The Book Fight

CHAPTER 13: Home Advantage

SEKANI

“You little tosser,” Yi giggles after the 3rd ring.

“Are you alright?” I smile when I hear her voice. “Sorry I took so long to check in, I’ve been slipping in and out of consciousness all day.”

“With the way we drank last night, I’m surprised you’re awake.” She applauds, “but I’m good. You know Ryder took care of me, what about you?”

“What about me?” I start making the bed to pass time.

“Aston was superman last night. He helped you to the car and said that he got you.” Yi tries to imitate his voice. “He then texted his address and a picture of you sound asleep around 2am.”

“Well, he also watched me puke most of the night, wrapped my hair up with a t-shirt and let me sleep all day.” I fluff the pillows. “He had me alright,” he had me losing my mind half the night.

“Buck was right,” Yi sounds impressed. “Parker is a big sweetheart but doesn’t want anyone to know.”

“Do you still need me to go home so you can sleepover?” I decide to change the subject.

“Nah but if my mother calls…”

“I know what to do.” I notice the headboard is a bit crooked.

“Good, thank Aston for taking care of you for me.” She blows kisses to the phone.

“Thank Ryder for the same thing.” I kiss back before hanging up.

I try to adjust Aston’s headboard but my notebook—the same one Aston swore he didn’t have—falls out. As I hold it in my hand, a series of emotions flood through me.

Anger.

Betrayal.

Sadness.

Disappointment.

Rage.

“Sekani?” I run into Kim just as I reach the lower floor. “Finally, I was about to go upstairs and check on you guys.”

“Yeah,” I hold the paper bag in my hand closely. “I just wanted to—” leave.

“No, we are getting some food in you honey, you look a little flushed.” Kim reroutes me to the dining room. “I have to say, I love your curly hair but these locks look amazing on you, sweetie.”

Kim puts a plate full of food in front of me.

“Thank you,” I try to smile when she sits across from me. “My aunt did them and she’ll love that you’ve said that. She wants to be a hairdresser,” I pick up a fork.

“Well, she is good. I’ve seen you with 3 hairstyles so far and I love them all.” I am about to respond but Kim’s face lights up when she sees something behind me.

“Having dinner without me? Aston’s voice makes the chicken I’m eating feel like glass as I swallow it.

He is in grey shorts similar to mine and a loose grey and black, baseball long sleeve. He takes a seat at the head of the table which is right next to me.

“Never,” Kim stands to kiss his cheek before going to the kitchen.

“How’s the food? Mom went through a master chef phase.” Aston whispers but I remain silent, I don’t even look at him. “Okay,” his voice drops.

“Here you go.” Kim places a steaming plate similar to mine in front of him.

“Thanks mom,” I hear him mumble because I keep my eyes on my own plate.

Today’s menu at the Parker house is roasted chicken and vegetables with yellow rice. It looks amazing and taste even better but Aston’s presence is making it hard to stomach anything.

I should have listened to the warning bells that rang like crazy in my head the night we were in his pool but I mistook them for butterflies. I really thought we had something.

But I was a fool and he is a liar.

I try to eat at least half of the contents on my plate as Kim and a barely interested Aston talk. Eventually she gives up and turns her attention back to me.

“So Sekani, do you have a boyfriend?” I nearly choke on the baby potato I am chewing.

“Mom!” Aston frowns.

“It’s alright,” I clear my throat and sip some water. “No, I do not have a boyfriend,” I shift in my seat because I have never even come close.

“What?” Kim’s eyes widen with obvious shock, “a girl like you is single? What’s wrong with the boys in this town? Do they have eyes?”

“Oh, don’t be fooled mom.” Aston counters. “They try and try, like a lot.” A lot? “But Sekani is not interested, no one knows why though—especially me.”

Kim nods like she understands what he is talking about.

“It’s because I’m too busy with school, swimming and progress to get a boyfriend.” I wipe the corners of my mouth.

“Progress?” Kim is the one to question.

“Yes.” I am done stalling.

I have had dinner and now I want to go home and read my book while I wipe Aston from my existence.

“I don’t get it,” Kim supports her face with her hands.

“I lost my mother when I was 12years old, suicide.” The tension in the room goes from 0 to 100. “It’s been nearly 5years now but you know grief,” I shudder, “it’s a working progress.”

“Sekani I’m—” Kim shrinks 2sizes when I raise my hand to stop her.

“I had this notebook,” I interject apologetically. “Leather covers, looked more like a journal and it helped me through it. It made life easier for me,” better even.

“Had?” Kim catches on quick.

“Yes, I lost it recently so things have been hard.” I feel Aston’s gaze but I don’t look at him. “Really hard but I’m managing Kim,” especially now that I found it.

They exchange looks, so I take it as my window to leave. The food is delicious but I can’t stand this anymore, it hurts too much to be here.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me.” I push back my chair and they stand with me on instinct. “I should go home but dinner was very delicious.”

I turn away but Kim pulls me in for a hug. The belly feels weird in the middle of us but the hug feels great—it’s exactly what I needed.

“I am so sorry Sekani.” Kim whispers as tears pool the corner of my eyes. “I had no idea.” It sounds like her heart is breaking too.

“You’re a good mother,” I say when the hug breaks. “Thank you for dinner and for letting me sleep over but I should really go,” before I start crying.

“But Aston said you were home alone and it’s pouring out,” her face falls.

Somehow Kim convinces me to let Aston drive me home. I agree because taxis take time to arrive when it rains and I didn’t want to be there any longer

“I didn’t know about your mother.” Astons says after switching the car off.

The ride to my house was silent but we’re across the street from my house now and it’s raining harder than before.

“Thanks for the ride,” I ignore his statement. “I’ll return your clothes on Monday.”

I open the door and walk through the rain without shielding myself. The need to be as far away from him as humanly possible, growing by the second.

“You can keep the clothes, actually f**k the clothes.” Aston follows me to the porch. “Just tell me what I have done. Why are you mad at me?”

“I never stopped being mad at you Aston. I just blacked out and had a hangover all day.” I search the paper bag for my house keys.

“Sekani I told you that—”

“And you lied because I found it!” I pull out the notebook instead and his face drains of color. “I found my notebook in your room Aston!”

“You went through my things?” He rakes his wet hair back.

Seriously?

This is the defense?

“Go home.” I replace the book for my house keys.

“Sekani its more complicated than you think.” He stutters but the door gives away. “Sekani please—”

“Oh my word!” I toss the paper bag inside the house. “I don’t care,” I face him. “I refuse to let you make me the angry black woman.”

For all I know, he can shove his apology up his ass because all I care about is my notebook. I can finally get my life back no thanks to him.

“I didn’t know about your mom.” Aston repeats for some reason.

“Like it would have changed a thing.” I am too tired to entertain whatever is happening here.

“Sekani,” his face contorts.

“I’m done Aston.” I hate that my voice cracks. “I’m done with you and your crap.”

Done with all the games and the back & forth. I am done trying to understand him or see through whatever we have or could have had.

I am done.

“Sekani lets just talk about this and I’m sure you’ll understand—”

“We have nothing to talk about because I meant it when I said I won’t forgive you. Not for this.” I step into my house. “Now go home Aston!” I slam the door in his face and press my back against it.

I look at the paper bag by my feet and ask myself the one question I wanted to ask him.

Was it even worth it?

Monday.

One weekend with basic instructions and everything is better than it has been in weeks.

By the time the weekend was over, I had managed to stop the nosebleeds, the anxious sweating during the night and I don’t wake up in panic anymore. I even convinced my father to start dating again.

He lets me create an online dating profile and everything.

Despite me falling back into my old routine and things beginning to look up, something doesn’t feel right especially the moment I walk in school.

“Sign a card for Parker?” Buck appears when I close my locker. “You too Yi,” he adds when she appears next to me.

“Why are we signing a card for Aston?” Yi still pulls out a pen.

“He has been in the hospital all weekend, I want to cheer him up.” He opens the bear shaped greeting card. “But no one knows so keep it hush.”

“Is he okay?” Yi asks the million-dollar question.

“His bladder nearly burst but he is fine now. I going to see him after school.” Buck looks at me, “write something sweet. I am adding a balloon.”

“Of course,” Yi ends her message with a heart before passing me the pen and card.

Get well soon, S.R

I don’t bother to add a heart because I honestly don’t believe I have one as of this second. Everything is too still to commit to an emotion.