I looked around.

“I understand.” She said. “The fields have ears.” She smiled at me, and I imagined what it would be like to kiss those lips. Her face went red. She’d felt my wanting to.

“Give me your number,” I said, pulling out my phone. “We can have this conversation privately.” She gave me her number, and I texted her right away, hearing her phone ding in her pocket. “I should warn you; I’m going to be a little all over the place today.” I admitted to her. “I’ll do my best to lock it down, but he can be a lot.”

“I will try not to add to that.” She gave me an understanding smile. “Thanks for walking me home, Beta Ben.” She said with a slight bow as we reached her porch. I chuckled and felt a wave of excitement roll off her. It wasn’t s****l. It was just happy.

“I’m here to serve, madam.” I said with a bigger bow and was rewarded with the sound of her laughter. I needed to hang on to that sound, that feeling. I felt hope, warmth, and happiness at that perfect sound, and I knew innately it would be my lifeline today.