Of Dark & Light: Acceptance

Chapter Nine

Amara's POV

I laid there floating in the empty. Thinking about the last few days. So much was dumped on me in such a small time. I had woken from a 4-year coma. My mother, my home, my life was taken from me. my twins were not little anymore but young adults with voices of their own. Jamie was a Dr and loved me in some aspect. There was still an ongoing investigation that has too with my past... But what was in my past that I do not remember?

The question I will be thinking about the most until I have the answers. I needed to do good on this psych evaluation. I needed to get out of here and think for myself. I have found an awkward comfort here in the empty but when I wake I now feel the empty void of my room sucking me in, closing me in and I can not breathe. which is a new feeling to think about. That my once prison now felt like my safety net. I did not want to feel like this though. 

When I was here though I could feel my parents. That's when I heard him... "малышка, прости нас, прости меня. Я причина всей твоей боли." (little one, please forgive us, forgive me. I am the cause of all your pain.) Daddy? I don't understand? I don't understand any of this? "Вы найдете ответы, которые я вам оставил." (you will find the answers I have left you.) With that last word, I felt myself waking up. 

No, I was not ready to leave! Daddy, what have you left me? Everything was burned to the ground. There is nothing left anymore... "Mari?" his tired husky voice broke through to my darkness and I opened my eyes. I sat up quickly, "Jamie! did you hear him? Dad was just here! I heard his voice! Tell me you heard him too?" Jamie just sat there on the side of me confused. I saw his eyes give me the answers. He was conflicted. I could see he wanted to believe me and then the rational side of him was telling me I needed psych now...

"Jamie please I promise I am not crazy..." I said pleading... radio silence and concern. of course, he would not believe me. "Just...just never mind. Just go. Leave me alone while I wait for Lillie and Mattie. I do not need you here to babysit me."  Saying this snapped him back and he looked sad for a minute. "Amara, the twins will not be here today..." "..what...but why? they said..." "you know what yesterday was. what last night was... the twins have the worst terrors on the anniversary every year. miss. Millie will not be bringing them today. As she is going to let them sleep off their terrors today." 

How could I not think about any of that? how could I completely forget about it. I was told they relive that night and last night was the 4 year anniversary of it. oh... I sat there with my head down for a moment. "I understand. That is okay I guess since they are not going to be here all day we could jump into all my scans and stuff to help me get released then?" "Yeah, I can have Jakie set all that up for your day today and tonight." his wordage... is he not working today or tonight? I guess I just assumed. I could see he was understanding my silence. "I have today and tomorrow off. I just did not want to leave before you woke. I wanted to help you with your phone. There is a feature where you can video call your siblings when they wake up today. Or if you would like to video Miss. Millie. I figured that I would show you instead of letting Dr. Minx stumble trying to show you."

This made me laugh out loud as he joined me. as he grabs my phone and starts what looks like getting things set up to show me. "haha! yeah, I can understand that logic. Well, I would be greatly appreciated it if you could help me. I mean I do not want to take your time with Ally away. That wouldn't be fair so let's go through it fast."  Looking back up to me I noticed a sadness in his features now. "what? did I say her name wrong? I'm sorry..." "no...Mar... don't be sorry. It is just complicated." I could not understand what would be complicated about spending time with your future wife? I mean that is what you are supposed to on your time off right? I mean I know I have been out of it for 4 years but nothing like that would change just like that. 

He must have read my questioning face, jumping on changing the subject. "Okay well anyways here look..." Sneaky, but I allowed it as I wanted to hear what he had to say about my phone. I liked the idea of being able to as he said "facetime". I could always be close to the twins even when I am so far away. He sat there for the next 45 minutes or so explaining how everything worked and explaining my data plan and phone and unlimited texts where. That was new. I hated texting because mom would start taking a texting fee from me. so that will be something I needed to remember. He also showed me how to make a f*******: account. Myspace was a thing of the past and f*******: was the main source of social interaction now. 

I guess I could be okay with that. I would have to make one over the next few days as I would be beyond bored. Maybe I could get the twins to get me some normal clothing and we could take a picture for my f*******: picture. Who would even add me? I mean all my friends have left me behind and moved on with their lives right? Jamie must have noticed my spiral of questions. " Amara, slow down take one step at a time okay. But I gotta get going or I may pass out right here right now." Oh s**t, I completely forgot! He worked all night long. "Oh my god! Jamie goes home and sleeps. Also, thank you. For you know showing me how to work my phone a bit more. It means alot. You did not have to.:." He snickered at me as he stood up. "Well, I could not very well have Dr. Geezer out there breaking your only connection to the outside world at the moment."

"haha, yeah i guess you are right but Jamie...Thank you." Before he went out the door he turned and smiled at me before saying, "Always, kid. Always."