Chapter 14
1578 Words
The thing is...
What most people don't know is that me and Luka grew up in the same family.
The news articles always left out the part that we were close even before his idol career took of.
I slowly started reminding things in the weeks after Luka started investigating my so called accidents.
I never told Luka.
I had this feeling that everything wasn't as it seems.
My first memory was very clear.
I was in the washrooms of the stadium luka played at when a group of his fans attacked me after they saw some photos of us making out in his car.
I don't deny anything and took the beatings.
The second one I remember was of him and Sandra Lincoln from Expectations, a British girl group who was doing a colab with them a few years back.
I remember me having an argument with him about her.
"Luka, you promised... How could you ever touch someone else?"
He took me in his arms.
"Listen baby, I love you but I also need to get my frustration out somehow... And well if you would just..."
This was the biggest red flag to me.
In my memories so far it seems that I never had s*x with Luka.
I remember that I told him if he loved me he would wait until we got married.
The fact that I had Anna was my biggest surprise.
As I was 100% sure Nathan took my virginity.
The blood that was in my pajamas that night was my evidence.
I was still watching the the moon ride over the trees when Luka came in with Anna sleeping on his shoulder.
I got up.
"Relax I wil put her down, dish out food I'm starving."
He said as he walked up tue steps.
I walked to the kitchen and took the food and placed them in the microwave.
I was in my own thoughts whe I felt Luka wrap his arms around my waist.
He kissed me softly on my neck his breath lingering a bit.
" Baby... I need you please... ."
I knew what he wanted but I wasn't ready.
I pulled out of his embrace and walked to the cabinet to get some cutlery.
"Fuck..."
I heard him say under his breath.
I took the food and placed it on the table but when I turned around I saw him walk out the door.
Whenever I would say no he would leave and when he returned I would smell the perfume on his clothes.
I knew he was sleeping around.
This was happening since I returned.
But I couldn't bring myself to have s*x with him.
I wanted all my memories back before I made such a rash decision.
My heart wasn't anything I could understand.
I longed to see Nathan but I was with Luka.
To much was out of place.
My family soon heard from Nathan about Anna and well, they have been trying to get Luka to agree for them to meet her, but he was very reluctant.
I left his food on the table and went to bed.
Somewhere durinng the night Luka returned.
I heard him enter the room and than go to the bathroom and take a shower.
He was definitely trying to hide his f*****g around.
I felt angry.
I knew he was cheating but I couldn't do anything.
I kept my eyes closed when I heard the door of the bathroom open.
He soon got dressed and than got into the bed next to me.
He slowly pulled the blanket over to his side and moved closer to me, his one arm he pushed under my neck while the other her used to turn me to his side.
He pulled me into his chest.
Making himself comfortable before kissing the top of my head.
"I'm sorry baby..."
He whispered.
Than held me tightly.
I feel like I might cry.
What am I still doing here.
I don't know, but I need to make a decision soon.
The next morning I woke up with luka still fast asleep, me in his arms.
I slowly got up, making sure not to desturb him.
I went and took a shower than walked out of the room as quickly as possible, making no sound.
I entered the kitchen to find Anna and Nathan's mother having breakfast.
"O lovely... Come have breakfast, I am sure you must be tired, seeing you and luka came home so late."
What?
I forgot she doesn't know what was going on between me and Luka.
Maybe she heard Luka come home last night.
I sent Anna to bed early last night as she has a very long weekend ahead as she is going on a field trip with her teacher.
His mother and father was already in their rooms by the time he returned last night but they probably didn't know he left alone and came back alone.
O well not my problem.
"I'm not tired at all... Actually..."
I was about to tell her that Luka was out alone last night when Luka came in.
"Hey mom... I am sorry if we woke you up when we came home last night... I wanted some alone time with Maya so.."
She just smiled and brushed it of.
Lier.
I just looked at him.
He took some toast and sat next to me.
His hand on my thigh.
"I know you're angry but lets not talk about this while Anna is around okay..."
He whispered in my ear before kissing me on my cheek.
I felt the anger bursting in my heart.
I picked up my plate which was completely empty and put it in the zink.
"Anna when u ready please come call me so I can drop you off..."
"Your not having breakfast.?"
Luka's mother asked.
"I suddenly lost my appetite.."
She looked at Luka and than at me.
I saw him curse under his breath.
I was in my room getting ready when Luka came in.
"Maya..."
I came out of the bathroom and sat in front of the mirror, pulling a brush through my hair.
"Maya... Can we please talk about this... You're making this hard... You want to say something please wait till we are alone... You know Anna..."
"f**k you Luka..."
I said before he could continue.
I got up and walked to the closet.
I grabbed a bag and started putting things inside.
He walked up to me and help me from behind.
"Baby calm down... Let talk about this please... For Anna..."
I push him away.
"No more talking... You come home all hours of the night take showers and than come apologize before falling asleep, while I am fast asleep.. Or so you assume..."
His eyes are wide.
"do you really think I don't know... I can't feel... Or smell... Or think for myself.."
He again wrapped his arms around me.
"I am sorry... Please... Lets just talk.. Please..."
I pushed him against the door and scoffed at him heading to the bathroom to take my toiletries.
He walked in behind me and than he forced me again the wall.
He started kissing me frantically, pulling at my clothes.
I was strong but not so strong.
As he was pulling at my clothes I kept struggling.
The more I struggled the more force he used.
"Stop... Luka your hurting me.. Please..."
He was not listening.
I finally stopped moving.
This wasn't working.
When I stopped moving he suddenly also stopped.
Tears started make their way down my cheeks.
"Baby... I... Maya... Why.."
"DON'T stop now... Please... Have your way... This is why your are sleeping around isn't it... Because I am not giving you what you want at home..."
I said looking straight into his eyes.
He seems remorseful.
I started pulling of the rest of my clothes that he still didn't.
Soon I was completely naked in front of him.
" Do it... I am ready... "
He just looked at me.
He than turned around and grabbed a towel and covered my body.
He held me tightly against his chest.
"I know I am wrong and I admit I want to have s*x with you... But I don't want to do it like this... I want to be... Maya please..... Just hear me out..."
I can't understand why he isn't understanding me.
Was I not clear enough.
I want to leave and if he wants s*x in exchange for my freedom than that's fine.
" I don't want to talk... Just do what you want and let me go..."
I wasn't looking at him.
His embrace tighten.
"I will never let you go... Even if I do that.. Have my way with you, I can never let you go... Maya I love you..."
I felt sick at his words.
Suddenly I needed to vomit.
I turned around and fought the toilet.
I started vomiting.
Luka grabbed my hair and held it back.
" Baby are you okay... "
I push his hands away and than vomited some more.
This wasn't something new.
Its almost a month now that I have this stupid nausea when ever I get overwhelmed.
"Get out... Get the f**k out..."
I screamed and vomited some more.
Luka left.
I heard the door close.
I washed my face and gargle my mouth than made my way out.
I looked at the bag on tue floor.
Should I stay or should I go?
- Writer
