Lessons in Love

Chapter 21: Roasted Apples

POV: Riley Campbell

A wave of guilt and shame rolled through the room before Ben locked himself down. I felt hollow, not feeling his emotions so suddenly. “Who do you mean?” I asked gently, but the bruise on his jaw left me one pretty solid guess.

“My father.” He growled viciously, his claws poking through his fingertips into the padding of the chair back. I flexed my aura at him. Not much, just enough that he could feel it. Curse or not, we appeared to be acting like mates. My aura was supposed to have a calming effect on my mate. The minute it reached him, I heard him exhale heavily, and his body relaxed. His claw retracted, and he drew a slow, deep breath full of my scent into his lungs.

“I ran away from home when I was nine.” He said quietly, not moving from his spot. His hair dangled in front of his lowered face, and I wanted desperately to push it back off his face so I could see him properly.

“Rick said it would be obvious I’d run away if I packed a bag, so he told me to go stay in this cave we’d found near the lake. He would bring me what I needed to live there. He told me to go catch a pheasant and that we’d have a big meal celebrating my freedom. So, the first night, I went out hunting and came up empty-handed.” He shook his head with a chuckle. “I was hungry, so I snuck into the orchard and stole some apples.” He straightened up then and ran his hand through his hair. I locked myself down so he wouldn’t feel how attractive I found it.

“The next night, Rick arrives with a handful of herbs and a change of clothes.” Ben smiled. “He’d brought rosemary and thyme because that’s what his mother used when she cooked pheasant. We didn’t have pheasant, but we cut up the apples and used the herbs on them instead. We ate like kings. Very poor kings,” he laughed. “But kings nonetheless.” He looked at me then. I felt the bond between him and Rick. The love between them that this memory seemed to make Ben feel. It was why the scent of those apples was his mate scent.

“There was no moon that night, just stars. They reflected off the lake below us and we sat out there all night talking about how we were going to be warriors together, and become officers together, and one day, we’d be co-alphas of the greatest pack there ever was.” He smiled, lost in the memory of that night. The smile in his eyes faded before the smile on his lips did, and I felt a sadness building in him.

“When Rick got home the next morning, my father was waiting for him. When Rick and his parents wouldn’t tell him where I was, my father took Rick from his parents’ house and locked him in the dungeon. Rick never liked being alone in the dark, but after that …” Ben’s voice got thick, and he cleared his throat.

“There were Rogues locked up in the dungeon with him. No lights. They teased and taunted him for three days in the pitch black of that hole. Rick still didn’t tell my father where I was. Marcus made him release Rick, so my father went home and beat my mother within an inch of her life. I felt her dying, and I came home. She spent a week in the hospital because I ran away.” He took a deep breath and looked away from me.

“She was in the hospital for eight days exactly.” He said, reaching his right hand to his left shoulder and scratching the spot absently. “He kept track by marking me with a silver blade. Eight little marks lined up like soldiers.” Ben slowly dropped his hand and looked up at me. His expression was blank, but I felt his shame and regret so strongly that I almost questioned if they were my own.

“My actions have consequences.” He said quietly. “Consequences that everyone around me ends up taking the brunt of.” Ben moved around the chair and sat down in it. “Riley, if we’re mates, we need to hide it from him until we can figure out how to get our pack back from him. He’s going to find a way to hurt you, and I … I can’t allow that.” He growled.

“And if we’re not,” I said calmly. “We need to hide it from him in case there’s more to the curse we don’t know. I’ve already asked my Aunt Cindy and my friend Lulu to come help us. Lu is a witch. She’ll be able to tell us if we’re mates, cursed, or both, and she’ll be able to help us break the curse if that’s what it is.”

Ben nodded, and we sat there in silence for a while, just dealing with the fallout of what we’d shared. I watched closely, trying to gauge where he was at. His shoulders twitched occasionally, like he was uncomfortable in his shirt. He flexed his fingers at times, and I saw it was a reflex to them shaking. He appeared calm on the outside, but it was clear, even with his emotions blocked from me, that he was utterly terrified. I felt a pain in my chest forming, like I’d experienced the day before.

“Ben,” I broke the silence. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“He’s going to hurt you.” He replied quietly. “And I’m …” he swallowed and shook his head. “I’m not going to be able to stop him. You …” Ben grunted and rubbed his chest. “You deserve a mate who can protect you.”

“Ben,” I pressed my palm into my chest against the pain.

“I don’t think I can,” he drew a jagged breath. “I can’t … it’s why I never wanted …” he groaned, doubling over in the chair and clutching his chest.

The pain was intense. “Stop.” I said firmly, pushing my aura out around us again. It hit Ben a little harder than I had intended, and he slumped in his chair at the sudden calmness that washed over him. The pain dropped to a dull throb, but it was still there.

“Neither of us have ever wanted this.” I said quietly. “I don’t want to belong to you or anyone else. I want to be my own person. I can only imagine what has left you hoping you never found your mate, but maybe that’s why we’re matched.”

“You think this is real now?”

“I don’t know.” I said honestly. “Logically, a curse is more likely. The way you’re reacting to my aura, though. I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Can a curse replicate that?”

“Speaking of which,” he said breathlessly. “Can you reign that back in? I think you’re calming me into a coma with it.” He shuffled and straightened up, blinking his eyes a few times like he was fighting off sleep. I pulled it back immediately, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’m sorry,” I started.

“No, don’t be.” He smiled at me. “It felt amazing.” His face went red, and he ran his fingers through his hair, looking away as he did.

“I showed you mine,” I joked.

His face got serious as his eyes snapped back to mine. “I’ll hurt you.” He said seriously.

“You can’t hurt me with your aura.” I said reassuringly.

“I don’t have that kind of control, Riley. It just explodes everywhere and all over everyone. I could knock you off that bench if I tried.”

I slid off the bench and sat on the floor. “Problem solved.” I smiled.

Ben stood up and paced a little. He clearly didn’t like this idea, but his curiosity was getting the better of him. He moved as far away from me as he could get and let it loose. His whole aura hit me all at once. I gasped for air at the suddenness of it. He started to pull back, but I held my hand up.

“It’s okay,” I said breathlessly. “It doesn’t hurt.” I reassured him. It didn’t hurt. The serenity I felt was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. It was like having everyone who loved you hug you at once. I felt safe and warm and loved. I felt this rage in his aura, but it wasn’t directed at me. It was as if it was directed at everyone and everything that had ever harmed me. I was trying to figure that out when it all suddenly stopped.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered and turned immediately, released the door lock, and ran up the stairs.

“Ben, wait!” I called after him and realized my voice sounded emotional. I wiped my hand across my face and felt tears. “s**t!” I muttered. I grabbed my flower and ran upstairs after him. He was pacing the gym, breathing heavily.

“Ben, you didn’t hurt me. It was happy tears; I swear to you. I’ve never felt anything like that in my life.” I said. “Your aura is … it’s …” I felt myself getting choked up again. He was so terrified that even though he was locking his emotions down, I felt it bleeding through the bond. “It was gentle and sweet, and it … I can’t explain it. It was amazing. Please, Ben, your aura could never hurt me.”

His fear seemed to lessen, but he still seemed unsure of what had just happened.

He looked at me, and I saw the doubt in his eyes. For a moment, before he turned away, I thought I saw tears in his eyes. My heart ached to touch him, to hold him and reassure him.

“Ben, you know I’m not hurt. You can feel it. I’m not hiding anything from you right now.” I said gently. Ben nodded, but he didn’t make eye contact. “Look at me, I’m perfectly fine.”

If we were a power bond, then this was the greatest injustice that needed to be corrected, I thought, staring at him. His father had made him so afraid that Ben didn’t believe something he could feel. Ben stuffed his hands in his pockets, and his eyes finally connected with mine. I gave him a shy smile, and that seemed to lessen his worry further, but I could see it wasn’t fully gone.

“We should wait for the others outside.” He said quietly, turning for the door. “It’ll be better to have this meeting in the elementary school.” He added over his shoulder.