Of Ashes and Vows

CHAPTER 4

My eyes snapped open, yanked from the depths of something I couldn’t quite remember. Reality clung to me in fragments; my body, my breath, the sharp pulse in my skull, the light and the rot.

Golden light split through the clouds, spilling into my room in fractured, blinding streaks. I squinted hard, forcing my gaze through the brilliance, but everything felt… off. Too bright. Too still.

I willed my legs to move. Nothing. A hollow numbness condemned them, foreign and wrong. Slowly, I pushed myself upright, my breath uneven, my thoughts scrambling for purchase.

The air shifted. A cold breeze slithered in, carrying something with it. Not just the scent of morning, it came with a reminder.

Something had happened last night.

And I wasn’t sure I wanted to remember.

The image seared into my mind. The soul-burning fog, her hand reaching desperately from within it. It was there, real for a moment, before dissolving into the corners of my room. For a minute it felt like my reality was collapsing into my dreams. My breathing became shallow as I scanned my surroundings, trying to gather every detail, every anchor to reality.

Then my gaze caught my reflection.

A warm haze within my irises, shifting like embers beneath glass. My chest tightened. This…this wasn’t new. But my eyes?

I stumbled into the bathroom, tearing my shirt over my head in a daze. The faucet sputtered before water gushed into my trembling hands, cool and fast, slipping through my fingers like sand. I splashed my face once, twice, but the images didn’t fade.

The dreams crashed against my mind like a wave breaking against stone, flooding every corner of my consciousness. I gripped the sink, knuckles white against the porcelain, but the cold did nothing to steady me.

The memories surged raw and mercilessly.

The seething fog. The way it moved, like it was living.

And somewhere in the depths of it, her hand. Reaching. Disappearing. It came to me in flashes, like nightmares in the morning.

I remembered my father's promise, him doing anything that I may not become an Alpha. Was this it? My mate, banished behind a fog, in another world or was it all figurative?

I tried to hold many thoughts in, what I felt; the rage but my breath quickened. The thought of her still behind it consumed my mind. I stepped back, the pace of my breath racing. The small space of the bathroom became suffocating, the walls seemed like they began to close in. I could feel myself losing control, my body slipping between this reality and the astral plane and I tried to put myself together but…

…but all of a sudden it all went silent as I gazed at my reflection. The warmth in my eyes was defining troubled peace and unrest. I could reverse my banishment if I get to her, I can become an Alpha, take back the power that has been misplaced from my family name, only if I can pass through it…the fog.

“CAELAN!”

I heard her call just like it was that moment.

There I stood, it felt like I could almost feel him, my father talking to me;

“The alpha made rogue, poor lad without a mate, poor boy, poor all around.”

“Why me?” The question slipped under my tone. I stepped back from the mirror, my vein pulsing, the surge of adrenaline coursing through them. “Why me? Why me? Why me? WHY ME?!”

My roar exploded and my voice bounced off the tiles. My fist slammed into the mirror shattering it into a web of cracks. The shards bounced back, slowly, like time had lowered its pace. Few of it fell into the sink and the many which didn't, traced back at me, cutting in places I couldn't cover. The shards fell and mingled with the drops of blood from my wounds and my bleeding knuckles.

It…it wasn't enough.

I started hearing voices, familiar voices like they spoke at that moment. One was my father's.

“Beast of a child burdened with the destiny to divide the trinity further.”

And the other, one of the chiefs of my pack.

“Why didn't you end the child earlier?”

I traced my steps to the shower hastily, seeking running water to place my head under.

“The Hrothgar's bloodline might as well just have ended with me.” Father spoke, his voices still in my head.

I sank to the floor, my back against the cold tile.

“No one will desire to be your mate knowing such destiny is your fulfillment. Fate wouldn't even let you have one if desire fails to prevent it. Come hell and high water, you will not unite in the ritual of mates and you should know that I am both fate and desire, hell and high water.” The way he spoke, aggressively. His roughened face cursed my fragile mind. I barely knew anything at seven, but he made me know everything.

My breath came in ragged gasps. The aggression ebbed now leaving me hollow and shaking. I pulled my knees to my chest burying my face in my arms. The bathroom was silent now, saved for my quiet sobs, the only sound that broke the oppressive stillness. I wished anyone could hear, hear and understand. I wished she was here…mother.

I was young, but my curiosity stretched far beyond my years.

There was a day, My mother and him. The visions ruined my thought process. I couldn't quite tell if this was a vision or if I was there when it happened. Their voices were low, urgent, but I was close enough to hear the words that shattered her.

"A new revolution comes with the fall of the triad."

He, steady, said.

"He cannot have a mate. This is to prevent her return."

I saw my mother’s face crumple, silent tears streaking her skin.

"She will sense it. A new Alpha. She will want his head and you will not be here to protect him.”

My heartbeat pounded in my ears. I asked the question many times before, Who would come for my head? And yet I still do not know.

"They will come to claim this land the moment they learn another Hrothgar lives—one weaker than I am. And because of him, she will trigger it."

"The new revolution."