Sin With Me

18

“Yeah, I’ve gotta figure out the whole breastfeeding versus alcohol consumption thing. I can’t have a drink if Abby needs to eat within a few hours, and considering she always needs to eat within a few hours, I’m pretty much out of luck.” Chloe smiles. “Not that I mind. I’d make that trade-off any day.”

I take a seat at the round wooden kitchen table and reach for my drink. “How are you not even tired? You look like you just got back from vacation!”

Chloe’s smile grows soft. Her blue eyes glow with warmth. “Turns out the drummer from Bad Habit is a natural-born baby whisperer. Believe it or not, I’m sleeping almost all the way through the night because every time Abby makes the slightest peep, he picks her up and she goes quiet. Even when I’m breastfeeding she always looks right at him, and has to be holding his finger. He’s doing everything from changing diapers to giving her a bath. He’s been amazing.”

I’m a little surprised by this information. “He can do all that?”

Chloe nods. “The mobility and independence training he’s been getting since the operation has been incredible. He’s taken to it like a duck to water. I honestly think there isn’t anything he couldn’t also do when he was sighted.” She smiles. “Except drive. Though as far as he’s concerned, the jury’s still out on that.”

“Oh, sweetie,” I say softly, reaching out to squeeze her hand. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Me, too.”

There’s something strange in Kat’s voice that makes Chloe and me look at her. She inhales a long, trembling breath, and then guzzles the rest of her margarita.

“Kat?” says Chloe, reaching for her hand. “What’s wrong?”

“No.” She shakes her head. “I’m not raining on your parade.”

“My parade is your parade,” says Chloe. “Talk.”

“It’s really not a big deal.”

“Don’t make me beat it out of you.”

“I’m fine, honestly—”

“Cut the crap,” interrupts Chloe. “We’re family. Talk.”

Her hands shaking, Kat pours herself another margarita. Then she blows out a hard breath, sweeps her hair off her face, and looks at us.

“Nico and I have been trying to get pregnant. And it’s not happening. I got my period today. And I’m . . . because of what happened before . . . I’m afraid . . . there might be something wrong with me.” She looks at the tabletop. In a quieter voice she says, “I’m afraid I won’t be able to give Nico the family he wants, and then . . .”

She trails off into silence. Her face is pale and somber. I feel every ounce of her pain, exactly as if it were my own.

“And then you’ll adopt,” I say gently.

She looks up and meets my eyes. She whispers, “That’s what he said. But—”

“No buts. If he’s on board with that idea, there’s no problem. Have you seen a doctor yet?”

Kat shakes her head. “I’ve been too freaked out to go. I know it’s stupid, but I’m worried what I might find out.”

“We’ll make an appointment for next week and go with you,” Chloe declares.

“I agree. Denial isn’t the way to deal with this, sweetie.”

Kat looks at me. Her big green eyes flash with sudden anger. “Excuse me, but you’re in no position to be talking to me about denial, Grace!”

I’m taken aback by the force in her tone. “What do you mean?”

“I mean this whole Brody situation you’re so determined to pretend isn’t happening!”

Enunciating every word, I say calmly, “There is nothing happening between me and Brody.”

“You can deny it all you want, but I’ve never seen you look at a man like that.”

I can’t resist. I have to know. Even though this is dangerous territory, I’m going in. “Like what?”

“Hopefully.”

I laugh. “Honey, the only time I’ve ever looked at a man hopefully is right before I unzip his pants for the first time and I’m praying he’s packing more than five inches.”

Kat shakes her head. “Fine. Don’t admit it. But it doesn’t change what I saw.”

“Maybe you need to get your eyes checked.”

In a flat, no-nonsense tone, Chloe says, “You realize we know you too well for you to get away with this tough-chick act you try to pull, right?”

Kat and I look at her in surprise. Chloe rarely calls anyone out on their s**t, and when she does, she feels so guilty afterward she always apologizes and says she didn’t mean it.

Right now she doesn’t look guilty. She actually looks a little mad.

Maybe being a mother is bringing out the tiger in her.

“It’s not an act, Chloe. I actually am very tough.”

She retorts, “Only on the outside.”

Impressed, Kat blinks at her. “Go on, girl. Preach.”

Encouraged by the traitor, Chloe leans forward. “I’ve seen the way you look at Brody, too. And not only that, but I saw the way you looked at Abby when you first held her. And the way you looked at her when you just came in.”

She stares at me with a challenge in her blue eyes.

I say drily, “Your large, beast-like child is uncommonly pretty, Chloe. I like pretty things. That’s all.”

Chloe scoops up a handful of chips and chucks them at me. They smack me on the chest before I can duck out of the way. “Hey!”

“Take that back!”