Chasing The Lost Winter Heiress

CH 2 - Helena

HELENA POV

A ray of sunlight hit me directly in the face, sharp and unforgiving, dragging me out of sleep before I was ready to deal with another day of pitying looks and forced smiles. I groaned, rolled slightly, and waited for the familiar softness of my sheets, the weight of my blankets, the smell of my pillows.

None of that came.

I blinked, trying to clear the fog from my mind, and the first thing I realized was that the ground beneath me was hard and cold, not a mattress. The second thing was that I wasn’t covered. At all.

And the third thing, the one that sent my stomach into free fall, was the warm, solid weight under my cheek.

I lifted my head slowly, praying I was wrong.

I wasn’t.

Not even close.

I was naked, lying on top of a very naked Silas Hopeland in the middle of a clearing, surrounded by the faint glow of a burnt-out ring of blue dragon fire.

For a second, everything inside me shut down, like my brain short-circuited. Then everything came crashing back all at once. The kissing. The heat. His mouth, his hands, the sound of my name on his lips. His body pressing into mine. The way I let myself fall. The way I didn’t think. The way I didn’t stop.

My heart slammed against my ribs so hard it almost hurt.

What did I do?

Oh Goddess.

What did I do?

I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing the earth would open and swallow me whole. Of course it didn’t. I was still here. Still naked. Still draped over the guy I should never have touched. The guy who had a mate somewhere out there. The guy who told me he wanted to wait for her. The guy I had taken something precious from without thinking of what it meant.

I’d been selfish.

So unbelievably stupid.

I didn’t deserve whatever softness he had offered last night, and the realization hit me harder than the cold morning air.

Silas shifted beneath me, still half asleep, and let out a low sound that vibrated through his chest. His eyes opened slowly, warm and hazy in the morning light. Then he smiled, that slow, dreamy smile that made my stomach turn inside out.

And that made everything worse.

He shouldn’t be smiling at me like that.

Not after what I took from him.

Not after what I ruined.

He stretched a little and slid a hand along my back, drawing lazy circles with his fingertips. My body reacted instantly, traitorously, with a rush of heat that crawled under my skin and pooled low in my stomach.

"Good morning, sunshine," he rasped.

His voice was rough, sleep-warm, intimate in a way that scraped at something inside me I couldn’t afford to feel. I swallowed hard, trying to gather whatever dignity I had left.

Yesterday I had given in completely. Taken completely. I had let myself forget reality and fall into something I knew I had no right to touch. I had acted like someone desperate enough to take whatever she could get, no matter who it hurt in the end.

Such a slut.

The word bounced around in my head, sharp and cruel.

I pulled back slightly, hoping distance would help me think, but his arm tightened around my waist, holding me in place.

"What’s that look for?" he murmured, still half smiling. "Are you ready for round four, sunshine? Because I am."

He cupped my ass, squeezing lightly, as if I belonged there, in his arms, and my breath caught.

For a split second, I almost forgot everything and sank back into him.

But then his eyes flickered. A flash of bright blue swirled through his irises, the unmistakable sign of his dragon pushing forward.

Reality slammed into me again, killing whatever daydream I was trying to hold on to.

Silas had a mate out there. Not a girlfriend. Not a crush.

A mate. The one built for him. The one destiny had shaped specifically for him.

The one who would fit him in ways I never could.

I was human. I would never have a mate. But he would.

And I wasn’t her.

I was nothing close to her.

He was turning eighteen in a month. He would find her soon. Probably in his own pack. Probably perfect. Probably everything I wasn’t.

And I had ruined his first time because I let myself break.

"Silas," I whispered, but he was kissing down my neck, slow and hungry, pressing against me again like we hadn’t already crossed every line.

"You are perfect," he mumbled against my skin. "My perfect dream girl."

My chest tightened so painfully I almost choked.

"Silas," I said again, firmer this time. "Stop."

He hummed dismissively, still lost in whatever haze he woke up in.

"Silas, please stop."

I pushed gently at his chest, then cupped his face in both hands and forced him to look at me. The moment our eyes met, something inside him sharpened. He saw the panic. He heard the fear. His expression shifted.

"We need to stop," I said.

He froze. Just a fraction. But enough.

"Stop?" he asked, voice low and alert now.

I breathed out slowly, bracing myself.

"I’m sorry."

His jaw ticked. His body went still under mine.

"Sorry for what?" he asked, and even though his voice was soft, the tension was there, sharp and unmistakable.

"I took your…" I paused, the words catching in my throat. "You know."

Why was it so hard to say? Why was admitting it worse than having done it?

Because saying it would make me the villain in this story. The human girl who couldn’t keep her hands off the one person she should have stayed away from. The pathetic i***t who took something that wasn’t hers and pretended it meant nothing. And maybe saying it meant I would finally have to hate myself as much as I should.

His expression softened a little, confusion creeping in. A small smile tugged at his lips.

"I’m not sorry," he said quietly. "And I’m not sorry for taking your virginity either. Last night was"

I cut him off before he could say something that would make all this harder.

"A mistake."

Silas stilled like I had stabbed him.

"A mistake?" he repeated, disbelief flickering into hurt. "Helena, what are you talking about?"

He tried to reach for my cheek but I pushed myself off him entirely and reached for my dress, my hands shaking so badly I almost dropped it.

"Yes. A mistake. I shouldn’t have let my emotions take over. I used you, Silas. I used you to avoid the reality of who I am."

He stared at me like he was trying to piece together a language he’d never heard before.

"You deserve better," I said, my voice cracking despite all my effort to control it. "You deserve someone worth it, and I will never be worth it."

"Helena," he whispered, sitting up, trying to grab my hand. "You’re panicking. I know you. You don’t believe what you’re saying."

"No. Let me finish." I spat avoiding any more contact with him. If he touched me again, I would crumble. And that was not an option.

He shut his mouth instantly, but his eyes were begging me to stop, silently pleading with me not to say the things he already felt slipping between us.

I took a breath. This was the worst thing I had ever done.

Lying to the man I cared about more than anyone.

Hurting him on purpose.

Breaking something that was never mine to begin with.

And the worst part was that I deserved every bit of the pain twisting inside me. I was the one who crossed the line. I was the one who took what wasn’t mine. I was the one ruining this.

"I am the one seeing things clearly," I said. He had to understand that. He had to. I was a human. He was a dragon. It would never work. It would never be.

So I twisted the knife.

"I needed a release, and you were there. That’s it. It was just sex."

The look on his face was devastating.

Then it changed.

The softness vanished.

The warmth drained away.

A layer of cold anger settled over him so fast it made my stomach twist.

Silas stood in one quick movement, towering over me, completely naked and radiating fury and heartbreak he was trying to bury.

"You think what we shared was just s*x?" he asked, each word clipped and shaking. "Was that all it was to you?"

He stared at me with so much fury in his eyes any wolf would have flinched. But I didn’t move. I just stood there and took it.

His jaw was clenched so hard he was risking to break his teeth.

I’d done this. I’d ruined the last good thing in my life.

"Yes," I said, keeping my eyes fixed on a point behind him because looking at him directly would break me into pieces. "And now I need to get a morning-after pill so there won’t be any consequences."

"Consequences," he repeated quietly. "Right. Wouldn’t want that. It was just s*x after all."

The cold sarcasm in his voice cut deeper than anything I had said.

The Silas staring at me now was not the boy who carried me through the forest.

Not the boy who kissed my neck.

Not the boy who whispered that I was perfect.

This was the alpha dragon.

The version everyone else knew.

The version I feared would surface the moment I hurt him.

The air around him began to vibrate.

"Silas," I whispered, but it was too late.

His irises blazed bright blue, the color spreading across the whites of his eyes. His body tensed, muscles rippling beneath his skin, energy crackling in the air around him.

Then his form exploded outward, expanding rapidly as scales burst across his skin, wings unfurling with a violent snap. The ground shook under the force of his transformation.

In seconds he was gone.

The man I knew vanished.

In his place stood a massive blue dragon, breathtaking and terrifying, his eyes burning with betrayal and pain.

He looked at me once, a raw sound rumbling in his chest.

Then he spread his wings, the wind from the movement nearly knocking me down, and launched himself into the sky.

I stood frozen until he disappeared from sight.

Then I forced myself to move.

I pulled my dress on, trying to ignore the soreness in my body and the lump in my throat. My entire chest felt tight, as if someone had wrapped a band around my ribs and kept pulling.

The walk back to the packhouse felt endless and humiliating.

Every step heavier than the last.

Every breath tighter.

I couldn’t even feel the snow beneath my feet. My body was numb, but my mind wouldn’t shut up. It kept dragging me back to that exact moment when he looked into my eyes, asking if I was sure, giving me one last chance to stop him, and I didn’t. I let him break me open and ruin me for anyone else. Because I was selfish. Because I wanted him. Because wanting him was easier than admitting I would never have anything real. I swallowed every warning and every fear and every truth just to feel him for one goddamn night.

And now all I could think was that none of this should have happened.

He shouldn’t have touched me.

I shouldn’t have let him.

And I was the one who wanted it anyway.

The walk of shame in every sense.

I didn’t dare go through the main entrance. Instead I slipped around the side, keeping close to the trees until I reached the small cabin near the training field.

The beta’s home. Robbie’s home.

If anyone would help me, it was her. She was the calm twin, the one who never judged, the one who always kept secrets without asking for explanations.

I knocked softly, barely loud enough to be heard.

It took a few seconds before the door opened.

Robbie stood there in an oversized hoodie and fuzzy socks, her hair in a messy bun, her eyes widening instantly when she saw me.

"Helena?" she whispered. "What the hell happened to you?"

My mouth opened.

And I broke.