The Unseen Avenger ∘ Marvel

chapter sixteen; aftermath

"Just to get an inside perspective on this, what exactly in the hell were you thinking!"

Fury had taken no time at all in beginning to reprimand me as soon as I was released from a brief medical leave. I'm in his office about twelve hours after we first arrived back. When we regrouped at the SHIELD helicarrier, we were greeted with warm welcomes, clapping, shouting, and general thankfulness. Fury even seemed cheerful, believe it or not. That demeanor had changed very quickly once our meeting began.

"I am very disappointed in you, Firman. You disobeyed direct orders from me to stay on the helicarrier. What was in your head, Agent? Because it sure wasn't your assigned mission. How can I ever rely on you again if you're just going to run around doing your own thing? You knew very well you were rejected from the Avengers Initiative!"

Silence passes as he sits down and I refrain from speaking, knowing there isn't an answer that will satisfy his anger. He drums his fingers on the table, watching me retain a rigid composure. I keep my face placid as he scrutinizes my movements.

A full moment passes before the director speaks again, "But I guess I made the mistake of rejecting you."

I let my expression relax, "Thank you, sir."

I don't stand up immediately to leave, waiting for a proper dismissal so I can take an actual nap, "Permission to leave?

"Granted, but one thing." I move to stand but still await the coming question. Nick sits back in his chair, crossing his arms before speaking with a curious tone, "I wanna know what made you break protocol. Besides your addiction to action, why did you go?"

I resist a low sigh, "The action, obviously. But...."

"But?"

"Coulson death. I promised him I'd make Loki pay. I don't like going back on my word."

I stop, but Fury knows better not to let me go that easily. He gestures for exchange to continue.

"SHIELD trained us, you trained us, to not stop fighting. Not when the battle isn't over yet. Especially not when we know we can do something about it."

I don't think to expand more on another crazy idea: that somehow I could redeem myself. That somehow avenging Coulson and proving to Loki that I wasn't the killer so many claimed me to be would prove the idea to myself. Perhaps I needed to remind myself why I continued to stay in this job. In theory, that was because I wanted to save lives, not take them.

He stays quiet for a pensive time, weighing my response, "So you think you know better than me when to deploy assets?"

I could be hesitant and respectful with my answer, but I shrug instead, "Technically, you give the order for us to go to the ground anyway."

The exasperated sigh he offers lets me know he could admonish me, but decides against it," Well you're now an Avenger."

He hands me a data pad, showing blurred pictures of myself against the brick walls of New York buildings.

"You were either in a corner or moving way too fast. You're the new superhero."

My smile doesn't hide my amusement, looking at the images, "Do I get a name?"

Fury taps his fingers on his desk some more, not looking at me.

"Phantom."

Something in my head registers memories from years ago. The word brings disturbing feelings knotting in the pit of my stomach. I ignore it, my eyes scanning over the hazy pictures on myself.

"Not exactly what I was hoping for, but I could make it work."

He shakes his head, "Well, the first one the public voted for was the Unseen Avenger. Thought you'd might like that better."

I stare at the pictures of me, blurred and disfigured. I smile. I like that.

"Or you could say I'm the Unsienna Avenger."

Fury just stares with his eye, but I swear the corners of his mouth turn up. The director doesn’t let me off that easily and elects to ignore my expertly made pun, "You'll be dismissed but before you go, there is one more thing to discuss.”

My gaze moves to a stack of files before his hands do, but he doesn’t pick up any paper documents. His grip finds a small flash drive no bigger than my thumbnail set near them. Nick hesitates to give me the device before explaining the purpose of it, “With Coulson gone, we’re gonna need people to fill his shoes. Probably take at least three guys to do the job he did, but he picked up some slack on the side too. You can do that in your free time.”

It quickly clicks into place what my boss is asking of me, even the reason I’m in this office. I raise once eyebrow sharply when I realize how he’ll utilize me now that I’m technically ‘in’ a superhuman group no longer totally under SHIELD’s command, “You need a snitch.”

“I need an informant. Phil had connections with pretty much everybody. Now it’s your turn to work that angle.” Fury places the drive on the table in front of me and folds his hands, “Romanoff’s good, but everybody a little too aware of that. She’ll still fact check your intel, but we need an underdog.”

I shift back, deciding whether or not to be offended by the fact my impeccable service record isn’t known or that I’m an accomplished enough intelligence agent for no one to notice my skills, “I fit that bill. Any specifics?”

“Personal relationships, keep tabs on who’s in their life, the usual routine. I want to see how our Avengers perform after this incident.” He tilts his head towards the device and I take it, “That’s all the personnel info Coulson filed. It’ll get you up to speed. Who knows, maybe you’ll get a few friends out of this.”

I find irony at the director’s jab at my social life and general distrust of everybody except for about five people. That number even varied, “I could tell you the same thing.”

It’s luck and his satisfaction with my performance alone that spares from further reprimand at that comment. I turn to go, but I hear ruffling behind me. I spin around fast enough to catch something. A dog tag.

I look up at Fury, who almost finally smiles," Still sharp."

I examine the tag. On one side, it says Sienna Firman, Agent of SHIELD, Unseen Avenger. I flip it over. I smile when I find the Avengers A engraved on it.

I slip it over my neck, "Thanks, Sir."

"Dismissed Firman."

I smile as I look down at it. I'm really an Avenger, one of Earth's Mightiest Heroes. It's so fantastical in even name, it makes me want to scoff mockingly at the sheer hilarity of the title. I decide to enjoy it despite the silly label.

I leave, finding my way towards the cell room. My feet stop for me at the foot of the door. My mindset changes to an entirely different one, not preoccupied with the superhero theatrics of the last day. I swallow while looking at the door of solid metal, my hands reaching into my pocket to feel my new gift, courtesy of Stark.

Loki's in there, with an even more indestructible cage and a collar that doesn't allow him to speak. I bite down hard as I feel anger rise in the cavity of my chest. Less than seventy-two hours ago, it's where the monster killed Coulson. That emotion rules over me as I take the remote Tony gave me out of my jumpsuit pocket. There's still an enemy to be dealt with.

I stride in, pressing the black button on the remote. I catch sight of Loki as he convulses. I smirk, then press it again. He drops to the ground, writhing in pain.

"How does it feel to be powerless," I hiss," Like all the civilians you killed!"

I press the button again and again and again. Each time Loki shakes as electric shocks go up and down his body. This gives me sheer delight, but a pang in my stomach tells me to stop. But I keep pressing.

I finally let the button go, watching the aliens smoking body come up. He glares at me, such hatred in his eyes, a pure anger flickering in his irises.

I throw the remote up in the air and catch it with my other hand," Guess who is powerless now, guess who's the ant?"

I walk closer to the cage as Loki backs away.

"Tony said that was the highest setting, but it was easy to tell he was lying. I think he's confident in his devices, but I've hacked into Stark's things once or twice with ease."

I sigh a little," I bet a few shocks on the highest level would kill an elephant, a few more another. You Asgardians may pretend to be gods, but you can just take a little more than us humans. If this thing could kill a huge, massive animal, think what it could do to you."

I tap on the screen, getting into its settings and rearranging a few things as Loki just stares. I access a few things, type in a few words, change around some files, and I get a few hundred more volts. I look up again.

"Now," I say," Is today a good day to die?"

I press the button as the alien falls, twitching uncontrollably. I let go, and he just stays on the ground, rolling a little.

"Do you feel the sting? The pain of hundreds crying out and being silenced by something they don't understand!"

My finger hovers over the control of Loki's life. I'm itching to press it more, so the thing will never get up. I smirk again.

Stop

I breathe. A voice inside my mind speaks as if it came from nowhere. I shake my head, then let my finger slide down to the button. I'm already the killer.

You can choose not to be a murder, a voice whispers, you can choose to be better than him.

I bite on my lip. My body screams at me to hold on to the button. What is one more death on my record? He's a killer! I'm a murderer already.

You don't have to be

Can I choose now, after all I've done? I breathe in, then out as the remote drops out of my hand, clattering on the floor. There goes my control.

Because I crave control because I'm scared of change. I watch as Loki gets up, staring me in the eye. He may not speak, but his thoughts are heard. You are a coward.

I swallow, then look at the blood on the side of the wall, where Coulson died a good man. Where Loki killed him. But I am no better.

You can move on

I look back at the alien. My words come out in stumbles, but I think he will get the message.

"I could kill you, I want to, but I won't."

He remains still, his expression emotionless. I regain myself and return the gaze. The words are stern, real.

"Because I'm not you."

I pick up the remote and walk out. I don't dare to look behind me, not when I know I've secured another victory.

Because he was wrong about me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I walk Rogers over to one of the smaller storage units on SHIELD's ground base on the outskirts of the New York countryside. I stop myself before the keypad to lift the secured door.

"So, what's inside?" He asks, genuinely curious.

I raise both eyebrows without a care, "Something worth playing with."

He's obviously not satisfied with that answer and not patient enough. Probably sick of waiting, "What's something?"

I put on a delighted grin once I input the correct code and press down on the button. The door slowly recedes, showing two very, very beautiful things. I don't need to shift my eyes from the gifts to know he truly is surprised.

Two gorgeous bikes stand inside; one 1940's Harley Davidson replica motorbike and a more modern variant I requested from inventory weeks ago.

"I picked them out of our stock, so you can thank me later," I say, adjusting my leather jacket and hoping on. He just gives me a smile as he admires the replica of his old bike from decades ago.

"Oh, get on already," I chide, "We don't want to miss this little get together."

And I go off, hair flying in the wind and all that stuff. Its been three days since the Battle of New York. Apparently, the council sent the nuke. Fury's decided not to trust them anymore. Heck, all of SHIELD won't believe a word they say for the time being.

My shoulder will be heavily scared for the rest of my life. The doctors say it will hurt from time to time. My L scare will fade in years coming.

After the battle, the whole group got a lot tighter. Rogers is now Steve, Banner is Bruce, the billionaire is Tony. Still, it's not all peace. Tony and Steve still fight. A lot.

Clint has been better. He woke half the helicarrier up last night screaming. It took almost a half hour of Natasha calming him down before he went silent. Poor guy. He and Nat are getting a much-needed vacation after our get together.

And me? I've been good, besides nightmares. Nightmares of Chitauri, dead people, wormholes. But I've dealt with horrible dreams my whole life. I can deal with these.

We arrive in Central Park. We leave our bikes a little ways away, joining the others in a circle. The Avengers, Selvig, Hill, and Fury are there. We all greet each other, smiling and laughing like old friends. We all stroll over with Thor and Loki, who is handcuffed and muzzled, to a blocked area. Thor shakes hands with us and gives Selvig a hug.

Tony opens the Tesseract's case. Bruce takes it out with what looks like a metal prong and places it inside a glass tube, held by Thor. Thor gives Loki the other end. The monster glares but takes it. A blue light comes from the cube. Plumes extend from the Tesseract, much like at the base weeks ago. The Asgardians leap into the energy beam. Gone.

For a while we just stare at each other. We don't talk, just look at the place where the monster left. Then we start to go. Bruce climbs in with Tony in his sports car. Natasha and Clint climb back into SHIELD cars. Steve and I hop on our bikes. We all part. For now.

Natasha and Clint head towards Europe for some R&R. Bruce and Tony are going back to Stark Tower, then to California to Tony's place in Miami. Steve's touring the US to see the modern world.

Me? I'm going back to work. Crazy, I know, but it's really what I need. Something to take my mind of all the insanity going around.

For a minute, I want everything to go back to normal, or take a time machine to a place where this never happened. Where my father and Coulson where alive, where aliens were just made up.

But that would be a fantasy, a fairy tale. And life isn't like that. I guess I'll have to deal.

But at the same time, I'm so glad this is real. I wouldn't know any of the Avengers except Nat and Clint. There wouldn't be an Avengers.

This attack may have killed so many innocent people, but it's brought the world together. In the most horrible way, but it has. Countries have united, people have turned to each for support. It's opened their eyes.

And maybe, just maybe, it's shown me I can be a hero, or at least not a killer. My scene with Loki suggests it. Maybe I can stop looking at myself as the bad guy. Maybe my eyes have started to look past all the blood I've spilt and look at the blood I've saved.

I believe I'm starting to forgive myself.

End of Book One.