Chapter 24
1571 Words
NORA
Wren finds me in the small sitting room of the main corridor.
She closes the door behind her and just stands there with her hands together in front of her and a look on her face that I don't see often.
It's uncertain.
"I need to tell you something," she starts.
"And I'm not sure I should. But I can't hold it back."She tells me, while still glaring at me in an uncertain manner.
I put down the file I'm holding and give her my full attention.
She pulls the chair across from me and sits on the edge of it. Leans forward a little and keeps her voice low even though nobody else is in the room.
"I overheard Raphael and Damon two nights ago," she says. "In the study room. The door wasn't fully closed."
I wait for her to continue, at the mention of Alpha Rapheal's a Surges if adrenaline rushed through me .
"He's been investigating your background." She watches my face when she says it. "Not in a bad way though. That's what I kept telling myself before I decided to come tell you. It's not threatening. It's more like he's looking for something and he's scared of what he might find."Wren added, she chooses her words carefully.
"What is he investigating about me?" I ask, my voice even.
I had wanted to look into this, but I wasn't able to.
Alpha Raph wouldn't answer my question directly and I am still lost. I have no idea of what is going on around me.
"Everything. Where you came from before Kael's pack. Who your parents were. Your full history." Wren's hands press together tighter. "Damon has people outside the pack running it. It's been going on for weeks apparently."She said again, this time she glared awkwardly at me and my heart skipped a bit .
Weeks.I couldn't help but think about it.
He's been investigating me for a week?
I put both hands on the edge of the table as I pondered over what he's been doing and why he's looking into me desperately, without uttering a word to me about it.
"How much does he know about me?" I ask.
"I don't know. I only heard part of it. He told Damon to move faster. That he needed confirmation before the next meeting with Marcus." She pauses. "Nora, the way he was talking about it. I already think he knows something. He's just waiting for the paper to confirm it,maybe"Wren shrugged.
I didn't move.I only stared at her weirdly.
My face stays completely still, despite what I have just discovered.
After a while ,my hands grip the edge of the table and my knuckles go pale and I don't release that grip for a long moment.
Wren watched me.Her eyes were scanning every of my movements.
"I thought you should know," she says quietly. "Before he comes to you with whatever he finds. I thought you should have time to think first."She mutters, sluggishly almost like she's creating awareness.
"Thank you," I told her.
She squeezes my arm once and gets up and leaves.
The door clicks shut.
*****
I go to my room.
I sit on the bed and I don't move for a minute. Just sit there in the quiet room with the afternoon light coming through the window and the sounds of the pack outside .
Then I start going back.
All the way back.
Kael's pack.
The only thing I can remember is a small room. Narrow bed. One window that looked out at the back wall of another building.
A woman who brought food and left without speaking. I asked her once who my parents were. She said she didn't know. Her eyes went sideways when she said it.
I was maybe four. Five. Old enough to notice the sideways eyes.
I asked again when I was seven. Different person. One of the older pack women who handed out duties to the orphan children. She told me I had no parents. That I was left at the pack gate as an infant. That nobody knew where I came from.
Her eyes didn't go sideways.
But she answered too fast and quickly,more like she was dismissive.
I remembered that. Even at seven I remembered that.
I kept asking through the years. Different people. Different answers. All of them are short.
All of them ended the conversation as quickly as possible. Nobody in Kael's pack was ever interested in talking about where I came from.
I always thought it was because they didn't know.
What if they did know?
What if some of them knew exactly?
I get up and walk to the window. The pack grounds below are busy. Two younger wolves crossing toward the training area.
A maid carrying something toward the kitchen. Damon near the main entrance going through something on his phone.
Damon.
Who has people outside the pack running an investigation into my background.
On Raphael's instruction.
Weeks ago.
My hands aren't gripping anything now. They're just hanging at my sides, slightly tight.
'Sera,' I say.
She doesn't answer right away.
That's the thing.
She usually answers immediately. Pushes in before I've even finished the thought. Has something to say about everything.
This quiet is different.
'Sera,' I say again.
'I'm here,' she says finally.
'Do you know something?'
She doesn't deny it.
'What do you know,' I say.
'I don't know anything for certain,' she says carefully. 'Not the way you mean.'
'But you feel something.'
A pause.
'I've felt something for a while,' she says.
'Since Marcus. Since the way he looked at you in that meeting. Since the question about the birthmark.'
The birthmark on my left shoulder.
I've had it my whole life. A small mark. Not large. Just there. I never gave it much thought.
Marcus asked about it.
I told him yes.
His face changed immediately.
'Sera,' I say slowly. 'What are you not saying to me?'
'I'm saying it,' she says. 'I'm just saying it carefully because once I say it you can't unhear it.'
'Say it.'
'What if you're not an orphan,' she says.
'What if you were never an orphan. What if you were taken from somewhere and placed in that pack and the people who put you there made sure nobody would tell you the truth.'
I stand at the window and look out at the pack grounds.
The two wolves are gone.
The maid is gone.
Damon is still there, head bent over his phone.
Still running that investigation.
'What if Kael knew,' I say.
'That's the question,' Sera says quietly.
'What if the marriage wasn't random. What if I wasn't chosen because I was available or easy or useful. What if I was chosen because of who I actually am.'
Sera doesn't respond.
She doesn't need to.
I turn away from the window and sit back down on the bed.
My whole childhood runs through my head again. All the gaps.
All the questions that went unanswered.
All the adults who changed the subject or answered too quickly or looked somewhere else when I asked about my origins.
All of it takes on a different shape now.
'Raphael already thinks he knows,' I say.
'That's what Wren said. He's just waiting for confirmation.'
'Yes,' Sera says.
'And he hasn't told me.'
'He's trying to be careful,' Sera says.
'I know that,' I say. 'But he should have told me. This is my life. This is my history. He doesn't get to investigate my background and sit on what he finds and decide when I'm ready to hear it.'
'Are you going to confront him,' Sera says.
I think about it, should I actually confront him?
Would that help?
'Not yet,' I say. 'I want to know what he knows first. All of it. Before I walk into that conversation.'
'How are you going to find out what he knows?'
I look at the door and sigh. He wouldn't answer if I asked , then what next? Would Damon help?
'Damon,' I say.
'He's not going to tell you,' Sera says immediately.
'No,' I agree. 'But I'm going to ask him anyway. And if truly he didn't say anything about it. Then, I will find away’
Sera goes quiet again.
I imagine how she's trying to settle the words into her head and let it sink.
'You're not scared,' she said, it's more like a question. Even though it's not a question.
'No,' I say honestly.
'Why not.'
I think about my son's caramel brown eyes. About Marcus's face when I told him I was an orphan.
About Raphael standing in the garden crouching beside my baby and then asking me about meeting documentation like that was the real reason he came.
'Because if it's true,' I say, 'it means I was never nothing. It means I was always something and people worked very hard to make sure I never found out.'I replied and the thought of it, caused my heart to linger.
'And that makes you angry,' Sera says.
'That makes me very angry,' I say.
'Good,' she says.
I stand up.
I smooth down my clothes and pick up the file I left on the chair and walk to the door.
There is work to do.
And a conversation is coming that I am going to be completely ready for when it arrives.
- Writer
