Chapter 4 - Who wants churross OR Rofl wur u (1)
562 Words
Okay, I need a plan to survive.
Let's first do a complete review of my situation:
So, I have a super powerful being of rank 400 that fires laser rays with his eyes and is moving as fast as me, and… rocks.
A millions of kilometers wide rock field.
Shit.
I know! I'm going to disguise myself!
Let's see, what kind of costume is it perfectly logical to use in this situation…
Well, I could disguise as the other bastard and hope he takes me as someone from his species…
No.
No originality in the cosplay if I do this…
I know!
[…]
The being turns around the rock to find right before him…
A nekomimi pushing a trolley.
This trolley has two wheels on its front and two legs on its back, where a handle allows one to lift the trolley's back part.
This neko shouts:
-Nyah! Who wants churros! Who wants churros! 1 euro! 1 euro! Who wants churros! Who wants churros! 2 euros! 2 euros! Meow!
There is in fact only one possible reaction to this scene…
-… *facepalm*
[…]
Fuck what is he doing, it's been 1h he's looking at me! Did I crash his brain? Blue screen? Windows update? Windows getting ready? Restarting? Windows getting ready yet again? The welcome of the session opening that lasts forever?
Well, anyway, I am starting to have a sore throat after all of this.
-Nyaaaah! Who wants churros! Who wants churros! Meoooooowwwwwwwwwww!!!
Oops, that last one ended up closer to a wolf that howls to the moon than a cat… But well, there's not any chance for him to see the difference.
His eyes are suddenly becoming clear, and he's slashing his claws at me!
Claws????? Oh, it's new, it's true the author is taking advantage of the fact he didn't make any description so he can whatever he wants because no one can say it's false!
-Nyaaaah!!!
He tore apart my clothes!
No! Yamete! Don't push the pause button! Stop making fanarts and ero doujinshis! Nyaaaaahhh!
So, more seriously, after this invulnerability time given by the fanservice that forced his 4 first claws attacks to only tear apart my clothes without touching me, I have to flee!
The next blow could kill me! It would be a pain to die the heart pierced after such a magnificent fan service scene! I would feel like in high school DxD!
Let's go! Let's run away!
But thanks to the fanservice scene, I obtained more budget!
I now have the capacity to dig the indestructible soil on the condition that I stay less than 4 seconds in.
You know, unstable foundations, the gravity being way too strong for any tunnel to survive it, all of that.
You'll ask the local Portuguese for more details. [1]
[1] That's a blatant shitty joke about the 1.5 million Portuguese immigrants that came to France in the 70's. A lot of them became masons or did similar manual jobs. While a significant portion of that population is still in the same situation, things evolved since the 70's as their children could do studies and get better jobs. Anyway, all of that to say don't sue me it's a joke, this novel basically joked about everything now, which means it never had any political orientation.
- Writer
