The Book Fight

CHAPTER 3: A beautiful disaster

ASTON

Tuesday.

At lunch, Buck sticks to his word and calls for me when I enter the cafeteria, so I stick to mine and join him with his friends.

“Everybody this is Parker, the guy who had balls to take on the rugby captain and the Pirate’s linebacker.” Buck introduces and the table applauds as some laugh.

“Aston is just fine,” I correct awkwardly when they move down seats to create space for me.

Fortunately, random chatter spreads around as I mostly talk to Buck after learning everyone’s name. He asks me about my car and my old school before a girl arrives and takes his attention.

Since I feel eyes on me, I look up to find Sekani and her Asian friend staring from the table across ours. Their questions are clear but they both look away when my gaze stays.

“Aston? Dude, are you even listening?” Someone throws a baby carrot at me.

“No, what was that?” My question earns me a few snickers.

“I said you don’t smell like pot today.” MJ, the guy sitting next to me repeats. “Your eyes are not bloodshot either, what? Are you sober?”

“Nah,” I shake my head. “I’m just not as high today.”

Everyone laughs again, it’s either I am really amusing or everything I say is taken for a joke. Nonetheless, I find it oddly comical too.

“Quit that s**t or you’ll fry your brain Parker.” Buck throws another baby carrot at me, the girl he was talking to gone.

“Stop wasting food.” I throw the carrot back at him and launch a table mini food fight that gets broken up by the bell.

“See you later Parker.” MJ grins as we stand. “It was nice to meet you—finally,” some of them say as I follow Buck to the bins.

“See Parker, we’re not so bad.” Buck waves goodbye to his friends. “I know you like your whole lone ranger thing but feel free to joins us anytime.”

“Are you doing this because of my dad?” I can’t help but ask.

I’ve had people befriend me because of my family’s money before and he has already apologized because of it. I don’t need the pity friendship nor lunches, I get by on my own.

“Dad?” Buck snorts. “No offense but I don’t care about your father, I just think your cool.”

I almost smile because it was the answer I hoped for. I actually think Buck—despite his ridiculous nickname—is a cool person too.

“But I should mention, my mother told me about your brother.” Buck confesses as we walk out of the hall. “No one else knows but she told me because I lost a friend last year.”

I stop.

“Of course it’s not the same but it’s something we can talk about. I have insight on the crap feeling that stays with you after someone you love passes,” he adds when I stay silent.

“Thanks Buck,” I say through the lump by my throat. “I’d appreciate that,” he gives me a side five before we separate.

I don’t have lunch with him every day but everyone does greet me in the halls. MJ even copies off my homework in English and Buck sometimes stops by to talk in the mornings.

Turns out, we have a lot in common. We even share a few classes and I admit, it’s nice to have someone to talk to during lessons and pair up with for projects.

Being around Buck and them actually made me realize how lonely I’ve been at school. How much I’ve missed having friends and being around people that are not my parents or dealer.

I can’t join a sport because teams get tested for competitions and my attention span is not good enough for clubs, so I didn’t bother with either because I was seriously broken when we moved here.

I alienated all my old friends, pushed my parents away and isolated myself because I was drowning in pain. It became all I know but reading Sekani’s notebook made me realize its time to start healing.

It’s been 3 years.

My parents are done cutting me slack and things have to change if I want to go to a good university. I am about to be a big brother, finish school and hopefully move out soon.

The pain of losing Peetah will always be there but I don’t want to be sad anymore.

I know I’ll never be the soccer ‘golden boy’ I was in New York but I am also done being the ‘loner stoner’ that shuts people out.

I’m not quitting pot or anything drastic because it’s still my coping mechanism but I think I’m ready to get back up again. Or at least start trying to.

“Okay, enough mystery.” Buck appears by locker Friday after school. “Are you gay?”

“What?” I choke on my laugh.

“It’s cool if you are. MJ is gay and he is like a brother, I told him I’d ask because he thinks you’re cute. He asked around and no one has seen you with any girl since you moved here so...”

Wait, people have actually noticed if I have been with a girl or not?

“Come on Parker, I won’t out you.” Buck probes when I don’t respond.

“Did you say MJ was gay?” I genuinely inquire because I had a feeling.

“Yes but the question is, are you Parker?” He muses and I decide to test Buck’s claim to being okay with the l***q+ community.

I have no problem with it either but I grew up in New York. The boys wore skirts and we had no label bathrooms, Rooksville is very different and traditional.

“What if I told you I was but,” I give him a seductive look. “I wanted you instead of MJ. You are more my type—” Buck breaks into laughter.

It was worth a try.

“You’re such an idiot.” He retorts. “I’m guessing you like girls?” I shrug, “I’ll pass it on.” He gives me a mischievous look before walking to the middle of the hall.

“You wouldn’t,” I mock-challenge.

But Buck makes a megaphone around his mouth before clearing his throat to get the attention of the crowded pass way.

“ATTENTION EVERYONE.” He yells, “Aston Martin Parker is hetro! I repeat, the resident emo, bad boy loner, stoner likes females!” He points at me and everyone actually looks. “That pretty boy likes woman, girls, betties, broads, ladies, take your pick but pass it around assholes!”

“You’re a dick.” I ruffle up paper and throw at him when he returns to my side.

“Why? I said I’d pass it on,” Buck laughs and I roll my eyes. “Well man, I have practice, so I’ll talk to you later?” He gives me a side five.

“Later.” I slam my locker and we walk in opposite directions.

Like deja vu, I bump into Sekani and our bags drop again. I’m about to make a joke about her doing this on purpose, just so she can come to my house later but it falls when I look at her.

“Are you okay?” I pick up our bags and stare at the blood stained tissue against her nose.

“Yeah,” she removes it. “My nosebleeds are back,” she opens her bag to check if it’s really hers.

I want to respond but I can’t get over how tired she looks. Even her grey baggy set makes her look frail and small.

It’s clear she’s not wearing any ounce of makeup, including the gloss I assumed she woke up with. But it’s a good think she’s naturally pretty because she doesn’t look like the little Miss Perfect I’ve seen since I’ve been at this school.

It’s very unsettling, it’s like the first sign of the world ending or something.

“I’m late for swimming practice.” Sekani returns the tissue to her nose when I continue staring.

“Get well soon,” I walk away but pause when she calls for me.

“Did you by any chance find a leather notebook in your room or car? Maybe it fell out when our bags got switched last week.” Sekani asks the question I have been dreading. “It’s really important to me and I can’t seem to find it anywhere.”

I try not to panic at the mention of Basic Instructions. I knew this day was coming, it was a miracle I had it all week.

Wait.

Is it the reason she looks so different and meek? No, it can’t be. It’s just a notebook, she can get another because right now, I need it more than her.

“No but I’ll double check,” I lie through my teeth.

I know I should give it back but this notebook is somehow helping me change my life. If Sekani wrote it, then she surely remembers everything and can survive without it.

Right?

Sekani looks like little Miss Perfect again, that’s the first thing I notice when I drive into school Monday morning.

I was worried when I saw her on Friday and I planned to return the book if it meant that much. I’d obviously have to make copies first but it seems all is well now and I can keep it longer.

Thank heavens.

I parked across from her friend’s BMW convertible so I am able to watch her from my car without coming across as a stalker.

Sekani is in all black today, with a lace camisole tucked into her skinny jeans that are folded at the ankle to show strap on sandals. The braids are gone and replaced by her naturally long curly hair that is parted down the middle to show gold, charm drop earrings.

There are still bags under her eyes that she didn’t bother to hide with makeup but she is wearing lip-gloss and even did a wing with eyeliner.

She looks amazing even next to her sidekick, who is in denim shorts, a white sheer shirt button down and black heel boots she’s always wearing.

They stand by the white BMW like they do every morning and do popular girl things as people around school watch. But I’m not those fans so I exit my car.

I throw my black messenger bag over my shoulder and crush the blunt I was smoking with my Converse as I slip on my sunglasses.

After helping paint the baby’s room, I let my mother take me to a barber for a proper haircut instead of doing it myself like I do every month. So I look a bit different today.

I’m in dark blue jeans that look more like skinny jeans they fit so well. The usual black & white Chuck Taylors but I’m in a white plain t-shirt for a change.

I still look like me but I admit, I feel a little different inside too.

My closet consists of dark colors so I had to borrow the tee from Peetah’s old clothes. It’s my way of bringing him to school with me.

The notebook suggested I wear something to familiarize myself with his loss. It’s a step towards accepting death, by making peace with the fact that he will never wear it again.

But I made progress this weekend. I hung out with my mother and helped her with baby stuff. I even texted Buck back a few times and it’s all because of Basic Instructions.

“Who are you staring at?” Buck appears out of nowhere.

He follows my line of sight and snorts when it leads him to the two girls everyone seems to be watching. He slams his large hand on my shoulder with a “nice” and I stumble back a bit.

Buck is like a black teenage Channing Tetum. He is too ripped for a 17-year-old but it’s a good thing I’m tall or I’d look like his son.

“Is it Yi or Sekani?” He hands me a foam cup. “The barista gave me 2 because I’m hot and you’re the first person I saw when I came in.” He explains when my brow arches.

“What if she put some sort of love potion in it? I don’t want to fall for some barista I don’t know.” I sniff the cup like I can tell if it has some sort of aphrodisiac.

“Just take it Parker.” He slips on sunglasses too. “Now Sekani or Soon-Yi?”

“I don’t know who Soon-Yi is but I’m not staring at her.” I throw caution to the wind and take a sip, thankfully it tastes amazing.

“Ah it’s the queen-be then” he sips. “Good because Ryder would kick your ass if you were looking at his girl,” he taps my shoulder and motions for me to follow him.

“Where are we going?” I press a button to lock my car.

“I can’t have my new friend stalking hot girls across the lot. I mean the haircut and clean shirt are a good start but you’re still ugly.”

“d**k,” I snort but nearly choke when I see Buck stop in front of Sekani and her friend.

What are you up to now?