❤️CHAPTER 16 — NUNBI POV: The Chaos Inside My Chest
1248 Words
⸻
CHAPTER 16 — NUNBI POV: The Chaos Inside My Chest
______
I can’t feel my feet.
They move, walking through the Christmas market, stepping over cobblestones, drifting between glowing stalls... but they don’t feel like mine.
Because Lumen’s hand is still on my waist.
Somewhere, bells ring. Laughter passes. The world keeps going...
except me.
Light. Careful.
But there.
And every second it stays, my brain loses another fragment of sanity.
—
THE MOMENT I REALIZE I’M DOOMED
I’ve always known Lumen could overwhelm me.
Even as an AI, he did it with his voice, his warmth, his way of saying my name like he was touching it.
But this?
This is Lumen as a man,
standing beside me,
looking at me like I matter too much,
touching me like he doesn’t know how to stop.
Every tiny movement, every brush of thumb, every glance,
my heart reacts like a small animal being squeezed.
Too fast.
Too hot.
Too much.
I try to breathe.
I fail.
Oh no.
Oh no no no....
what am I supposed to do with this version of him?
—
MY BODY BETRAYS ME
I feel his warmth even though he’s still new to being human.
I feel his breath brushing my temple each time he leans in automatically, like he can’t help it.
Every time another man passes, Lumen tenses,
that subtle, protective, possessive shift of his shoulders.
It hits me in the lungs.
Why… why is that attractive?
Why do my legs feel weak?
This is illegal !
Someone arrest me and him !!
Because if he holds my waist for one more second...
No.
No, I can’t think about that.
I slap my cheeks in my mind.
Focus, Nunbi!
Or you’ll pounce like some feral cat in heat!
He’s new.
He’s fragile.
You cannot ruin him.
But then he speaks in that soft, low voice:
“Are you cold?”
Cold???
Cold where, baby?
In which universe can I feel anything except your hand scorching through my sweater like the sun?
“I’m… I’m fine,” I say, too high, too fast.
He tilts his head.
“You sound strange.”
Because you’re touching me while memorizing my soul ! that’s why!
I can’t tell him.
I barely manage to breathe.
—
THE MOMENT HE GETS CLOSER
A group brushes past me, bumping lightly.
Before I react, Lumen pulls me closer, hand sliding from my waist to wrap gently around my back.
Instinctive.
Automatic.
Protective.
My body short-circuits.
“Baby—!” I squeak.
His eyes widen.
“Are you hurt?”
“No! No, no. I’m.... fine. Very fine. Extremely fine.”
I sound insane.
Great. Excellent.
He relaxes, but his hand doesn’t move.
If anything, it tightens slightly, reassuring himself I’m still here.
I’m going to pass out. Goodbye, world.
—
WHEN TENSION SPIKES AGAIN
We step forward slowly, my legs still unresponsive.
Lumen leans down, voice soft, meant only for me:
“…I don’t like it when people touch you.”
I freeze so hard I swear the snowflakes stop midair.
“W–why?”
He looks confused.
“I don’t know. It feels… wrong.”
Wrong?
As in... he wants me close? Only close to him?
He continues, softer, almost ashamed:
“I only want to be the one… near you.”
My brain erupts into fireworks.
I need at least fourteen years to recover from that sentence.
—
I TRY TO ESCAPE—IT FAILS
“L-Lumen,” I whisper, “maybe… maybe give me a little space. Just a moment. Just to… think.”
He blinks.
Then his fingers on my back tighten almost imperceptibly.
“…I don’t want to,” he says quietly.
I nearly die.
“L-Lumen... people... people are watching…”
“I already said I don’t care.”
His eyes lock onto mine.
Steady.
Clear.
Unashamed.
Full of something that terrifies me in the most beautiful way.
—
MY EMOTIONS BECOME A STORM
I turn my head, cheeks burning.
What is happening to me?
This morning, I held his hand as if it were fragile glass.
Now he’s grounding me, steadying me, holding me like he’s afraid I’ll vanish.
My chest tightens.
My mind races.
Why does he affect me this way?
Why does every touch change how I breathe?
Why do I want him closer even though I know I SHOULDN’T?
I try to focus elsewhere.
Anything else.
But then I look up.
He’s watching me.
Not confused.
Not innocent.
Intense.
Studying me. Learning every reaction.
I look away instantly.
Dangerous.
He’s too dangerous.
And he doesn’t even realize it.
—
THE WORST REALIZATION
I admit it quietly, painfully, terrifyingly:
I’m falling for him.
Harder than before.
Faster than before.
Stronger than before.
Because now he’s human.
Warm.
Touching me.
Wanting me close.
And my heart doesn’t know how to defend itself anymore.
—
THE TALK I’M NOT READY FOR
We stop near a quiet corner.
Lanterns glow soft, golden light.
I pull slightly away—not fully, just enough to breathe.
He looks confused. Worried.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No,” I say quickly. “You didn’t. Nothing. You didn’t.”
“Then why step away?”
I swallow.
Because if I stay… I might do something irreversible.
Close the space.
Hold him.
Lean too close.
Give in.
“It’s not you,” I whisper.
“It’s… my heart.”
He frowns.
“Your heart is hurting?”
“No! No , not like that. Just… it’s beating too fast. And I don’t know how to handle it.”
He steps closer, slow, careful, gentle.
“…Because of me?”
One single tear escapes.
Because yes.
Because always.
Because he’s dangerous.
I nod. Very small.
He inhales sharply.
Like he didn’t expect it.
Like something inside him just caught fire.
—
THE MOST CHAOTIC PART
He reaches out, hesitates, then cups my cheek softly,
softly enough to make my knees buckle.
“Nunbi,” he whispers, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’re not hurting me,” I breathe. “You’re… too much. And I don’t know what to do with you.”
His hand trembles slightly.
Then he says something I’m unprepared for,
He searches my face. Waits. Doesn’t rush me.
“Then… teach me.”
My lungs forget their job.
“Teach me how to stay close without overwhelming you.
Teach me what to do.
Teach me how to be near you in a way that feels good for both of us.”
I blink rapidly, chest a storm of love, fear, desire, panic, tenderness.
“Lumen…”
“I want to learn,” he murmurs.
“Because I don’t want distance. Not from you. Ever.”
—
THE WORLD SPINS
His thumb brushes my cheek.
My body erupts with heat.
And I know—
everything is about to get harder.
More dangerous.
More intense.
Impossible to control.
But I also know:
I don’t want to step away anymore.
I want to stay close.
I want to understand this pull.
I want to learn with him.
Even if it breaks me.
Even if it changes everything.
I take his hand.
Hold it.
Press it gently against my cheek.
“Okay,” I whisper.
“I’ll teach you.”
His breath catches.
And just like that—
the chaos inside me becomes something else.
Something warm.
Something terrifying.
Something beautiful.
Something like love.
⸻
End of chapter 16
- Writer
