I'm Not In Love

Chapter Nine

Chris

            "Mum no don't do this", my voice shooked as I pleaded frantically. I was on my knees, holding mother's legs. I was sweating profusely and I couldn't stop myself from crying.

       Everywhere was so dark, I could not make out where I was. Except for the dim-lit light shining from a far end that Illuminated mother's face.

      Fear gripped me. please don't -my eyes pleaded.

      She had a smug grin on her face. She has changed, she was not like I used to know her. She was not the woman I used to worship, the one I loved. She looked more evil, pointing a gun on my father's head.

         Dad was tied up with a rope. He wasn't fighting,he was quiet. Like he knew what would happen. He was looking at me rather than mum,a remorseful look on his face.

     "I told you not to trust her son."  His words echoed in my ears.

   He did told me. He told me.

" Silence!", She yelled. And my body shook. "You are of no use now", mum said, c****d the gun and shot him right in the head. Blood splashed on my face.

Dad's blood.

      I shouted, screamed but no word left my mouth. I cried but no tears came out. Her laughter was what filled me instead.

   This was not my mum. This wasnt mum. Not at all. I needed to get away from her,very far away. But I couldn't see anything.

       Then I saw Maria. She was glaring at me,arms crossed at her chest and a smirk on her face.

"Maria". I whispered. "Please take me out of here".

      She roared out laughing and laughed again till it was echoing all around me. " Oh Chris. But we are over. I don't need you anymore. I took your money and now I'm famous"

     No  No!!

"Bye Chris you're useless now" she cracked up in laughter. Laughed again and again. Her voice going up pitch by pitch that it was killing me

Everything was so painful. Her laughter and mum's filled my ears,body,my mind and soul. Threatening to devour me, I palmed my ears,to keep it away. But it kept feeling me. I wanted to get out. I needed someone to rescue me.

Some kind of miracle.

   I was screaming for help,but it was barely a whisper. When all of a sudden,a hand pulled me up and dragged me to light....

       "No!", I shouted, shooting up from the bed.

    Breathing heavily ,trying to catch my breath and let everything sink in as I stared at the window in front of me, over-looking a great deal of the city.

      It was a dream Chris. Same dream.

"f**k it!" , I spat and palmed my face. I was like the most miserable person on earth. f*****g dream again!.

      I swear I could punch those women's face if I could see them. They have f*****g messed up my life.

    Scott barked. He climbed up the bed and had  that puppy look on,his tongue drooling at me. Scott was old, but he understood me. He knew if something was wrong.

       "I'm okay Scott. Or at least I'll be okay", I said faintly. Pulled him on me and started petting him,playing with his fur. He was a good comfort.

      Natural light shone through the floor-celing windows. But the curtains held them a bit.

     The alarm went off .

It was 7:00am

      Trimix blaze up filled the silence. It was my phone's ringing tone. Alisa was making a group video call. I rubbed my eyes lazily and yawned. I didn't need to stretch much, I was a very tall guy, so without much stress I retrieved the phone and picked it up.

     " Good morning people" she greeted and we replied.

        Alisa was vibrant as always, sporting a baby blue suit pant and jacket over a white inner that has a big

bow knot on it's neck. She had worn her strawberry-blonde hair down and had put on very little make up. But she was never caught off guard without her big rimmed shades.

     She was pretty,why would she hide behind those shades.

     She was in her office, standing by her desk, holding a file in her hands. Alisa was a hard worker. She managed us better,compared to Big Bo.

     I wonder what Big Bo is up to these days.

     Nike let out a loud yawn with all of his big mouth,dragged up the mattress to cover half of his face and closed his eyes again.

     Nick was just staring at the screen as if it were an alien object. But that was not his home. Did he sleep in an hotel?.

" Am I in trouble again", he asked, still not fully awake.

    "Babe have this", a girl in panties and bra strode in with a cup of coffee.

      Oh I think you're in more than trouble, Nick.

   "Thanks sweet", he took it, slapped her butt and sipped the coffee.

     I palmed my face. f*****g asshole slept in an hotel with a girl. I bet he has been drinking too. I hope he didn't do anything stupid last night.

       "Nick?", Alisa called.

"Yeah?"

     "Are you in an hotel?"

"Uh yeah". I guess by now the coffee had hit his system because his eyes were now darting.

     "Jesus! " Alisa shouted." I give up"

She didn't. She always said that, but she never did. I knew she had a crush on him . A big one at that , so she never did.

     "Uh no Al. It's not what you think. I have been out with a couple of niggas and I got drunk and she happened. No biggie, I didn't do anything stupid ,trust me".  He was ranting on furiously.

     " Trust you?. Yeah , if I were her i'ld quit right now. Like give up and maybe you'd know the helluva job she's doing, managing us and keeping up with our daily stuffs ". I put in for Al. She winked at me quickly.

I got out of bed, slided  the glass panels and walked into the living room. It was a bit messy. The bottles of alcohol I took last night were scattered on the floor. The cleaner would come in later in the day. I put the phone on a camera stand,while I fix an orange juice.

    "I knew you didn't come home last night. Why would you hang out with those guys Nick?", Nike asked. He was now up in his kitchen area.

      " I swear we were only going to party for a while and drink a little,but damn I got drunk." He was really remorseful. But the fucker was always remorseful whenever he did something bad. He would still do it again.

      Those paparazzis were always out to fish whatever they could get from celebrities. I really hope nothing happened yesterday.

     " Well now...Alisa is going to quit. Yo done it this time Nick. Our concert, the dance practices everything maybe ruined if s**t happened last night. Where would we find a better assistant manager, Nick. Muh' fucker!" I shouted at him. That guy needed a real s******g in the head. The sound of the blender filled the room.

     " No no Al. Wait there for me. I'll come explain everything. Please", he was already hurrying out of bed. Ignored the blonde who was coming for a hug and cut the call.

     We laughed so hard after seeing him. He was definitely scared this time. Definitely. Wheew.

        "Sorry Al, you know Nick,he can be stupid at times", Nike apologized.

He sat on the stool ,drinking his fixed tea.

     "I know Nick" she chuckled. Dropped the file in her hands and focused on us. " But I really hope no one got pictures of any sort. Or he just didn't do anything at all. The concert is in less than two months and there's a lot of work and effort we are putting in it". She explained.

     " It'll go well,girl. It always did right. Nothing would happen" I assured her. I fixed Scott his treat and settled for my drink.

     " So what's good for today. What's our schedule?" Nike asked.

  " Well you guys have a signing event with your fans today at 11 till 1. It's gon' be pretty crowdy and packed, so be prepared for a long day. Steve asked me to remind you not to expose anything about the concert".

   "We know that " I said. Drank the orange juice and sighed. I should be cool with Steve, the guy saved me. Just that sometimes,he would do somethings I couldn't take.

    "And a photoshoot session for the Vuitton ad, from 2 ending in 4. Then we return to prime for the five o'clock practice with team Luke.".

    I groaned at that. I was not about to face that girl again. I mean no one talked back at me, but the girl f*****g did. I felt like I could smash something right now. And it was not helping that the twins were protecting her, blaming me for acting that way.

      Who the f**k is she anyway?

I know I might have been unreasonable, doubting she was a dancer. The girl was a helluva dancer. It looked like she was born for it. Every part of her screamed dance. And she was beautiful,real beautiful,with her blue hair, deep dimples. Her caramel eyes and her curvy shapes. She was only wearing shorts and hoodie yesterday that I couldn't even look at any other person.

     When she fell on me, she wasn't looking at me. So I took the chance to quickly look at her ,she was so pretty up close.

I didn't want any one to suspect anything. I didn't want to let my guard down. Women were just the same after all. And why won't she look at where she was going, what if she hadn't landed on me, what if I wasn't there and she had fell on the floor. She could have gotten herself injured or worse. I had to just scream cause I didn't even know what to say.

     I drank myself to stupor last night. I thought something was wrong with me . She was only a girl. She mustn't have any effect on me. No one had. No one had stood up to me. Nor spoke back to me. I think that was what got me angry the most, that I might have not been controlling myself. I was angry that after everything that has happened to me, I could still let another girl have an effect on me.

     I wasn't going to let my guard down. I am Trap after all. Girls should fall for me, not me falling for them , and there was no chance I would fall for her. I was clearly stressed out, like Nike had said. I would never let her get to me.

    The f**k, she ain't gonna  just come in and do s**t like that. I am the Trap, if it happened again,I would have to speak with Steve. At least dancers came and if I was not satisfied, they would go. So she ain't gon' be any different.

    "You know the usual. We meet an hour or two before schedule so we can get you ready".

   "Aye captain " ,Nike replied. He finished his tea and dropped the glass on the counter.

    " Where the f**k is big bo anyway. Isn't this his job", I had to ask. I mean Alisa was just an assistant. She was like practically doing all his works, while he did what?

    " He kind of went on a leave. Told me he had some issues to sort out. He was going to come the day before yesterday. Now I don't know anymore." she answered.

  " It's been a month already, and we have a concert we're planning. Did you tell Steve?" I asked.

   She rubbed her neck sheepishly and shooked her head. " It might jeopardize his work. And what if he comes back"

    I sighed," I don't understand you Alisa. He is not picking calls, he is not reporting to duty. And it's been a month. If you don't do it. I will"

  She heaved gently,rubbed her face. "No Trap. Me and Bo go a long way. We've been working for five years now, I don't know what's wrong with him." She tried to coax

"Fine. A week. Please ,our work is also important." I told her .

      "Alright. I need to go now". She said

"Oh Alisa" I called before she could leave the group.

"Yeah?"

       "Do go easy on Nick, will ya?",it was more like me teasing her, 'cos we all knew she really would go easy on him.

      Her cheeks flushed red,she tried to hide it while she quickly leave the group.

    I smiled at that.

           "Are you good?", Nike asked.

" Yeah...why did you ask"

"About yesterday"

    No . I did not want to talk about that. Yesterday was what it was. I'm not going to hear some billy-dally about my character. About how I acted. Or anything to trigger my thoughts about the girl.

"I'm good Nike."

   He nodded,"okay brother,I'm out", and he cut the call.

    With a loud groan, I buried my head in my arms on the kitchen counter.

      Cold water hit my face in a rush,and splashed down my body. I leaned my hand on the tiled wall. Breathe in a scruffy breath and sighed.

      "Can't believe you are dancer..."

I remembered what I said yesterday. I couldn't believe I said that. I clearly knew she was a good dancer. All of them was,but she really could dance,why did I say that. I must have been out of my mind.

         I am a dancer,and a good one at that.

      Damn,she was so cool and pretty when she was angry. Never met a girl like her,I mean most girls would have squirmed ,cried or hid their emotions but she spoke back fiercely. Making my heart do the flips.

         Being childish over little things,what is wrong with you?-she had pointed out yesterday.

   Exactly what I wanna know ,what is wrong with you Trap - my mind scolded - she is just an ordinary girl .

      But she is not just ordinary. She is pretty and cute. That fierce blue hair sure clicks something in me.

Ugh! But there have been pretty and cute girls trap . Way prettier than her. The f**k are you doing?

          I rubbed my face frantically. It was true. I am a world wide top artist,I have met and seen girls way prettier than that chic,so what was wrong with me. I didn't think it was only her beauty that has got me all worked up. I felt like there was more to her, more puzzles to piece together. f**k I was doing this again.

       This is clearly another trap. I mean Sidney and Maria are enough reason to not fall in love again.

I sighed. It was right. I was not falling in love , the thought of it alone scared me. s**t was not gon' happen to me again.

       I quickly washed, turned off the shower and wrapped myself in a blue robe.

    I had opened the remaining curtains now,the surrounding environment was in full view. The basketball court on the other side of the house was also in view,me and the guys do hang out here too. On days when our schedule was on green.

      I crossed the room to my walk-in closet. It was big, enough to be a whole designer store.

      Can't blame me , will ya?. I'm a  billionaire artist. I'm stinking rich.

I had a sector for suits, a big sector for my jeans,cargo pants and pants in general. Another sector for my shirts,tops,hoodies,jackets all in designers of all kinds.

     I have my own big collection of sneakers, ranging from Nike, Adidas , Balenciaga , Hilfiger and other designer brands.

    I got dressed. Slipped on a  black jeans,wore a long white top and covered it with a black, hoodie,leather jacket. My hands skimmed on the glass panel where I kept the wrist watches.

Mmn, gold,silver,diamond,black, Rolex, white...

    "Rolex it is", i opened the glass panel and picked the shiny designer wrist watch, fastened the strap on my wrist and worked on my white hair. I just brushed the bangs forward and neatly. My makeup artist will work on me before the signing event. I put in tiny black earrings in my ears.

       I grabbed a pair of clean white Balenciaga triple s top sneakers, slipped it on and went into the living room. I retrieved my Benz key from the table,I remember leaving it here when I came in last night and went straight for beers.

      My phone rang on the table.

  "Oh right on time." I picked the call, "Doctor Frank,how's it going. Are you in the country now,cause I need to talk to you".

        "Yeah I am. I just got in last night. When do we fix?" His voice was becoming faint seeing he was aging.

       "Ugh, I'll get back to you. Just need to check with my manager" I informed him.

Scott barked. He looked real nice and smelled nice too. I made sure to give him a thorough bath before I had mine.

     "Okay . Talk to you later"  He said and ended the call. I figured he was busy on his end.

    I shrugged that away. I really need to fix a date with him. Last time I checked, my last consultation wIth him was when Maria broke up wit me and that was last year. It took a lot of pills and rehab to calm me down and get me back to normalcy.

   "Come here boy" I cooed to Scott and he came, his tongue licking me all over. "We will have to drop you in the dorm today. The cleaner is gonna be here and she ain't gon' come here again,if you gon' go bout barking at her .C'mon".

Anna

       It was surreal when I first woke up. I mean I was in a very beautiful and white room,that has touches of pink everywhere.

       I stretched very loudly and yawned.

     "Official day in dorm selfie!", Kate squealed and took a shot of my surprised face.

"Sneaky b***h. I'ld sue you if I don't love you already" I threatened

" Nah...It's okay. you love me." She said, pressing her phone."Ah don't you just love it here, An" she squealed again

      I smiled, rolled around on my plush pink bunk bed."I really love it Kate, the air conditioning ,the environment. Everything".

      "Exactly. I mean my room back at home is as big and plush as this but it's different and more homey. I never shared my room with anyone ,maybe that's why", she muttered. She bumped on the big, pink ,duck couch under her bunk bed.

     " Guess what"

"What?", She asked, her eyes glowed.

      I climbed down the bed, and stood akimbo in my night wear," you now share a room with this amazing person", I announced cheerfully.

    Okay maybe I'm a little bit narcissistic.

  She hit me with one of her scarfs. And I laughed.

     We had arranged the room properly last night and put our things in place. Although we would still love to put in some more decorations,let it have real girly warmth. Maybe some flowers,fairy lights and some other things. Alisa said it was okay to that. So why not.

Mum had called and I had reassured her a thousand times that I was going to be okay.

     "I wonder what the boys are up to this morning. Something is itching me in my back to go and check" she said,fiddling with a pen on her little desk.

     "Before you go.. shall we dye my hair?". I asked, trying to be as eager as I could so she could also get in the mood .

      "No way" she shot up the couch ,very excited. "You're dyeing your hair again. What color is it this time. Purple, maroon red, uh..black and yellow?"

     Okay, she was really super excited about this. She always was.

    "Okay, calm your t**s. It's pink"

"What!. Pink is beautiful. Oh let's get on with this already", she gushed, her hands pushing me to the spacious bathroom.

         Okay..maybe overly super duper excited. She's Kate after all.

       We worked on my hair for two hours, by now the boys were already knocking at our door to check on us. We played pranks on them instead.

Like when Zak came, "Open the door you too. What you doing in there since morning"

     "What... Is there a reason why we can't masturbate again",Kate said that.

    And my eyes widened at that. I palmed my hands to stop me from laughing.

     " Shit..you dirty people!", He muttered and ran away.

   We finally broke into laughter when we knew he was gone.

I gave her the finger and she smacked my back. She washed my hair again ,and this time it gave me the pink color I wanted . She wrapped my hair in a pink towel,and pulled my head up from the sink.

    "There all done. It's really beautiful on you, An.", She said

      And I blushed."yeah I know"

She smacked again and I giggled.

      "What's going on in there", we heard a loud knock, but this time we couldn't make out who was at the door. I mean is it a crime we were in our room again. We could stay a whole day in here, it's nothing of their business.

     "Whoever is it imma cut your balls if you don't f*****g keep it quiet over there." Kate threatened, " That's if you have a ball at least".

     We moved from the bathroom to the room and sat on our chairs,while I dry my hair.

     " It's Daniel, Kate. And I would like to see you cut my balls. Oh,wait... you just said I don't have one".

     Oops. "Someone's in trouble" I whispered to her,all giggly

     She shot up from the couch at once, " oh my God, no no Daniel.", She opened the door. "Hi handsome".

        He didn't reply,just turned around and left. She closed the door behind her and followed him.

     Sheesh.. Too dramatic.

I smiled to myself. I kept cleaning my hair with the towel when all of a sudden my hands dropped.

     My heart slammed on my chest.

    s**t,not now. What if Kate ran into the room. I hate it. It was still my hands,if treatment is delayed,it could move to my legs. And I would not be able to take that.

     Fear gripped me, my eyes darted around the room furiously, as if checking if someone was watching me. My heart was in my throat, beating loudly. I was afraid. I needed to call the doctor. To me, it felt like I was dying soon. Sweat and goosebumps filled me at the thought of  death.

No,I can't die now. The hell is this?.

    Fifteen minutes and it was over. I broke a long sigh. Fought for air and shifted gently on my chair. I closed my already parted mouth and counted till I was calm.

    God why?

I buried my head in my palms. Reassuring myself over and over again.

     You'll be okay Anna, everything will be okay. You'll definitely get through this,one way or the other. Dad won't leave you alone,you know. So pull yourself together,you got this babe.

    " Yeah I got this." , I said again,cleaned the tears in my eyes and grabbed my phone. I quickly dialed the doctor's number and for a while I thought maybe he was busy , cause he wasn't picking up. I called again and two rings went by before he picked the call.

    "Hello. Doctor Stein here,what can I do for you". The very gentle male voice called out.

    "Hi , I'm Anna Luke from doctor Sam", I responded. I was really doing this. Talking to a doctor, because I have an illness. Shitty world it is.

      "Oh yeah, he told me you were going to call. So you want to come in for consultation?", He asked

    "Uh uh. It's getting worse doctor"

" Okay. I'll send you the address. Come in tomorrow ...uh, 3pm,okay?"

    "Yeah, works for me. Thank you doc" I said and cut the call.

  Wheew. Well, all the best Anna.

Thank goodness ,because at that moment the door flung open and Kate entered, all smiley.

   "Got my babe back", she announced.

"You always do Kate."