BORN LUCKY

CHAPTER 3

“…..what?” I looked back at Amber with a confused and defeated face. I felt like I had heard her wrong even though I genuinely knew that I didn’t.

Amber leaned on my door frame with her arms crossed. She had a smirk on her face, she looked at me with hazel eyes filled with amusement. Her light brown hair was done up in a ponytail. She was taller than me, so most of the time, I always had to look up at her slightly, especially with her momentum. She wore a pink halter dress that showed her long legs. Her feet were adorned with stiletto heels.

She looked so different from me.

I had messy red hair, and bloodshot eyes, and I wore a very old sweater with faded plaid skirt and I was barefoot.

No one could tell that we were siblings, talk less sister.

“You heard me, rags.” A new nickname was unlocked.

“I heard you failed your exam. I guess you really are a failure and a disappointment. Don’t you feel horrible right now? Horrible enough to kill yourself? I hope so. You would be doing everyone a favor if you weren’t here.” She c****d her head to the side and smiled.

I trembled. Tears burst out of my eyes. I couldn’t hold it in. It was too painful. At that moment, I felt so much pain, it was suffocating. I didn’t even question how she knew this. Perhaps she had my email with her and curiously checked it. I was sure the university would have sent an email. I had finally made a big joke of my life. Now, this family would never love me. A part of me hoped that after I left, they would realize that they loved me. Yes, it was a pathetic wish. At the end of the day, they were my family, I yearned for their love. In the name of love, I decided to set out and wait. So maybe they would remember me, regret and finally want me back.

But that was impossible.

I would probably be dead before that happened.

“Oh! Come on~ spare me the waterworks. I could care less for your bullshit. What were you expecting, that you would pass? Please! Monkeys would grow wings, and fins and breathe fire before that happens. Go outside and touch some grass, okay? You have failed. As usual.” Amber giggled as she said this. She looked so happy and joyful. Like this was the best thing that had happened to her all day. No. All week.

It hurt. She stood there laughing as I stood opposite her whimpering like an injured animal. I bit my bottom lips to prevent my voice from coming out. It didn’t work. I bit it so hard that I cut my own lips. The pain from the cut could not compare to how my heart felt like.

Suddenly, my phone rang again. I looked at it, it was Avia. I paused. Then I remembered how Avia had cried just the day before because of her results and here I was, in the same state as her crying my eyes out. I wondered if this was retribution from one of the gods I had prayed to. Perhaps it was retribution for taking Avia’s feelings lightly. Now, just like Avia, I was crying, but unlike her, I had no one beside me to comfort me, just an evil sister that was taking delight in my sufferings. When I picked up the call, my sister walked away, delighted.

I needed comfort.

“Nora, can you come over? I have something to tell you.” Avia said.

I was quiet for a moment. I was finding my voice. I couldn’t let her know I was crying.

“Yeah. Sure.” My voice was scratchy. I was choking on my own voice.

“Okay. Hurry!” Avia said before she hung up.

I exhaled, I still couldn’t stop crying. I ran into the bathroom and ran under the shower. I turned the valve and let the water hit my face and wet my clothes as I bawled. I crouched down into a ball and cried for a few minutes.

After a minute, I had to leave. I would catch a cold if I stayed there and my eyes were dry, it felt like I had run out of tears.

I quickly cleaned up and changed my clothes. When I was ready, I stared at my reflection in the mirror, I looked like a trainwreck. My face was blotchy and swollen. My eyes were obviously red. Avia would definitely notice. I frowned.

When I finally got to Avia’s house, I was met with a face filled with smiles.

I was confused.

“What happened?” I asked her.

“Guess what?” She asked me back, excited. I was quiet. I didn’t know what to say. I had to urge to blurt out the truth about my situation but I couldn’t. Avia didn’t seem to notice my abnormality. I couldn’t do that to her.

“Come on~ say something!!” Avia urged. I tried to force a smile. It came out as a grimace but for some reason, Avia didn’t address it.

“Just tell me. What? Did you finally get the puppy you wanted?” I ask her while glancing around her room for any signs of an animal. There wasn’t so that probably wasn’t it.

“No. Silly. I got in!” Avia said.

I paused and stared at her in confusion. I didn’t know what she was saying but for some reason, at the same time, I did know what she meant. I couldn’t believe it.

“You got in? To what? Where?” I asked her carefully.

Avia grinned and pushed me to her computer screen.

And there it was. An acceptance letter from EXO University. It was similar to the one I had received the day before, but Avia’s was different. There were some parts that apologized for the previous rejection.

I was stumped.

What was going on? One day, I’m accepted and the next I’m not? Now, Avia got the chance instead?

I couldn’t think.

“When….did this happen?” I asked her. I found it hard to control my emotions. I couldn’t be happy for her…

“Just this morning! You should’ve seen me! I was jumping around like a monkey!! Hahaha, now we can go to school together!!” Avia was happy. I should be happy for her. I had messed up my admission. Perhaps there was originally a mix-up previously and the original acceptance was for Avia, who knows. I felt all my confidence melt.

All I could do at that moment was smile. It was a strange smile. It felt strained and pained. It was obviously forced but Avia seemed too preoccupied celebrating to notice my face.

I did it. I smiled. With bloodshot, watery eyes, but it was a smile nonetheless.

At least one of us could be happy.

This was the same smile I gave Avia a few days later when she finally left for college. Without me.

I had to smile. I reasoned. She was my best and only friend, I couldn’t be a bad person and not be happy for her. For Avia, I smiled through the pain.

Through my tears.

Through my hardship.

Through my failed future and a chance to escape.

I just knew I was lost now. I had been left behind in time, left to rot with my toxic family accelerating the process of decomposition.

Amber was right. I felt bad enough to die now.