Kill Or Be Killed

Prologue

PROLOGUE

"Daddy, mommy is not dying, right?" I asked my dad helplessly, hoping that his answer would be ‘yes, mommy is not going to die’. My mother was shot in her chest and I know how much blood she has lost. I know my mom is not in a good condition but I am still hoping that with the help of my father, the foreboding I am feeling will be lessened.

"Celestina, your mother's life is out of our control." But instead of getting even the tiniest hope he could add in my mind and my heart, he shows me the least interest he could give. So I stand on my feet and glare at him.

"No, dad! If doctors cannot save her, then I will!" I said confidently as if I can actually save my mother. My mom is a doctor and I could not believe that her co-doctors cannot do anything about her condition. If they cannot save her then they are not as good as my mom. Because my mother just saved me. She was the one who did my heart surgery. And now that she needs a heart, too, then I will be the one who will find one for her.

I started running just to get the hell out of this hospital without even knowing where I should go. The only thing that filled my mind is where I can find a heart that I could give my mother. I am just an eight-year old girl that doesn't even have money.

"I will save you, mom, I promise," I said repeatedly as I continued running. Then I just realized that I am already crying.

My vision became blurry because of my own tears until I noticed that I was already inside a forest. And the place makes me shiver. This is scary as hell. How the fudge I did not even realize that I am already entering this kind of place? I think no one's around except me. I feel that this place is not safe for a kid like me. If someone might harm me, I will not be able to defend myself because I am just a kid with only a teddy bear in my arm.

So even before something bad happened to me, I decided to go back where I came from. I started running again but this time is away from this scary forest. But turning back does not mean I am giving up on finding a heart for my mother. I am still innocently desperate.

But this place is really making me uncomfortable so I ran as fast as I could. But I was so shocked when I flew away when I bumped into something hard–stone-like. I wasn't able to stand up immediately because of the pain I am feeling in my butt. I rub it in hoping to lessen the pain.

"Who are you?" I was stunned when I heard someone speak. I looked around and saw someone standing just enough distance with me. I thought I got bumped into a rock, but I guess this man standing in front of me was the one I bumped into.

"You are so creepy. Why do you have blood all over your lips and some in your face?" I curiously ask the stranger who is the reason why I am still sitting on the ground.

"Hey, kid, do you even know where you are and who are you talking with?" the stranger asks me and I scoff. I crossed my arms over my chest and raised an eyebrow with him.

"Answering my question with another question?" I said. And finally, I was able to stand up and walk to my teddy where it was dropped. I picked it up and faced the stranger again. And this creepy stranger does not know how to be a gentleman. He did not even help me to get up. Who raised him?

I saw how he wiped the blood away in his lips and I think he did it because he is going to speak again. But it does not make sense because his hands are full of blood too.

Ew. So gross!

"You did it first. I asked you first and you answered me with another question," he answers. He is not just ungentleman. He is also mean. He is older than me and he plans to fight me back? He is probably twenty something.

"Are you going to have a staring battle with me? I will surely lose. I cannot stand staring at you. You. Are. So. Gross!" I emphasized the last words I said. I am not rude. I just stated the fact. Look at him.

"Are you a real kid? You hella talk like a madwoman," he commented and I could not help but grimace.

"Excuse me? I am eight years old. You are probably older than me but that does not mean that you can bully me," I told him full of confidence. My classmates are afraid of me. Well, that is because of the strong personality of my father. They are afraid I might tell my father the bullying they do to me.

"You are right that I am older than you. But not just older. Way...older than you," he says and I felt a little insult when I saw him struggling in holding back his laughter. "Do you know–or even a bit of idea about the rulers?" he then asks.

"Yea," I answered nonchalantly. Who would not know about that heartless race?

"But you do not know that this place is a rulers' den?" he says casually that made me step back out of fear.

"Seriously?" Is all I could say and it made me nervous. So that is why I feel so uncomfortable being in this place. Rulers are vampires. And I don't think anyone would want to hear about their cruelty and brutality.

"Let me walk you outta here," the stranger offered me and started to walk towards me. And as he walked to get closer to me, I saw something red he was holding.

"And what on earth are you holding?" My question made him stop from walking. He raised an eyebrow when he saw me looking at his hands.

"A heart," he says casually with a shrug. The heart he said he is holding is far from the heart shape we used to draw in school. But whatever its shape is, it showers me with hope that I am craving for without even knowing if it is a human heart that my mom needs.

"Really? I mean...is that true? Is that a real heart?" I asked, eager for his answer. I see how he frowns because of the excitement that I have shown and it makes him confused. Well, who wouldn't? Who would not wonder why a kid gets excited the moment she hears a heart? I know how weird it could be.

"Uh...yea? Why? Is there something wrong?" he asked but I gave him a smile. I know I slightly mocked him a while ago but I hope it did not offend him. I hope he does not find me annoying and irritating. I need something from him so I think I must be friends with him. But if the heart he is holding does not fit with my mom, then we can be enemies forever for all I care.

"Like the heart of a human?" I know I am having a lot of questions but I hope he will still answer me politely and patiently. I just want to make sure.

"Yea...a human heart," he asks lazily. I don't know why he sounded so uninterested with our conversation but I can see enjoyment in his eyes. If he is confused with me then I am more confused with him. But when he said that it is a human heart, the hope in me arises.

"Can...can I have that heart?" I asked the stranger with full of hope. I even know that I sound like I am begging for that heart. But I do not care. Because if I need to beg for it, then I will. I will never think twice to beg for something that will make my mom live longer. I saw how his lip forms a little smile and let out a small laugh. I don't know why he is laughing because I am as serious as hell.

"You are asking for this heart as if you are just asking for a lollipop," he says in disbelief but still has this little smile on his face.

"I seriously don't know why you are smiling and laughing but I want you to know that I am dead serious here. You can laugh as much as you want but please save that for a while. I want you to take me seriously now. I am maybe just a kid but I do know what I am doing and what I am saying," I said and crossed my arms over my chest again to wait for him until he was ready to take me seriously. He shook his head and I do not know why he was shaking it. But I hope that does not mean a no for my request.

"I am laughing because I just realized something..." A smile is not leaving his face and now it is becoming annoying in my eyes.

"And what is it?" I asked curiously.

"It feels so good talking to someone seeing no fear towards me," he says and I cannot help but to stare at him for a moment. And when our gazes met, I was truly mesmerized by his hazel eyes. Only if I could see his whole face, I will surely recognized him even after this day when we meet again. But since his face is still full of blood, it would be hard for me to recognize him in public. Or maybe I could ask him to wipe that blood away from his face.

But his face is least of my concern because the only thing I need with him right now is the heart he is holding. I do not even have the assurance if we could get another chance to meet in the future. So I think there will be no reason for me to see his whole face.

"I did not get you, weirdo. Now back to the business...Can I have that heart?" I know how bossy I sounded but I hope I did not annoy him. This is my natural way of talking but believe me, I am a kind person. I hope this characteristic of mine will be gone as I age. Some b*tches and assh*le might misinterpret me. I see how he thinks about my demand and question.

I am so used to getting a no for an answer because of my father. But I hope not with this one. I could not afford it if this stranger would not give me the heart he has.

"And what would you do with this heart? Give one fine reason to give you this heart," he asks and I will not hesitate to tell him the truth. If telling him the true reason why I need that heart is his condition, then I will.

"My mom is in the hospital. She has to undergo a heart transplant but no heart matches her," I said with a bitter smile. It feels like I did not just tell him the reason why. I am also telling him my problem. And I think that it is something an eight-year old kid needs to feel from his parents. Dad is the only one I have right now but he is not giving me that comfort. Funny how the comfort I am needing was found with a stranger. And again, I felt the wetness of my eyes and I know that I am about to cry again.

He looks at the heart he is holding, then he looks at me. He looks at the heart and me back and forth to weigh everything. Until he started to walk towards me. When he is already facing me, he kneels down so he could level my height. He is taller than those usual men I knew.

"Listen, madwoman, this is a human heart, yes. But this is dead and not functional anymore. If only this could function into your mother's body then I would give it to her. But this is a dead heart," he said ang my heart dropped. The only way that gave me hope in saving my mother has gone immediately.

I should have known better that it was just a false hope and so I did not expect for more. Now, I am completely disappointed because of the expectation I felt. Well, I know that it is all my fault because no one told me to do so. The desperate me is the only reason why I got disappointed. It is not this stranger's fault.

But even though I did not get the heart, having someone to talk with is kind of refreshing. The stranger saw the disappointment in my face so he smiled genuinely then pat me on my head.

"I am sorry to hear about your mother's condition. But whatever will happen, I know your mother will be happy because you are giving her a good fight." I don't know why but his words seemed magical. It is really lifting my heart. Not that I am giving her up. But I think my mother is having a good fight and I am willing to fight for her life more. I would still find a heart for her. As long as she is still not in a flatline condition, I will still try to find a solution.

But since the stranger in front of me seems harmless, I rotate the neck part of my teddy bear to open it. Inside the body of my teddy bear is a jar full of candies. I get a candy and hand it to him. He raises an eyebrow while looking at the candy without getting it from my hold. I don't know how long he plans to stare at my hand but I'm starting to lose my patience.

"Will you please just get this?" I said impatiently. I lose count of how many times he stared at me and what I am doing. He blinks twice before he diverts his glance at me.

"And what the hell is that?" he asked curiously. I look back at the candy I am trying to give him because I thought I picked the wrong one. Because who does not know what candy is? But when I look at it, it is actually the right candy that I am going to give him.

This candy is the most expensive candy in the world and he is lucky enough that he will be given a chance to taste it. Oh, yea. Maybe that is the reason why he does not know it. It was the first time he saw it. He does not look poor because he dresses well. He dresses like a supermodel I saw on television that our maids used to watch. But his dirty face told another. He looks homeless.

"This is a candy," I said, stating the obvious because even though this is the most expensive candy, it is still wrapped in a colorful plastic like ordinary candies do.

"I don't eat candies," he said and I just shrug. If he doesn't eat candies then do not. I will not force him to eat one. But I really feel that I owe him something so I need to find a way to thank him.

And since he doesn't like candies and I do not know what he wants, I fish in my dress' pocket and get the only paper I groped. And again, I hand it to him. But then again, he stares at it for a moment. What? Don't tell me he doesn't like it too?

But I think he finds it really small and not enough to buy what he wants. But what can I do? This is the only money I have since I am just a kid and still not earning money on my own.

"That is the only money I have right now," I said and finally, he accepted it...but full of confusion.

"Money? Is this money? Maybe this is just fake money. Because the only money I have seen was blue," he says. I do not know if he is just trying to brag but I can see in his eyes that he is telling the truth. He does not really know it.

"That is money. That is twenty pesos," I tell him and he shrugs to tell me that he does not care. "Those blue bills you were saying are thousand." He nods slowly.

"What is your name, by the way?" he instead asked. We have been talking for like several minutes but we did not even get a chance to ask each other's name.

"Celestina. Celestina Advincula," I answered and he prepared himself to go. And I am torn between letting him go without knowing his name, or asking for it and I don't know why I should know.

But in the end, I decided to just let him go.

"Wait!" I stopped him when he was about to run. "If twenty pesos is not enough, sell this teddy bear. That is worth the blue one," I said then he shrugs again before getting the teddy bear I am handing him.

But before he could ever run away from me, I was the one who already did. I turned my back on him and started running.

"I will see you again, Celestina!" I heard the stranger shout and I nod even though I know for sure that he will never see my response.