Lost In Her Shell

Chapter one

You know those girls that everyone assumes to be a psycho, those ones that never seems to have any friends umm always alone, yhhh that how I'm often described by people. Well not that I'm a psycho but everyone just thinks that I am. Apparently a girl who can always stand up for herself without giving a s**t what people think or a girl who just doesn't like human interactions or not makes friends is a psycho. Funny how these characteristics just happen to fully describe me but then isn't it a bit too much to call me as a psycho, I mean sometimes I do feel like I need to see a psychiatrist, a Counsellor or someone, I mean just anyone. f**k I even diagnosed myself with some mental disorders or whatever and I wonder if its normal for people to do this but, I do believe everyone does though cos I've never met any normal person in my life, everyone seems to have one disorder or the other. Well this girl definitely does. BPD? Bipolar? OK maybe neither but I'm sure I have something or maybe not. When you are born to a parent of different races and you barely even remember what they look like, I guess that feeling just does something to you. The feeling of not knowing where you actually belong. Born to a Nigerian mum and a Canadian dad, I go by the name Emma Lola Raymond. Never been to Nigeria though or maybe I have but I really don't care. Mum died when I was five and I've been living with her sister Lucy ever since. Sometimes I wonder where the rest of my mums family are and why they never came to see me after her death but it's not like I care. Well anyways, today is a big day for me as I would be graduating from high school. Finally I get to leave that s**t hole. High school was pretty much hell for me so I'm really excited for today.

"Aren't you ready yet? " why does she keep yelling. Lucy has awaited this day for a very long time now. Damn she is even more excited than I am. She has been the only one there for me ever since I was five. I wonder how she isn't tired of me yet. Bringing up someone else's child can be a hassle and ontop of that she was only 20 when I moved in with her but she never once complained. She would always smile and call me her dumpling while squeezing my cheeks. I think I can call her my bestfriend now cause she would always listen when I have something to say even if it is the dumbest s**t. I snap out of my thought as the door to my room opens.

"What have you been doing young lady? The ceremony starts in an hour and you aren't even prepared yet. Gawwd hurry up" Her brows furrow together as she speaks. Ohh what a sight to behold. I love it when she gets mad. In general I love it when I get people mad. I watch her stomp out of my room furiously. Now let's get ready. Putting on a pair a jeans and this really cute tank top she got me, I grap my jacket and bag and hurry downstairs. The disappointment on her face when she sees me makes me stop my tracks immediately.

"Ughhh what's with the look" I ask her but the response I get is her dragging me by the arm to her room.

"What in the world do you think you are wearing. This is your graduation ceremony not a party being thrown by some high school kid. Where is my kit? " I just stare at her the whole time and watch her look for her makeup kit. She should be glad I chose this outfit cos I would never have dressed this way in the first place.

"Here sit" she pulls me to the chair and starts applying a bunch of stuffs on my face. I thought she was nagging about me being late a few minutes ago and now this. Mehn I hate my life right now. I try to look at the large mirror next to me but she instantly turns my chair to the other direction.

"No peeking young lady" oh my I'm not even allowed to look in the mirror!!! Oh no she's touching my hair. Not the hair. I try to get up but she pushes me back down to the chair. Ughhhh!!! I keep looking at my watch and in exactly 30 minute she's done.

"Woa Lucyyyyy" I say, clapping my hands together as she gives me the final touch "you just set a new world record."

"Here wear this instead" she hand me a blue dress before I could turn around and help me put it on.

"Lucy it's too tight"

"Shut up, it fits perfectly" I hear a sudden clap as I try to adjust the dress "ahhhh now come over Emma and look at this beautiful creation. Aren't you just perfect". I look at myself in the mirror and wow is all I hear myself say. Yup it does fit. Is that me? No wayyy. I look almost unrecognisable, it's feels like a different person is staring right back at me. No no no noooo Emma.. this isn't you!!!. I hate it. But wanna love it at the same time.

"Lucyyyyyyy" I yell her name "what have you done to me? I have to get out of this dress. Nope not wearing this" I'm about to unzip it when she holds my hands.

"You look beautiful" she says in a shaky voice, her eyes almost watering. Oh no I hate it when this happens I wasn't even going to take it off, I was just joking. I know how much work she put into this so why would I want to hurt her feelings.

"It's just for today okay. You can go back to your usual self tomorrow. Just for today" she tells me and I just nod in agreement. I guess it's you and I today baby. I look at the dress and sigh, "just for today" the sentence keeps repeating in my head. We start gathering our stuffs and her phone beeps. That's must be our ride. I look at her and the look on her face says it's all. Let's goo. We head outside to the front of the building. I take in the sight of the beautiful flowers and sculpts surrounding the building as the cool breeze hits my exposed shoulders and I smile. Looking back at the building that stands tall in front of me and the beautiful compound, I'm once again reminded of just how rich Lucy is. I look at Lucy as we both head towards the limo and look up at the sky. Its really cloudy today. The chauffeur lays out his hand as we are about to get in but I ignore it and give him the smile. Man I'm sure he's sick of me already. I look at my aunt who wouldn't stop smiling and she grasps my arm as soon as we are seated. The vehicle begins motion and I let out a deep breath.

"Troy high school here I come" I say looking out the window as the huge building slowly disappears from sight.