I'm Not In Love

Chapter one

"Yes mum,everything's under control

".I replied my mum who was continually asking if I've done one thing or the other. I was caught in speaking with her on the phone, which was placed between my ear and right shoulder,while my hands do various things in the kitchen.

Summer,my younger sister came into the kitchen, all dressed and ready for her part-time job. School was on summer break, and summer was wise enough to go on with her part-time job than hang out with friends and do stupid girly stuffs. Summer had her fair share of mum's caramel wavy hair, except hers' was longer than mum's. She wasn't even paying attention to me,

I guess she was trying to make breakfast.

"Is your sister with you. She should be getting ready for work. Knowing summer well enough, she's probably in her room chatting her heart away, right? ".

Summer heard that.

She rolled her eyes skeptically and could only smile, and I dropped the phone on the brown coated counter, put it on speaker so we could both hear .

"I'm a changed person now, mum. " Summer voiced out, while spreading some jam on a bread, "I'm all dressed and ready for work. "

"Is that right darling. I'ld actually love that ",mum said, sounding ecstatic.

And we heard some honking sounds, and car horns in the background. Well, that sounded familiar.

"you'll get to see when you are back for the weekend ",summer added, feeling proud of herself.

She was done fixing her jam bread and started eating at the spot. Breakfast at home wasn't always elaborate or classy except on Saturdays and Sundays when mom would feel like making special treats for us, but when it was just us, we just made stuffs to fill our stomach that would hold us till lunch. But since summer was eating at the counter, she actually seemed like she didnt want to be late, seeing it's 7:50 and she could still make something more better and eat it at the dining too.

I couldn't help but wonder too, the old summer I know would still be in bed doing stupid things on her phone like f*******: and i********:. But then I guess it was about time she wiped her ass off ,start doing productive things than posting endless selfies, and following tons of people she didn't know.

"Its morning mum, shouldn't you be about work by now? ",I asked her, arms crossed and doing nothing.

Summer and I had done our chores as soon as possible. She had a part-time job to go to and I ,a dance practice at 10.

"I am working, darling. There are tons of reporters out here waiting to get juice out of this big, rich guy. " She replied,and summer and I looked at each other just to shake our head and stiffle some giggles. We could actually picture mum holding a mic on standby ,and about to latch questions on that poor guy.

" by the way is the gas still running "

"yep, still is" I answered while examining my nails,and I remembered something, "one thing mum"

"yeah? "

"Do you think...um..can you please get me some sneakers. White and sea-blue,we are having a video shoot next week. Please don't say no, mum". I ranted all nervous, my eyes were closed and I was sure summer was making fun of me, from the little giggles I was hearing. Mum could actually say "no,you have more than enough already ", or she could say she was busy with work and I should grow up and buy it myself.

" You see darling ", mum started, and I'm pleading the whole host of the mighty heavens to let her not say no. " My work these days is pretty hectic, you don't wanna hear about it, I'm like a running cheetah everyday catching up with a worthy news, and I have a cranky boss that gives me ultimatum, and there are things I'm expected to meet up, if I'm going to keep my job and feed you guys ". Mum said and I actually felt for her, being a journalist isn't actually a piece of cake.

But she wasn't saying no yet-- a ray of hope. But my heart was still hammering against my ribcage.

She sighed " How about I transfer the money to you. "she suggested.

"yay!! "I whooped aloud, hugging summer in a big embrace and jumping up and down with her in my arms. Summer wasn't expecting this, she could only roll her eyes . They all knew how much I love sneakers. "Thanks mum. You can absolutely do that. I love you so much. " It pays to be grateful and I really was.

"I love you too, sweetheart. But... "

But?

"I want you guys to put me in consideration too. You know it's not easy paying the bills and stuffs. Anna I know you have like two part time works, why am I buying this again?", her voice was soft and low and we could hear distant murmurings, most likely the reporters mum mentioned. Again, very familiar.

"It's not the end of the month yet. And besides, I'm paying my bills too, mum. My dance school tuition, college stuffs too. "

I decided to grab a bread too after endless thoughts of what I could possibly eat,and started making a jam bread, summer made another one for herself too.

"it's okay. Speaking of college though, i'ld like to talk about it during the weekend, okay? "

"yes mum".I replied between munches of jam bread in my mouth.

Then there was a bigger roar of murmurings rising in the background,and I guessed the big guy was around. The urgency that quickly followed her words confirmed that. "You girls be good, okay. I'll call you later. Bye",she bid us and before we could reply the phone beeped signalling the end of our conversation.

Summer brought her phone out ,from her handbag and started pressing. It was already 8:29. She wasn't keeping track of time, and she didn't even hear me when I asked her if she had her key with her. I rolled my eyes annoyingly. I guess f*******: and i********: would be sticking around anyway. I gave her a quick, sharp nudge on her knee and she squealed in pain.

"ow! what's that for !" ,she cried.

"I said do you have your keys! " I repeated, not as a question anymore, and ate another bite of bread and drank water.

She nodded. "Always do".

I didn't take that for an answer and she knew when she saw me looking stern at her. Summer could forget her head if it were not attached to her body all in the name of these social medias.

She had to call me in the middle of practice, sometime ago, so I could come open the house door for her, apparently she was all cooked up and needed to do her business.

" Fine" ,she said and dipped her hand into the bag and brought out the metal thingy.

"you good?, now gimme some dollars so I can f**k out of here. I promised mum I won't be late. "

A peacock is nothing if it's beautiful but downright rude ,is the case with summer. She acted like a rogue at times.

Another quick nudge and summer almost hit the floor,cursing.

" what part of don't ever use curse words do you not understand, you are still sixteen "

I reprimanded her. It felt good being mum, I counted five dollar bills and gave it to her.

" Imma go and get ready for my dance practice, the only one thing I love to do the most. " I made a quick reverse moves, wink at summer who was watching me with death glares and left the kitchen laughing while I heard her throwing tantrums.

"Close the door behind you when you're gone, darling ".

And I giggled the more again.

I was inside the shower already, letting water drip down my body. Today's plan : first i'ld go to dance practice, next I'ld go to my part-time. Fresh and warm water splashed on my face in a rush and I smother at that.

I was ecstatic to be at practice, it was always that feeling with dance :ecstactic, passionate, and active. It was a hobby to begin with then I discovered it as a talent. At five I used to dance a lot with dad. But that part of my life was gone. Dad. I missed him. I missed when he took me to ballet practices at six. I miss our picnic getaways with mom. Summer didn't even get to see him, and I always felt for her. She was a strong girl though, she was coping with that very well. And mom and I were trying to fill that void spot in her life. I didn't get to know much either, and mum didn't like bringing up the topic, all I knew was dad died in a fire outburst. He was a fireman.

Water splashed on my face and spiraled down my body, washing away the nausea feeling I was having .Today could be like any other day. Dance, work, and get home and work again. Nothing special in my life, I was just a boring broke girl with a single, journalist mom, and a social-freak, curse-words ad addict junior. I wasn't rich and I was not poor, I was just Kinda in between. See nothing special.

I finished in the shower and I walked into my room, clad in a pink towel from my chest to knee and a small towel on my blue hair which has it ends in silver. I love dyeing my hair in colours, being creative with it and changing my hair style too. There was a time I had my hair in three colours : blonde, pink and brown. Making my hair look like some ice cream mix, and yet I rocked it and made some hundred likes on i********:. Thank goodness mum didn't complain about it. I'ld have hate going against her, plus she was cool enough to let her children have their ways with things they love,if it makes them happy and if it makes sense. She was not about to cage us up in a dark box filled with clichés and words most parents used.

I slipped on a gray bum short and a nude crop top.

It was summer ,and I was dressing for the heat. I dressed my sleek hair in a bun, letting some strands fall in a messy but yet cute manner. I slipped on a tiny crystal-like earring. No chain, but I wore bracelets and bangles. Now for the final touch, a sleek, nude sock sneaker that has a perfect-white sole complimenting it. I never did makeup, but to my tiny ass I had a smooth, acne-free face. Summer was always jealous of that, most girls were, even boys. Truth was, I actually took care of my skin, I sometimes have acne, and when I did I had a secret weapon cream to attack it.

         A quick sigh of victory, once slipping on my sneakers, and I checked my reflection in the mirror. I was always full of smile and energy, dad taught me to always be. Plus I was always looking good, me and my caramel brown eyes- from dad's -well shaped brows, and tiny dots of dimples

     Ding Ding!!

The alarm on the drawer rang announcing 9am .

    That was my cue. I got up abruptly and made  my way  for my black backpack on the wooden rack. The bag has everything I needed in a day  : bandages - when I fall while dancing, which was almost impossible, but you know safety first. My wallet, hair brush,mini MP speakers, headset, earpiece .Plus again, I love music so freaking much. Although it went with my work, but apart from that  I  love a good music especially one with a dope beat that could tune me up. And that was what made TRIMIx my favorite boy band, I was a super fan of TRIMIx, in fact,  Trap their leader was my celeb crush. They did good music that I could die for. And my biggest dream and wish so far was that I could be able to dance alongside those Greek gods.

      Enough day-dreaming though, I needed to get going. My room was all good and so was the house. Summer was long gone to her part-time and the house was awfully quiet. I grabbed my keys and left the house.

       One day - I said to myself -my dreams would come true.

I tried shipping the keys into the door lock and my hands failed me.

      I gasped faintly.

I couldn't move my hand and it was numb like that. And I was watching with fear, my heart in my throat, and my eyes all widened. Fear was definitely written on my face, my body was doing that again.

      I was numb for like two minutes, standing there like a lifeless body on the porch,and a tear escaped my eyes. The hospital should have called me. I had gone to the hospital three days ago to run a test. I had been feeling numb like that for sometime and I was scared. I don't know if something was wrong with me. If it took two minutes now, how many more will it take later on. What if I was going to get to a stage where I would not be able to use my hands and feet anymore.

    No. I am a dancer!

And my phone started ringing -it was my doctor .