THESE THINGS I'LL NEVER SAY

sleepless moments

Alice woke up... It was still dawn. She was embarrassed, confused and more turned on than she had ever been in her whole life. What the hell just happened?! She realises that she is hugging one of her pillows and immediately lets go, as if it burned her. She tried to think straight... She was not gay. She definitely was not gay for Jane, it was just that stupid book, it were just Jane's stupid thoughts, her stupid infatuation with her. Without even realising she was hugging her pillow again. Thinking about that infuriating woman, she sighed and turned around reaching for the notebook in her drawer, "13.I miss when we used to have lunch together. Your wit and sarcasm always made my day. I loved our inside jokes.". Alice smiles despite herself, thinking back on some occasions, Jane could match her in the teasing she gave her, always quick to reply. Always listening to her when she talked about this or that. Really listening to her... It had been so easy right from the start, "14.I remember the first time I ever saw you.. I didn't even know you name. We saw each other and you smiled. That moment time stood still, I was sure that you would impact my life somehow. I knew you were one person I destined to meet." Alice tried to recall her own memory of the event, it hand not been that relevant to her... But she remembered walking in the hall from the cafeteria back to her office, when she saw a younger woman she did not recognise. Short hair a bit androgynous looking, clearly a bit lost in the hall. She had made a mental note to ask Julia about her. Julia had always kept a more eclectic group of friends and usually was well informed of all the gossip. She would have never imagined that moment had left such a mark on Jane.