Shikwa: Behind every complaint there's a personal longing

Chapter 1

Bangalore, Karnataka

A man opens the main door of a small yet beautiful house and enters inside. He looks around the hall but couldn't find anyone. He then looks in the direction of the open kitchen but no one was there. He starts moving in some direction when he hears small footsteps approaching his direction. He finds a cute little girl running into his direction.

"Uncle..." says the little girl as soon as her eyes falls on the man.

The man smiles as he picks her up in his arms.

"Aanu, why are you running around the house? What did you do this time?" asks the man making his was in the direction from where the girl came running.

"I did nothing thish(this) time. Ishu did evelything(everything)." replies the girl making an innocent face to make the man believe in her words but he knows better.

"Oh, I see. Ishu has become a naughty girl." says the man.

"Yesh, I was telling her not to do anything but she never lishten(listen) to her big shishter(sister)." the little girl says hitting her palm on her head dramatically.

The man laughs at the drama queen. Finally they reach a small room painted in peach color. The room was looking like it's specially designed for kids. It was cute. The man looks at the room and chuckles. Everything was messed up. There were toys spread everywhere. The bedsheets were a mess and the pillows and cushions were in the corner of the room like a tower, one above the other. There were stains of chocolate on the floor. A woman was standing in the centre, holding her head. There was another little girl looking similar to the first one who was sitting on the bed with her finger on her lips and her lips were pouted.

"Mumma, Dora promised I didn't do anything. Aanu did evything(everything)." says the girl sitting on the bed.

"I know who did this." says the woman as she looks at the door.

"Why ale(are) you looking at me like thish(this)? Mumma, you don't know me?" asks Aanu innocently.

"I know you very well, that's why I'm looking at you like this." says the woman rolling her eyes.

"That's tue(true). Aanu, stop lyin(lying)." says Ishu.

The woman looks at the man holding Aanu when she hears his laughing sounds. First, she gives him a glare for laughing at her situation but later smirks.

"Stop laughing and start cleaning mister Arjun." she says as she picks up the girl from the bed and moves towards the man.

Arjun puts Aanu on the floor.

"This isn't fair Ragini." says the man making a fake sad face.

"Shut up! Your shift is over now and mine is going to start in an hour. Before that I need to make them bath and then prepare breakfast. I have to drop them at school as well. You'll be in the house till the evening. So, it's not a big deal." she says as she shrugs her shoulders.

She holds the hand of Aanu who was standing on the floor but not before giving her a glare. Aanu in return shows all her little pearls to her mother. Ragini tries to hide her smile as she makes her way out of the room. She enters inside another room and directly goes to the washroom. She makes the little girl's bath and then comes out. She starts taking out clothes for her daughters but they keep shaking their heads to show that they didn't like the clothes she was showing.

"Huh... Just wear them, ok. I don't have time to waste behind choosing clothes for you two. You both are getting late for your school." says Ragini as she starts making them wear their clothes.

"Who wantsh(wants) to go to shchool(school)?" mumbles Aanu under her breath.

"Mumma Aanu is saying something." says Ishu looking at her sister with a grin.

Aanu glares at her twin.

"What?" asks Ragini.

"I was just telling Ishu that mumma is shaying(saying) wear theshe(these) clothesh(clothes) then wear them. Don't trouble mumma." says Aanu while her twin laughs beside her.

"Oh stop your acting okay. Do it in front of those who don't know you both. I know all your tricks." says Ragini as she finally finishes dressing her daughters.

The girls start giggling at that. Ragini then combs their hair. She ties both of their hair in ponytails. Then both of the girls run out of the room again. Ragini sighs as she sits on the bed.

Ragini's pov:

It's been three and half years since I came to this city. It's been three and half years since I've seen my family. I don't know how my family must be. They didn't even know the reason for me leaving. From those years I'm living this life with my adorable daughters. They are my reasons to live. My reasons to smile. It was to give them a better and respectful life that I left everything behind. I left him. I left those feelings behind. I left that betrayal behind. I left him and his lies behind. I left my piece of heart behind.

My daughters have got their amber eyes from their father while I have black eyes. Whenever I look into their eyes, my heart automatically starts drowning in his thoughts. I can't stop myself from thinking about those days. Those were the most beautiful days of my life but one night spoiled everything. One night changed our destiny. And that day opened my eyes.

Aanya looks more like me but her nature and attitude is just like him. Naughty, prankster, dramatic, joyful are a few words to describe her. While Ishanvi looks more like him but her nature and attitude is like me. Cute, understanding, smart, sarcastic, I know she'll be. These are the words which will describe her. Aanya is six minutes older than Ishanvi. They're the living proofs of the fact that me and him are their parents. They are the perfect combination of both of us. They look alike yet different.

Sometimes I feel so scared to think what'll happen if I ever have to come face to face with him. What if he saw our daughters? What'll happen when he comes to know about their existence? How will he react to the fact that I hid them from him? How he'll take everything in? It'll take him only a moment to get the thought in his mind that they're his. And their eyes will play a major role in the realisation. It'll not take him more than one hour to be sure about it. The work which their looks will not be able to do, their talks will do. Their chattering and attitude will do everything to let him know who they are to him and who he is to them.

He'll, I know be happy to know that I made the right decision by leaving him otherwise the truth must have created havoc in his life. His social reputation must have been ruined if I didn't leave. I know that and after all those revelations, I was in no condition going to stay and tell him anything. He was a liar, a betrayer. We've been so long between us now that it'll never vanish.

I wonder how he must be doing? He misses me or forgets me like I didn't exist. I know the second option has more chances to be true. He never loved me. If he ever loved me then he wouldn't have lied to me. He wouldn't have said that I was a mistake. Why couldn't he see my love for him? I loved him truly, deeply, madly. I thought one day he'll reciprocate to my love but no, it was always a one sided love. For him, we were just friends. And he must have moved on. There was nothing to stick about.

My heart bleeds thinking whether my daughters have to live all their life like this, without the love, care and protection of their father? I know this society will never let them live in peace and I also know that I'm also a reason for that. Without their father, their life will not be easy and also they're girls. This thing matters a lot but I'll never let anyone affect my daughters' happiness. I'll be their shield.

Whenever I go outside with my daughters and I have to hold them and take care of them alone, I can't stop my mind from thinking about how it would be if he was with us. Both of us would be holding one of our daughters. It would be such a beautiful scene. We would be a happy family but I know I'm the most stupid person on the earth to think this. It's never going to happen.

When I came here, I had to face lots of judgements and bad mouths because I came alone to a different city, pregnant with twins. Although they came to know about it after months, that made things worse. I shifted here and in months my belly started growing! It was not acceptable. No one was there with me. No one was there to take care of me in that critical time. No family, no husband or anyone. This made everyone's mouths bigger. I was not even twenty two at that time. I faced lots of difficulties in the beginning. I had nothing to survive upon. No money, no place to live. All my saved money worked only for three months. I was not understanding what to do and how to survive. My expenses kept growing because of my babies. Rent of the house, household things, food, doctor appointments, everything needed money. Being pregnant is too with twins and then living alone. It's the worst thing that could happen with a woman. The doctor advised me to rest at least twelve hours in a day but I didn't because I couldn't rest if I needed to live. That was the most dreadful phase of my life.

But then God decided to show some mercy on me by sending Arjun in my life. He and his wife Naina are the bestest friends one could ask for. They supported me on every step. They live in the house in front of me. We've become a family now. Arjun is like my brother and his wife is my supporter and best friend. Me and Arjun work in the same company while Naina works as a manager in a cafe. I can't leave my daughters alone at home while I'll be at work so I work in the morning shift for a week while Arjun works in the night shift for that week. We keep changing our shifts every week. One week I'll work in the morning and the next week he'll work in the morning. When I'm not at home Arjun and Naina look after Aanu and Ishu. I can't be more grateful to the two of them. Don't know what I must have done without them. I'll never forget the favors they've done to me.

I remember what trauma I had to go through when the teacher handed me the form to fill for the admission of my daughters' in kindergarten. Only I know how I stopped myself from breaking down at the moment when I saw the column of Father's name. I got through a mind battle. Thinking that he was not going to come there and get to know about our daughters, I finally filled his name in that column. The name which used to make me feel butterflies all over and which used to give me happiness without any reason. The name of the boy I loved once but not anymore. The father of my daughters, Arhaan Mehra. I used to love this name but now I hate it the most.

***