MONTE COSTA SERIES 3: INNOCENT TIDES

Kabanata 22

"DOES it still hurt?" Linel asked in a low voice while they were on the tub.

Nakasandal si Evangeline sa hulmado nitong dibdib habang yakap naman siya nito sa bandang balikat. A part of her still couldn't process everthing that just happened. Pakiramdam kasi niya ay para siyang ipinasok sa isang panaginip.

She looked up and met his concerned gaze. "No," she answered in a breathy way. "Tumatalab na ang pain reliever."

Lumabas ito kanina upang ibili siya ng pain reliever at paracetamol dahil alam niyang posible siyang lagnatin. Nakaidlip pa siya habang hinihintay ito kanina. Noong bumalik ay may dala na ring pagkain nang makakain siya bago siya uminom ng gamot.

Linel caressed her arm then pecked a gentle kiss on top of her head. "Let's get out of the tub so you can rest."

Bahagya siyang humarap sa katawan nito nang makasandal siya nang patagilid. "Five more minutes." Hinaplos niya ang dibdib nito. "Parang ayaw ko pa ring matulog. You might . . . be gone once I wake up. Dito na lang muna tayo. Maligamgam naman ang tubig. Hindi pa ako nilalamig."

Narinig niya ang pagpapakawala nito ng hininga. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her a little closer. "I'm not going anywhere kahit na matulog ka," he said under his breath.

Ae flashed a small smile. She traced his defined jaw with her fingertips before she let out a sigh. "This is real, right? I'm not dreaming?"

Marahan itong umiling. "This is real."

She forced a smile. "I hope so. I'd be really upset kung produkto lang 'to ng imahinasyon ko."

Linel stared deeply into her eyes as if he was trying to search for any hint of deception. Maya-maya ay sinubukan nitong hawiin ang buhok niya patungo sa kanyang likod. "What were you doing at the Ocean Park?"

Naging basag ang ngiting nakapinta sa kanyang mga labi. "I was . . . there to reminisce our first date." Lumunok siya't kinapa ang lakas ng loob na umamin. "Sa apat na taon na wala ka, palagi akong nagpupunta ro'n at bumibili ng dalawang ticket. At first, I just want to . . . relieve the pain and longing I was feeling. Hindi ko kasi alam kung paano ako magko-cope up noong umalis ka nang hindi ko nasasabi sa'yo ang nararamdaman ko. I kept visiting the Ocean Park until it somehow became a routine. I'd go there and . . . think that I am with you. That you're holding my hand. And that we're . . . okay. Na hindi mo ko iniwan . . . kasi kapag nandoon ako, parang nababawasan ang sakit at . . . pangungulila."

"Hindi kita iniwan." Lumamlam ang mga mata nito. "I just . . . didn't know you were waiting. After all, you never really gave me enough reason to still come back. Those words you said back then, they kept playing in my head in those four years that I was away."

"I'm sorry." Her eyes became apologetic. "We were still young back then. It wasn't my intention to hurt you nor to fully push you away. A part of me got really scared, too dahil baka magkamali ako at lalo kitang mapaasa. Noong mga panahong 'yon kasi ay hindi ko . . ." She sighed. "Hindi ko alam kung ano ang pagkakaiba ng infatuation at . . . at love."

Tila may dumaang kislap sa mga mata nito. "And do you know the difference now, hmm?"

Ae swallowed the pool of saliva in her mouth as her cheeks felt a little hot. "I . . . think I already know now. Kaya kung sakaling ganti mo lang sa'kin 'to, kung pagkatapos ng tatlong araw ay hindi ka na magparamdam ulit o bumalik, I . . . I will understand. It's gonna hurt, but I will try to understand."

"God, woman." He shook his head. "You really don't know me."

Parang napahiya siya sa sinabi nito kaya iyuyuko niya sana ang kanyang ulo ngunit kaagad na hinuli ni Linel ang kanyang baba upang patingalain siyang muli. His eyes glowed with victory as if he just won in life. Ganoon din ang ekspresyong nakikita niya sa mga mata nito noon. Tila ba makita lamang siya nito o makasama ay panalo na ito sa buhay.

His thumb stroked the side of her face while he's staring into her eyes. "I won't message you once I leave."

She felt a pinch in her heart. Lumamlam ang kanyang mga matang nakikipagtitigan kay Linel habang nanatiling tikom ang kanyang bibig. Ano ang ibig nitong sabihin? Iyong nangyari sa kanila, s*x lang ba iyon? Aren't they . . . going to enter a relationship or something?

As if Linel was able to read her mind, he gently stroked her cheek again and then continued talking.

"It's for your safety. My assignment is really dangerous. I have to go undercover for six months. Maybe more. In case I'd get caught, they might track you down and do something horrible to you. I can't let that happen."

Kumabog ang dibdib niya. "H-Hindi ka ba . . . sa gyera ipapadala? Bakit . . . kailangang mag-undercover?"

"My job is quite peculiar. There are a lot of things I am not allowed to share to you, but it's a bit more dangerous than being in the military." He sighed. "I fell in love with it, so in case you're planning to tell me that you're in love with me and that you're willing to enter a relationship with me, I hope you will take into consideration the type of job I have because we're not kids anymore. Hindi na lang pag-ibig ang kailangang isaalang-alang."

Nilunok niya ang namumuong bara sa kanyang lalamunan habang nananatili ang titig niya sa mga mata ni Linel. "Can you . . . enlighten me a little more?"

Linel's eyes softened. "If we're gonna be together, hindi kita palaging makakasama. I might be gone for months. There will be missions that would require me to cut my connections with everyone, including you. There will be times, too when I won't be able to go home and be with you even when I'm not on a mission. Things would be difficult because you will always wonder if I'm still alive. You might get fed up with our situation." Linel sighed. "Hindi na ako katulad ng dati na pupwedeng bumuntot sa'yo sa lahat ng oras. Magiging kahati mo sa atensyon ko ang pinili kong propesyon, so if you are not ready for that, just tell me. I will understand."

Her chest tightened. Hindi niya nagawang kumibo dahil sa totoo lang ay nakaramdam siya ng takot. Kaya niya ba iyon? Handa ba siyang pasukin ang relasyon na ganoon kakumplikado?

Linel pursed his lips. His adam's apple bobbed up and down as he looked away. "You don't have to give me your answer now. I'm gonna wait until the end of my stay here. Whatever your decision may be, I'm gonna accept it."

Tumayo na ito at nagsuot ng roba. Inalalayan na rin siya nito paalis ng tub saka siya nito tinulungang patuyuin ang buhok niya.

Linel carried her to the bed after drying her hair. Hindi pa rin siya makakibo dahil iniisip niya ang mga sinabi nito. She just laid next to him and rested her head on his chiseled chest. Tinitimbang niya ang mga emosyon niya't tinatanong ang sarili kung ano ang mas kaya niya. Ang pakawalan ba ito o ang tiisin ang klase ng relasyon na kaya nitong ibigay.

Ae shut her eyes and inhaled a sharp breath. Maya-maya ay iniangat niya ang kanyang ulo upang mahalikan niya ito sa mga labi. She then rested her palm on his cheek. Her thumb stroked his skin while they were staring into each other's eyes.

Linel held her hand that's resting on his cheek. Her heart warmed when he took it and kissed her palm.

"You look scared," he said in a low voice.

Lumamlam ang kanyang mga mata. "I am," pag-amin niya. "Kasi baka hindi ka na umuwi sa'kin sa susunod."

Linel flashed a small smile. "Just give me your heart and I promise to stay alive."

Evangeline let out a sharp breath before she rested her head on his chest. Tuluyan na rin niyang nilunok ang namuong bara sa kanyang lalamunan na dulot ng pagbigat ng dibdib niya.

"You already have it, Linel. You took it with you the moment you left . . . and you will still take it with you once you leave again . . ."