For Blood And Country

March 5, 2014 - KHALID

I stood and stared at the gates of Millionaires' Quarters as my eyes absently rested on the design on the gates. Even the entrance of the estate looked plusher than it used to be back in the day when my family lived there. The estate must have been upgraded years after because it was well guarded now, compared to when someone had easily slipped into our residence back then and set it ablaze. It didn't take long to locate it because the name of the estate was stuck in my head from writing my name and address when I was in primary school, and then I had Taofeek, my new friend from camp with me. We left camp about a week ago and my first thought was to visit my former house. Camp was filled mainly with indoctrination and brain-washing techniques. I tried to stay aloof and not let the false doctrines get to me. After all, I was raised in a Muslim home and I was taught the truth which was contrary to what the so-called Malami was teaching.

And then there were weapons training; how to use IEDs, how to properly shoot guns based on the type – handguns, rifles, submachine guns, grenades and even RPGs. The weapons they had were sophisticated and they kept getting new shipments. I knew they had powerful, rich sponsors but I only thought it gave them opportunity to operate barely hindered on Nigerian soil, I didn't know they were a growing and deadly force who had more access than I had imagined. It was beginning to look more like the early days of the Taliban's operation in Afghanistan when it was freshly formed in early '94. The political movement had a strict interpretation of Sharia and it seemed it was the same steps the Boko Haram was following. And it also meant they had to have political backings from within the government and the military.

The major difference though is the formation of this elite group in form of a camp where partisans were trained to carry out the wishes of the leaders in the name of jihad, and when the time comes, die for the cause they've been indoctrinated to believe in.

When camp was almost over, the Major called me to his office one night. "I've been watching you, Khalid and it's nice to see that you have been training well," he said, "once the training is over, everyone will be dispersed and they will go back to their normal lives. Do you have anywhere you can stay here in Borno?" He asked.

"No, not really. But I have a little money to rent an apartment somewhere around, till I'm called to serve." I said.

"That's good. Just know you can always stay here if you can't find a place. I could use a young man like you with your kind of experience." He replied, nodding. Then asked, "You learnt to handle the AK that way in Turkey, bah?"

"Yes sir."

"I could tell." He said

But as I stood with Taofeek in front of Millionaires Quarters, I thought of what to do. Taofeek had insisted on coming along with me since he knew the area better than me and could show me around.

I needed to get in. I needed to see my house or what used to be my house. I needed closure. It should help for my nightmares and help me sleep better, I thought, and this people were denying me of that due to various security threats places like that now faced.

I deserved closure.

"Brother, I stay with you when you ready, but why? Less go." Taofeek said and then said something else in Hausa but he was too fast for me to pick it up. My Hausa had gotten better this last few days, most of it came back to me as I heard people speak it, but not when they spoke fast or when I wasn't paying attention, like now. From what he said though, I picked out "bomb" and "blow".

"What? We aren't blowing anything or anyone, Taofeek. At least not yet." I said to pacify him. The country may be corrupt and the present leaders may have something to do with the death of my father, but I didn't come for revenge, I came to find out the truth and save the country anyway I could.

I am not a terrorist; you need to know that.

"So what? Just stay here? I'm tired, walahi." Taofeek said exasperated.

"I have a plan, Taofeek." I didn't have a plan yet but I was working on it. I just didn’t need the distraction. "But you have to go wait for me back at the lodge." I said.

As Taofeek and I walked back towards the main road, he hailed a bike to take him back to the lodge while I kept walking. I needed a plan fast but I couldn't think of any at the moment, and then as I walked, a grey Golf Volkswagen drove past me towards the estate. A sticker in green on the driver's side of the car read "LIMELIGHT MEDIA" and I caught glimpse of the driver; a dark young lady. She was pretty too. I dismissed the thought as quickly as it came but I was already looking back after the car. It stopped in front of Millionaires Quarters and that was when I knew what I was going to do.

When I left the US, my uncle gave me a Debit MasterCard for my expenses. Since he was my guardian, he had been in charge of my father's inheritance till I was of age and ready to be on my own. My uncle called me when I finished law school that it was time to hand over my inheritance to me legitimately but I had objected because I wasn't ready then. When I mentioned I would be stopping in Nigeria after leaving Turkey, he had insisted he transferred a few hundred thousand naira into an account for me to maintain with.

No one knew the real purpose of my visit to Nigeria except those the deputy director personally briefed. As far as my uncle knew, I was travelling because I needed to clear my head because my nightmares had started again and I needed closure once and for all. That was partially true. My nightmares started when my father was killed and my uncle took me out of the country. It had stopped a year later after I saw a child psychologist on a regular basis. She said it was too much a trauma for a kid and instead of supressing the memory which was common, my brain kept trying to process it, which made me relive the incident over and over and was responsible for my nightmares.

Just before it started again I was watching a video on the internet where a kid was made to shoot his own father by some men in the IS. It had triggered the memory I had repressed as a kid, and then the nightmare had started again – this time, however with vehemence. My uncle knew what I went through as a kid and when I told him that I needed to clear my head, he knew it was something I needed to do if it will give me closure.

I took that card now and hailed a bike to take me to the nearest ATM.