Sin With Me

11

“Welp, I think we’ll get going and let you get some rest,” says Chris, speaking for himself and Ethan, who seem to operate as one unit, always arriving and departing together. They approach Chloe’s bed and say their good-byes—each of them bending to give her a kiss on the cheek, then bumping fists with A.J.—and then trade hugs with Nico, Kat, and Barney. They then shake hands with Thomas and Elizabeth, who are both high as kites with pride and look as if they might go out dancing after this.

From his chair, Kenji lifts his bejeweled left hand in Chris and Ethan’s general direction. Instead of the kiss it appears Kenji is expecting, Chris shakes his pinky finger. Grinning, Ethan does the same.

Kenji heaves a sigh and waves them off like a pair of misbehaving children.

Brody asks them, “See you at the housewarming next Saturday?”

Chris nods with so much enthusiasm I worry his neck might snap. “Dude, can’t wait to see the new pad! We’ll totally be there.”

“What can we bring,” chimes in Ethan, “besides hookers?”

At the same time, Kat and Chloe shout, “NO HOOKERS!” startling Elizabeth so much she jumps, sloshing champagne down the front of her Chanel jacket.

“Only kidding, dudes!” says Ethan, laughing. “Chill.”

“I’ll give you chill,” growls Chloe.

A.J. puts his face into his hands and tries unsuccessfully to smother his laughter.

“You don’t have to bring anything,” says Brody, grinning. “I’m all set.” He walks to Chloe and carefully places Abby in her arms, then turns back to the guys. “Four o’clock, okay?”

Ethan and Chris agree, trade fist bumps with Brody and hugs with me, and take their leave.

Which is when Brody turns to me and pins me in his stare. “You’re coming, right?”

Is it me, or was that a double entendre? And why am I hoping it was? God, I need to get away from this person as soon as possible.

I finish my glass of champagne in one swallow. “I didn’t realize I was invited.”

“Of course you’re invited,” he says, as if I’m an i***t. “You’re core.”

“Core?”

He nods, making me admire the way his hair falls over the collar of his shirt. It’s really quite pretty hair, glossy and thick, very soft-looking, meant to be touched—

Oh for f**k’s sake. I should just jump out the window and put myself out of my misery.

I shoot a desperate glance at Thomas to see if he’ll read my mind and offer a refill on my champagne, but he’s too distracted with his new granddaughter at the moment, so I’m on my own with my raging hormones.

Brody says, “Yeah. Core. You know,” he makes a lazy circle in the air with his forefinger. “Part of the inner circle.”

And now, for the coup d’état, my v****a decides it would very much like to get acquainted with Brody’s finger, because hearing him say “core” and “inner circle” in conjunction with that clockwise motion of his tapered finger sends a bolt of pure lust through me, making my p***y actually throb.

Finally my brain has had enough of this nonsense. It shouts at me in no uncertain terms, STOP.

Attraction is one thing. I understand attraction. It’s simple, it’s straightforward, everyone knows what to expect: bada bing, bada boom, now get your ass outta my bedroom. What I feel for Brody goes so far beyond attraction it’s not even in the same universe.

Which is exactly why it’s so dangerous.

And why I need to stop this madness before it has a chance to get worse.

My smile is pinched. Avoiding his searching gaze, I say coolly, “Thank you for the invitation, but I’m busy next Saturday.”

I turn stiffly away from him, set my empty champagne glass on a nearby console, go over to Chloe, and kiss her on the forehead. “I’m leaving, too, but I’ll be back tomorrow, okay?”

Chloe nods. “I’m not sure how long we’ll be in here, so give me a call first. They might let me go home later tonight.”

I’m aghast. “Already?”

She chuckles. “It’s not a hotel, Grace. Plus I’m anxious to get into my own bed.”

“Oh no!” I cry, remembering something.

Chloe looks startled. “What’s wrong?”

“I never checked the thread count on the sheets or bought you candles from the gift store!”

Chloe shakes her head and laughs. “The things you worry about.”

“I want you to be comfortable!”

Blue eyes shining, she gazes up at me. Her smile is the definition of angelic. She says softly, “Oh, Gracie, I’m more comfortable than I’ve ever been in my entire life.”

I know she’s not talking about the bed.

I stare at them for a moment—my beautiful friend and her perfect baby, the man who literally took a bullet for them seated by their side—and realize with a pang in my chest that today’s firsts are still coming.

Because I’m experiencing another emotion I’ve never felt before. It’s ugly, cold, and dangerous, like a snake unfurling inside my belly. I recoil from it exactly as I would if it were a hissing snake about to lash out and sink its fangs into my leg.

It’s longing so sharp I can taste it, wanting so deep I feel it in my bones.

It’s jealousy.

I’m flooded with shame and confusion. This isn’t me, this person. This person who sheds tears and feels envy and can’t manage to control her hormones around an attractive man.

I don’t like this person. Whoever she is, I have to lock her in a box and throw away the key because she’s far too volatile to be trusted.

I force a smile. “Love you, honey.”

Chloe smiles back. “Love you, too.”