Break me

Chapter 6

At first not a sound could be heard then a few moans pieced through abyss. No one wanted to move, it hurt too much. Everyone’s heads rang with pain. Jai was still holding me, I was still below his body, feeling crushed, but this time we were on the roof surrounded by chaos. Why is this happening. Kacy was now under the open gurney, groaning in pain. Marcus was against the dented doors; he had a cut on his arm, that I could see rippling down. Trisha, Kale and Mama were stacked on top of each other with equipment all around them. The van looked as though a hurricane went through it. Marcus shook himself awake, dizzily got to his feet and decided he was going to do something. With the little energy he had left, he started kicking the doors. After the fifth attempt the crumpled doors violently swung open. He jumped out, groaning as his feet touched the ground and went around to the front.  

Jai began wake too and started to slightly shift his weight off of me, almost simultaneously he yelped in pain. I could almost feel the pain he was in. A silver scalpel was piecing his leg. He looked around for someone to help but everyone else was barely awake except me. He was breathing heavily down my neck. I could almost feel the panic in his breaths. In a low voice, "you have pull it out..now". I inhaled deeply and wrapped my fingers around the cold steel, I felt my body shaking a little.  

I held my breath and closed my eyes for a few seconds to somehow convince myself into doing this and to calm my shaking body. Jai lowered his head and gripped onto his shirt that I was wearing. He teeth scrapped through the material against my skin, causing me to shiver in response. His teeth clenched onto the delicate material preparing himself for the pain to come. I whispered in a soft voice, one…two…three and pulled. The scalpel slid out gracefully. Jai groaned in pain then fell silent. He let his body fall closer onto mine. Only our heavy breaths could be heard. After a few minutes, he pushed himself up and off of me. I forced myself painfully to sit up. Everything ached. I still had the bloody scalpel in my hand while I watched his every move.  

He throw a couple this around, looking for a first aid kit, but everything was everywhere. You could see the pain and frustration getting to him. Eventually he gave up and stood there for moment just staring at everything and breathing deeply. When his eyes finally landed on me, they turned dark. I felt my whole shiver at the look he was giving me. What was he looking at. I surveyed my body, to see what introduced the intense stare. As I looked down and saw that his white shirt had skillfully lift itself, in the chaos, to align with my simple frill black panties. My face flushed red, as I fisted the shirt back down to my thighs. I hear a growl from him. I couldn't even bring myself to look at him. After a few seconds, I hearing his shoes hitting the metal roof, I knew he was approaching me. My whole body felt like it was burning. He bent down slowly till he was right in front of me. I still couldn't bring myself to look at him. I left his breath brushing my face and I knew he was getting closer to me. His lips were almost on my ear. He whispered in a deep voice, "Don't hide from me, or next time I will be sure not control myself". I felt his finger run up my thigh, burning feather touches, till he reached the bottom of the shirt. I was holding my breath, eyes tightly shut. In a second, I hear a small rip and then a longer rip. My eyes shot open. He had ripped a small long strip of the material from the bottom of the shirt. The shirt was shorter but just a little higher up on my thigh. He had the a wicked smirk on his face as he bandaged his would with the shirt piece. I  got up to punch the smirk off his face but my bruised ribs halted. I stumbled and he swiftly caught a hold of me before i fell. "Falling for me, are we?" I pushed him away, growling angrily at his response. He just chuckled. I refused to let him get the better of me, so I ignored him and walked to the pile of my friends and Mama, who finally waking up. Mama sat up slowly, both Jai and I stood horrified as we saw her arm violently swinging. Her arm was out its socket and it looked wickedly horrible. Mama simply pushed it back into place without ease. Jai and I shivered at the site and noise of it popping back in.  

Marcus and Jai’s dad ran back to us shortly after. They looked panic stricken. Jai’s dad‘s head was bleeding and he was shouting that they were coming. Jai and Marcus instantly grabbed Trisha, Kale and Kacy, who looked worse than after they were shot. They helped them out of the van. They were still regaining consciousness fully and we needed to be running by now. The van had ended up in a deserted field with no sign of help around, mostly boulders and dying trees. No green vegetation in site. The Black SUV, that I assume hit us, had two dead bodies inside. We paid no attention to that and we started a brisk walk away from the van and hid behind boulders, trees or anything that could keep us from getting caught. We were too weak to run further away.

I was behind a medium sized boulder by myself; I could see Jai, Mama and Kacy behind another one, closer to the road. I couldn’t see anyone else from where I was. The morning sun was blazing over us now, and we all hid silently, praying no one would see us. There was a gun shot, then only its echo ripped through the waste land. I could feel my body telling me to run but I couldn’t move. I peeked over the rock to see if someone was coming towards me but there was no one, not a person to be seen. I couldn’t see Jai or anyone else anymore. Where did they go. I lowered again and pressed my face into the warm rock. The warmth soothed me, cleared my mind to think of what I should do next.

I felt like there was someone watching me but I couldn’t see anyone. I turned my aching body so my back leaned into the rock. I put my head back and closed my eyes, and thought maybe they gave up and left, if only it would be that easy, maybe they decided they would carry on this fight on another day. I smiled at my ignorance. When did anyone ever go easy on us in that hell hole. The broken were not allowed to hope. Then… snap! A twig snapped in front of me. My eyes shot open and a man, fairly tall, very strong looking and very scary stood there. I opened my mouth but no sound came out. I couldn’t escape. The boulder that I took safety behind was now my cage. He stepped toward me and grabbed me by the neck and with one swift gesture I was off the ground, dangling in the air, fighting to breathe. I knew that if I didn’t do something now, I would surely die from this devil’s hand. I couldn’t think of a way to get out of this position.  

My body started to became numb, it’s a state I can’t really explain and I looked the man straight in the eye. When the numb takes over my body, it is like another person is holding my body. A ruthless person. I see everything I am doing but I can’t stop myself. With a strained voice I tell him to put me down. My grip on his hand tightens. He laughs hysterically and I tell him in an almost whisper “Virgo Mortis”. He released me instantly and I fell to the ground coughing for air. I regained my composure quickly. I stood up, I wish I knew what this person invading my body looked like. I know it brought fear into anyone who looked upon it. I broke the strongest of men back then. He backed away from me ever so slightly, fear etched in his face. He opened his mouth to say something then closed it. I stared at him, with no control of my body, my consciousness screaming at me to stop, but the other me didn’t listen. I walked straight up to him and he kneeled before me. I felt her smile, an evil smile. I see a glint of light shine straight into my eye and that’s when I saw the silver blade was still in my hand. I screamed internally “No, don’t do it”. I smiled a wicked smile. I swung my hand across with the scalpel and it hit his neck. It went so swiftly and cut so easily. He collapsed, trying to stop the bleeding. A few seconds later there was no life left in his eyes. I stared emotionless. The whole situation was emotionless for me. Inside I am screaming in anguish. I took another life. I wished on many occasions when I was in this state that I had no memories of what I had done, but it was the opposite I remember every detail. 

Marcus appeared a few seconds later. The numbness was already out of my system, I was on the ground shaking. When he reached me. He was hesitant at first seeing the body, blood and blade still in my hand. He touched my shoulder and stiffened and held the scalpel tighter in my hand. He told me softly that he was going to picked me up. In a moment I was in his hands. I passed out as I did many times before after having these episodes. I hated myself but mostly the evil man for turning me this way. Marcus moved quickly to where everyone else was. They were standing on the side of the road. Kacy screamed when she saw me but mama covered her mouth before she gave our positions away, in case there were more men around. Her muffled scream brought me back and I looked at them confused. I asked what happened. No one really had an answer for me. To my surprise I didn’t realize I was soaked with the man’s blood. Marcus replied for me, “You don’t want to know”. The memory rushed back, and I looked away guiltily. Kacy stared at me, sighed, an whispered "I know..." Trisha squeezed Kacy's arm to stop her. Jai gave Kacy, Trisha and Marcus a questioning look. Marcus put me down and Jai instantly moved to my side and asked if I was hurt. I shook my head, not making eye contact with him. When he was sure I wasn’t hurt, he hugged me lightly, minding my bruises, and apologized, but before I could ask why and a black Mercedes pulled up next to us and Jai’s dad was hustling us into it. It was another tight squeeze but by that point we were beyond caring about the heat, the smell and the pain. Jai’s parents didn’t tell us where we were going and we didn’t ask. We all just passed out and hoped this car wouldn’t crash too.