My Sassy Otherworldly Wizard

A Wish upon Fate

The last branch has withered. Every leaf has fallen. Another icy wind slaps my face like it personally owes me money.

Winter again.

Spring never bothered to show up this year, apparently.

Not a single draft has passed the screening.

I’m officially out of ideas, out of patience, and out of f*ck to give.

My brain is as barren as these trees—rotting, brittle, and beyond salvation.

Logically speaking, why is writing a decent romance novel so goddamn impossible?

Do I lack the required delusional optimism? The pastel daydreams? Or is it simply because I’ve never been within ten meters of anything resembling actual romance?

Honestly, I gave up on love years ago.

I gave up on the idea of ever having it even longer.

All I want is money and peace. Preferably in that order.

So yes, universe—if you’re listening—as I dropped on my knees in the middle of an empty park.

“Just drop a tall, HANDSOME—I REPEAT VERY HANDSOME, obscenely rich sugar daddy on MEEE!!”

No strings. No drama. Just direct deposit and emotional distance.

“PLEASEEE!!!!”

I’m begging literally.

And then—

Whoooosssshhhh.

A violent tear rips open in the sky above the lake.

It spins, glowing violet and molten gold, and in one absurd heartbeat, a man drops straight out of it like he owns gravity.

Tall.

Ridiculously tall.

Face sculpted by someone who clearly cheated at art school.

Platinum hair flowing like he’s in a permanent slow-motion shampoo commercial.

Emerald eyes that look like they’ve personally judged every soul in existence.

I stare.

Because apparently my body forgot how the brain works for three whole seconds.

Until he opens his mouth.

“Good morrow, lowly mortal. Pray compose thyself—I am well aware of mine own transcendent beauty, yet thy jaw doth hang agape in so unseemly a fashion that thou resemblest some foolish Gorgon stricken by her own reflection.”

I blink. Slowly.

“Excuse me?”

He sighs, long and martyred, as though I’m the exhausting one.

“Now, do close thy mouth. Thou art beginning to resemble a particularly dim-witted gargoyle.”

In a far, far away universe…

The crystal goblets rattle. Dust rises from the flagstones.

Every mage in the Diamond Tower feels the tremor in their bones and starts running—flying—teleporting—toward the apex.

The great doors crash open.

There stands Master Eldric, the Grand Wizard himself, in the center of the blazing magic circle, arms spread wide, smiling like he just won the universe.

“What the hell are you doing, Master Eldric?!” the tower keeper bellows.

Eldric turns with perfect, theatrical grace.

“Hark, my devoted subjects! Cast thine eyes upon this vision of perfection. The fabulous Grand Wizard hath, by his own incomparable brilliance, rent the barriers between worlds and shall presently grace another universe with his presence. Rejoice, I command thee—nay, feel profound pride that fate hath bound thee to serve one so manifestly superior!”

Gasps. Murmurs. Someone drops a staff.

Then the portal tears open overhead—roaring, radiant, hungry.

Eldric throws his head back and laughs, rich and glorious.

“Farewell, my humble flock! I depart to traverse the boundless cosmos, to dazzle every realm with the splendor of my talent and the unparalleled radiance of my beauty! HAHAHAHA… Ahahahaha!”

His voice—bright, triumphant, utterly mad—fades as he ascends into the vortex.

“Wait—! No! You have duties! You can’t just—NOOOO! Grand Wizard, come back!”

The desperate scream echoes uselessly.

The portal snaps shut.

Glittering motes drift down like mocking snow.

And somewhere, in another world entirely, a very sarcastic woman is about to have her quiet, logical life turned upside down by the most insufferable being in existence.

—

Back to the Present

I just stared at him. Blankly.

For the first three seconds, fine—I’ll admit it—his face was objectively unfair. Platinum hair that looked illegally shiny, emerald eyes sharp enough to commit tax fraud, bone structure that could make a Renaissance sculptor weep. Whatever. Beauty is just symmetrical features and good lighting. I’ve seen better on billboards.

But then he opened his mouth, and whatever fleeting aesthetic appreciation I had evaporated.

“Excuse me, do not gawk at me like some famished bovine. I require knowledge of my present whereabouts—and the name of the sovereign who rules this puny kingdom.”

I blinked once. Slowly.

What the actual fweet is he yapping about?

“What are you talking about?” I asked, flat.

He sighed like I’d personally offended his bloodline.

“Ah. This one is apparently defective—both deaf and dim-witted. A pity. She shall never know the exquisite pleasure of serving a Grand Magus of my caliber.”

He waved a dismissive hand, jewels on his rings catching the sunlight like he was trying to signal aircraft.

“Very well. I shall stoop to thy barbaric tongue. Where… is… this?”

The switch to normal English was smooth, but the superiority complex stayed perfectly intact.

I folded my arms. “Are you a cosplayer or something? And what was that giant light show in the sky? Some kind of hologram projection?”

He stared at me like I’d suggested the earth was flat.

“What art thou rambling about, woman? My question comes first. Thou may inquire afterward.”

I exhaled through my nose. Patience thinning.

“You’re in Jakarta. Indonesia. Planet Earth. Ring any bells, Your Highness?”

He placed one elegant hand under his chin—classic thinker pose, as if the fate of galaxies hung on his next thought.

“Jakarta… Indonesia… Earth.” He tasted the words like cheap wine. “No, none whatsoever.”

Then his face lit up with the kind of smile that should come with a warning label.

“But it matters not!” He spread his arms wide, coat flaring dramatically. “For I, Eldric, Grand Wizard of the Diamond Tower, shall conquer this insignificant world—not with mere spells, but with the sheer, irresistible force of my unparalleled beauty!”

He threw his head back and laughed. Rich, theatrical, completely unhinged.

“HAHHAHA!”

I stared some more. Great. The universe didn’t send me a rich sugar daddy.

It sent me a clinically delusional narcissist in couture.

I glanced around the empty lakeside park again. No cameras. No crew. No hidden prank team. Just me… and this overdressed himbo who genuinely believed he’d portaled in from another dimension.

Fantastic.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. I need help-No. He’s the one who needs help.

Professional help.

The kind with padded rooms and medication schedules.

But knowing my luck?

I’m the one who’s going to end up babysitting him.

But why should I?

My life is already a meticulously balanced spreadsheet of deadlines, overdue rent, and caffeine dependency. Babysitting a mental-ward escapee in couture was nowhere on my five-year plan. Hell, it wasn’t even on my bucket list.

So, logically: run.

Decision made.

I turned on my heel while he was still mid-laugh—somewhere between triumphant and completely deranged—and started backing away slowly. One step. Two. He didn’t notice, too busy admiring his own reflection in the lake, probably.

Then I spun around and bolted.

Legs pumping, heart slamming against my ribs, sneakers slapping the pavement like they owed me money. I didn’t look back. I didn’t need to. The park was empty, the path was clear, and freedom was approximately three hundred meters ahead.

Behind me, his laughter cut off abruptly.

Eldric, Grand Wizard of the Diamond Tower, blinked once as the ill-mannered mortal vanished into the treeline. A flicker of something—hurt pride, perhaps—crossed his flawless features.

“Mannerless woman,” he murmured, voice still carrying that refined, velvet edge. “I deign to grace thee with my divine presence, and thou fleest without so much as requesting leave? Tsk. Standards have clearly fallen in this realm.”

He straightened his coat with a dramatic flick, jewels glinting under the streetlamps.

“No matter. I shall simply acquire a worthier attendant—one who recognizes greatness when it descends from the heavens in a blaze of glory.”

He turned in a slow, regal circle, surveying his surroundings. The park was… deserted.

Not a single admiring subject in sight. Only trees, a suspiciously still lake, and—far in the distance—the glittering skyline of a city that sprawled like a constellation fallen to earth.

Eldric’s emerald eyes narrowed, then widened with delight.

“Ah,” he breathed, lips curving into a slow, devastating smile.

“A tower of lights, befitting one such as I.”

He adjusted his collar, lifted his chin, and began striding toward the distant glow with the absolute confidence of a man who had never once been told no.

------

Two paths. Two directions.

One sarcastic, logic-obsessed aspiring writer fleeing toward the safety of her cramped apartment and instant noodles.

One insufferably gorgeous wizard marching toward the city, certain the world would fall at his feet.

Neither of us spared the other a single thought.

Neither of us had any idea what fate had just set in motion.